


Like Sun and Moon

by Nindemon



Series: When darkness falls... [1]
Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Language, F/M, Fear, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Psychological Trauma, Romance, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Soulmates, Tragedy, Trauma, True Love, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 21:22:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 47,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4977013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nindemon/pseuds/Nindemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirana Trevelyan has seen enough of the war between Mages and Templars. She has seen the worst of what the Templars can do.<br/>She never would fall in love with a bloody Templar...no matter how freakishly handsome...no never.</p><p>He wouldn't accept her anyway.<br/>... </p><p>This will be a long story, about two very different people falling in love against all odds.<br/>*****<br/>IMPORTANT NEWS: (April 2017) This fic is currently being rewritten and will be published as a collection to this one.<br/>This tale was inspired by all the people posting their fanfiction on this side, you guys are amazing!!<br/>Similarities to other storys are not intended, but will probably occur non the less.</p><p>Help, questions, suggestions and constructive critic are always welcome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my Story...enjoy :D Diffrent POVs (Cullen,Kira,Narrator)
> 
> *****
> 
> IMPORTANT NEWS: (April 2017) This fic is currently being rewritten and will be published as a collection to this one.

It all happened too fast. There was no time to think clearly. 

She reached up to wipe her mouth with the back of her hand. She tasted blood on her tongue. The Templar standing in front of her, holding his shield high to block of the next attack from the looming Pride Demon, grunted as the chain of lightning finally went down on them. He skidded back a few steps from the impact, but was still holding his ground against the sheer force of the strike. 

Then the demon turned his head with a cry of outrage as one of Lilliana's arrows struck deep into the flesh of his right shoulder. He lunged at her, but she almost danced out of reach, before the viciously sharp claws could grab her. A frustrated growl echoed from the walls of the ruins that once was the Temple of Sacred Ashes.

Kira looked up at the big looming rift over her head. The bright green light sickened her. This had to end, one way or another... 

She felt sore from the fight, her muscles tiered, her head spinning from the sharp impact that had thrown her backwards into the stonewall. She wished she could just lay down and sleep, a week, a year, forever. 

She was so tiered of it all. The Mark on her left hand tingled. She looked down at her hand, the unfamiliar magic running trough her veins. If she wanted or not, she was the only one able to close that big green thing over their heads.

She tried to stand up but her legs gave way, a sharp pain running through her chest. She closed her eyes in pain and took a deep breath. 

As the pain slowly ebbed, she opened her eyes to see a big gauntleted hand extended towards her. The Templar had turned and stood now over her holding a hand out to help her up. He was broad shouldered and tall, muscular but not bulky. He had tawny blond curls and bright golden eyes now fixed on her features.

“Are you alright” he asked.

She glared at him

“Don't touch me:”..”Ever” 

He looked taken aback.

By looking up at him standing over her, rage shot through her veins. Hot and fierce. In the distance of her mind she could hear screaming and wicked laughter. she pushed the oncoming memory aside before it could take form. 

The rage she felt now pulsing through her blood washed every weariness aside, every thought of “giving up” leaving her mind. She would not give in - she would not- if she had to die she will do so, head high and proud. She would not show weakness ever again.

She stood slightly trembling, plain wood staff in hand, bracing herself for the inevitable.

“Out of my way Templar...Now” she hissed.

He looked startled but took a step to the side watching her intently, confused. He blinked and started to say something. But she didn't listen, nor pay attention to him any longer. 

 

Her gaze was now fixed on the still wildly thrashing Pride demon in front of her. She took another deep calming breath and moved forward, letting the rage inside of her inflame her magic. She let it flow through her hole body, her soul, she embraced it with every fibre of her being. Let it run free, envelope her. She felt the fire, the ice, the storm raging inside of her. She began to whirl her staff around her, gracefully, letting the magic light the tip of her staff in bright blue flames. She was fire and ice equally measured.

The demon turned, its eyes focusing upon her.

She did not slow down nor did she flinch, as the big sizzling electric whip came down again, missing her face by only an inch. She could feel the electricity buzzing around her.

She kept focusing on the Magic whirling around her. The tip of her Staff now glowing with dazzling intensity.

Finally she brought down the bottom of her staff hard against the ground. In a thundering boom a shock wave filled with her Magic erupted from the staff, rushing toward the demon, it washed over him with incredible power. The Pride Demon staggered backwards, his cries of outrage quickly turning into pain. 

It dropped to one knee, beaten, ashes beginning to rise from it's form and disappearing into the fade rift.

“NOW...close the rift!” she heard Solas shout.

Kira turned and raised her left hand with the greenish mark toward the rift above them. 

She felt the strange new magic raising up inside of her, intermixing with her own. It was almost to much. She felt like bursting, every muscle in her body vibrating, the singing of the magic loud in her ears, skin tingling. Unable to hold it back any longer she willed it forward.

It broke free, rushing out of her with tremendous force, clashing against the rift. It threatened to tear her apart, but she held on.

The rift slowly began to brighten intensely. It began to pulse.

...still she held on...

It flickered.

She felt the strength leaving her muscles. Her body felt drained, every shaky breath burned her lungs. She weakened rapidly. In a last attempt, she threw every remaining power into her magic. With a thundering boom the rift exploded.

She sank to her knees, relieve washing over her.

"It's done." She thought, drifting into blissful darkness.

____

The shock wave erupting from the rift send everyone around it to the ground.

Cullen was knocked backwards. He felt the air suddenly leaving his lungs as he crashed hard to the ground. His Longsword, knocked out of his hands by the impact, skittered over the uneven stone floor. 

He lay on his back panting, a loud ringing in his ears caused by the explosion. He blinked.  
The white dots before his eyes starting to vanish, he could see clearly again.

He rolled on his side and let his gaze sweep over the battlefield.

Cullen saw the people around him slowly rising to their feet looking awestruck and dizzy.

He spotted Cassandra and Varrik on the other side of the battlefield, both looked shaken but mostly uninjured.

His eyes found Leliana as she was reaching out a hand to Solas, helping him up. The elf hesitated a moment before seizing her offered hand and swinging himself up with a graceful motion.

 

He heard whispers rising .Then laughter. And suddenly the men and women around him shouting with obvious joy and relieve.

“The RIFT!! It's GONE...praise the Maker!!”

Cullen looked up to the spot where the Rift had been - it was gone - the breach far above their heads remained but the immediate danger was gone.

He couldn't help the smile of relieve slowly spreading over his face.

"She did it...she..."

His eyes began to search the floor beneath the spot were the rift had been only moments before.

He saw her then, laying motionless in the dust.

Cullen scrambled to his feet hurrying over to the small figure on the ground, almost running. He skidded to a stop in front of her slender form.

She lay on her side one arm outstretched in front of her the other behind her back, her long, deep red curls covering her face. Her staff laying beside her, broken in two.

Cullen dropped to his knees beside her, silently praying.

He reached out a hand to uncover her face. Then hesitated...

”Don't touch me..ever” Her voice still clear in his head.

He lifted the soft curls lightly off her face. She still didn't move.

“Maker please..”

Cullen studied her face closely.

The skin under her dust covered cheeks was pale - too pale - her lightly feline shaped eyes closed, eyelids rimmed by thick black lashes. Her deep red lips slightly parted and a thin trickle of blood running down her delicate chin. 

Cullen pulled his left hand out of his metal gauntlet and carefully cupped her cheek with his big rough palm. Her skin felt soft, but cold. He wiped away the blood at the corner of her mouth with his thumb.

"Beautiful" was the only thing he could think of.

Cullen felt a very faint draft of air coming out of her nostrils and he heard a very soft singing in his head the moment he touched her face.

“She is alive...thank the maker” He thought relieved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My fingers are itching every time I read through the first couple of chapters. They certainly need more editing.


	2. The Herald of Andraste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kira awakes in Haven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one I had to split it in two cause it came out too long.

“Run!..Warn them!”

Kira turned her head while she ran as fast as she could, chased by nightmarish figures, catching up quickly.

Wicked laughter ringing in her ears, the screaming of a girl.

She stumbled, almost falling to the ground. A bright figure standing in front of her reaching out a hand...

Next. She was pushed toward a bright green light and then the sense of falling.

She woke with a sudden cry of her own, panting, sweating, trying to shake the dream.

"Was it a dream?" She didn't know.

She heard the sound of a wooden box cluttering to the floor and looked up quickly, heart racing in her chest.

The slender Elf standing in front of her looked, shaken.

“I didn't know your awake I swear” the Elf said frightened..retreating backwards to the door.

“Why are you frightened? What happened?” Kira asked a little confused, still trying to shake of the dream.

“That's wrong, isn't it? I said the wrong thing.” the elf tapping from one foot to the other, clearly nervous, and still retreating backwards.

“What..?” Kira shook her head slightly, the elf dropped suddenly to her knees , visibly trembling.

“I beg your forgiveness and your blessing. I am but a humble servant.” she said in a thin voice “You are back in Haven My Lady....they say you saved us. The Breach stopped growing. Just like the Mark on your hand.”

Kira looked at the slender elf in utter disbelieve, unable to speak for a moment. This is weird. She glanced at the Mark on her hand, it looked stable now and did not hurt like before.

“It's all anyone has talked about for the last three days” the elf contiued.

“Three days?..what I don't understand?” then the memory came rushing back. The Pride Demon, fighting, the Templar, his hand outstretched, golden eyes looking down at her, rage, bright lights, the sense of falling, a soft touch to her face...

She focused again on the elf still kneeling in front of her bed.

“Then the danger is over? We are save now?" She asked the elf.

“The Breach is still in the sky, but that's what they say.” replied the elf eyes on the floor.

“Oh stand up silly girl !!....Why are you kneeling before me?” she said to the elf clearly annoyed now.

The Elf jumped up, now looking scared, she almost ran to the door but stopped shortly before she reached it and looked back at Kira. She hesitated for a moment.

“ I'm certain Lady Cassandra would want to know you've wakened. She said: At once”

“Then were is she?” Kira asked politely, she did not want to frighten the silly little thing any more as she obviously already had.

“In the Chantry with The Lord Chancellor.“ At once..she said” replied the elf, then turned immediately and fled. 

Kira shook her head in disbelieve. Then stood up looking for some fresh clothes. 

She found them hanging over a chair standing in the corner of her room. Soft brown tightly fitting leather trousers. 

A sturdy slightly blue wool shirt and a leather mantle, short in front but falling almost down to her knees on the back, a little to wide for her taste. 

She found some soft blue cloth in a trunk near the bed and wrapped it tightly around her waist, binding it to a knot right on top of her left hip letting the rest of the cloth fall down on her side. That was way better.

She slipped into the soft leather boots in front of her bed and fastened the metal straps on the side almost up to her knees.

When she found everything to her liking, she prepared herself to step outside into the cool mountain air.

 

Nothing in Thedas could have prepared her for this. 

This is...why are they all staring at me? She let her gaze sweep over the gathering crowd in front of her.

The crowd began to whisper in awe. “That's her..it's the Herald of Andraste come to save us all” “Maker be praised” 

She stood frozen in front of the crowd, unable to move.

“The Herald of WHAT?...are they...” she suppressed the urge to look around and see if they addressed someone else instead of her.

Finally she started to walk towards them. She needed answers to that odd behaviour.

“Cassandra and Leliana will have a lot to explain...” she thought darkly.

The crowd split to let her through. She saw them line the road up to the chantry.

Kira walked passed them, still accompanied by their faint whispers of awe, some of them even reaching out a hand to touch her.

When she reached the tavern a little girl with tawny hair in a white dress came running towards her and stopped right in front of her.

She looked down at the girl and smiled.

“Emily” she heard a woman call out. “Stop bothering the Herald”

Kira hunkered down to the girls eye level.

“You're name is Emily?” she asked the girl still smiling ”That's a beautiful name”

The girl giggled, reaching out a tiny hand to touch her face and then she turned to run back to her mother.

Kira straightened up again and started to walk around the corner when she suddenly noticed a group of Templars standing across the road.

She stopped dead in her track, watchful, her body tensing.

“Always lurking in the shadows...bloody Templars.” 

They looked at her, whispering to themselves, and then they bowed -they bowed- to HER. A mage. An apostate. She couldn't believe it.

“This is madness...the world is truly coming to an end when Templars start to bow down before an apostate mage”

Kira rapidly walked, past the still bowing Templars, up to the Chantry.

\----

“The Mage has failed seeker! The Breach is still in the sky” said an angry voice behind the door, leading to the back room of the Chantry.

Kiras hand froze on the door handle. She stood, silently listening.

“The Breach is stable Chancellor, Solas confirmed that already” Cassandra said annoyed.

“She is dangerous Seeker, you should not let her run free. Haven't you read the reports from the Chantry?” the Chancellor raged on.

“I have.” Cassandra said shortly. “What of it?”

“What of it?!” he almost shrieked. “She deliberately attacked the Templar who caught her trying to destroy her phylactery! She is already a criminal by all means, chain her and send her to Val Royeaux."

“The Case wasn't clarified. I already misjudged her once. I will not do so again” Cassandra answered.  
“Well..that's a first” Kira thought surprised.

“You think she isn't responsible for what happened at the Conclave? For Divine Justinias death?” Chancellor Roderick shouted.

“Enough!” an unfamiliar deep voice with Ferelden accent interrupted him. “We all heard Justinias voice at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. She called the Herald for help” 

“I wonder who that is” Kira thought marvelling at the pleasant sound of the voice “I always liked the Ferelden accent”

She could sense something or someone? on the other side of the door. It was a light tingling that went trough her body, she shuddered slightly.

Kira had heard enough, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Don't let them see how confused you are...be strong." 

She exhaled and opened her eyes again as she entered the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading let me know what you think


	3. Her Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First proper meeting of Cullen and Kira. Leliana will reveal her background to the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this is the second part. I didn't really intended it to turn out this way...let's see what you think

Cullen grew more irritated by the minute. He felt a tingling at the back of his neck and a soft musical sound began to ring in his ears. He shook his head trying to get rid of this annoying feeling.

The chancellor in front of him was still raging about the Herald of Andraste, and he was really tempted to silence the man with a punch in the face. But he kept an iron grip on his rising anger.

As the door swung open behind him he turned annoyed to see who disturbed them now.

“What...” he was silenced immediately

A tall women with shining deep red curly hair stood suddenly before him. He looked her up and down in surprise. 

She was not as tall as he was but almost reached up to his chin. Her tightly fitting leather clothes emphasised her well formed figure, he remembered how she had felt in his arms as he carried her away from the Temple of Secret Ashes. Soft and fragile yet strong. 

Her skin was of a soft brownish colour not as pale as he had seen it before and her slightly feline eyes with the full black eyelashes were now open. He looked into her dark blue eyes so deep he could lose himself in them. Her face showed no emotions but her eyes were filled with them. Surprise, confusion, anger, sorrow, and deep deep down, pain, a pain that matched his own deeply hidden within his soul. He was unable to move or speak, held captive by her unwavering gaze.

He wanted to say something but couldn't, suddenly wondering what she might see in his eyes but, still, he couldn't look away. He did not want to look away...

She blinked suddenly and the moment was gone, as she opened her eyes again they were pale blue and burning with ice.

He was shocked of the sudden transformation and that brought him back to reality.  
“Chain her!” Chancellor Rodderick addressed the guards at door on either side of her “I want her prepared for travel to the capital for trail.”

Cullen saw her tense, the song in his ears growing louder more fierce he reacted without thinking.

Stepping between her and the hesitating guards 

“Disregard that.” he ordered.

The guards looked at him with gratitude. They obviously did not want to take the Herald of Andraste into custody. They had seen first hand what she was capable of at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. 

“Leave us alone. We need to talk to the Herald.” 

Chancellor Rodderick started to protest but Cullen silenced him with a glare.

“Take the Chancellor out with you” his tone left no room for discussion.”

This time the guards acted immediately. Gripping the Chancellor on either side they shoved him out of the room ignoring his outraged cries. 

“Thank you Cullen” Cassandra said simply “I was about to punch him”

Cullen smiled at her “So was I”

“ Sorry to Interrupt this....whatever this is...but could someone please explain this Herald of Andraste nonsense to me” a light lilting voice said behind Cullen.

He turned to look at her, she had relaxed a bit but her pale blue eyes had lost nothing of its fire.  
She stepped around him and stood facing all three of them.

“The People believe the Maker send you to us in our darkest hour. You closed the Rift and saved us all” Cassandra said simply.

“So you think I'm what? Holy?Me? A Mage of all things?” she laughed but there was no humour in her voice. “That is...ridiculous”

“The People believe it and we did not actually stop this believe from spreading” Leliana said.

“Great” she said with a sigh. “So you no longer believe I was responsible for the explosion?”

“No” said Cassandra “We don't.. not after we heard the voices at the temple, you came to help Divine Justinia”

“Someone else was behind the explosion..someone who might yet live” added Leliana.

“ So what now?” the Herald asked.

“The breach remains” said Leliana “ And your Mark is still our only hope of closing it...we need your help Herald”

“Don't call me that....my name is Kirana Trevelyan....Kira that is.” she said quietly..she sighed again

Cassandra put a heavy looking book on the table in front of them.

“This is a writ from the Divine, granting us the authority to act. As of this moment I declare the Inquisition reborn.” she said. “We will close the Breach, we will find those responsible and we will restore order...with or without the chantrys approval.”

The Herald looked at the book in front of her...her expression unreadable.

“This is the Divines directive: Rebuild the Inquisition of old, find those who will stand against the chaos.” Leliana said looking directly at the Herald.”We are not ready, we have no leader, no numbers and now no chantry support.”

Cassandra took a step forward. “We have no choice. We must act now....with you at our side”

All three of them watched the Herald attentively now. She did not move nor did she look up. She just stood there silent as stone. 

After several moments she looked up pale blue eyes examining first Leliana then Cassandra and finally her eyes met his again.

“What if I refuse?” she asked in an unreadable tone of voice her eyes never leaving his. He knew their was something important behind that simple question. If they answered wrong...

“You can go if you wish.” answered Leliana.

“You should know that while some believe you chosen, many still think you guilty” added Cassandra.” The Inquisition can only protect you if you are with us..”

Cullen both saw and felt the anger rising up in her...that went wrong...he needed to say something, but what?

He spoke without thinking:

“Many lives depend on us. On you. If the Breach remains, many innocent people will die...please Lady Trevelyan, we need you...we..please help us.” he bowed his head in respect.

She looked surprised at his words and gesture.

“All right...since you asked nicely..especially for a Templar...I will help you close the breach.”

Cassandra smiled at her and Leliana nodded her approval.

“And who are you anyway? I think I remember you standing in front of me at the battlefield. Can't recall your name though..or should I just call you “Templar”. She said in an mocking tone of voice smiling coldly at him.

Cullen looked up at her again..he had hoped her behaviour towards him on the battlefield was just out of stress, now however, he knew she was just another of those mages who disliked him on principal. He suppressed a sigh. 

“This is Commander Cullen Rutherford” Cassandra introduced him after a moment of tensed silence looking from one to the other.

“Leader of the Inquisition Forces and former Knight-Captain of the Templar Order in Kirkwall.”

The Heralds smile vanished completely she just stared at him. “Kirkwall...Knight-Captain Rutherford....I heard the stories...good for you we play in the same team...for now” she said in a clipped tone of voice.

..this couldn't get any worse now. He thought.

“I'll leave you to your work then” she said turning on her heels and walking out of the room without another glance back.

Cassandra and Leliana looked at each other in surprise then at Cullen.

“Lucky for us you didn't mention Kinloch Hold...” he said darkly looking at Cassandra.

“I wasn't aware that...” she began then stopped when Leliana cleared her throat.

“Maybe I should have told you both..before...” Leliana said a little apologetic.” I wasn't sure how she would react to our freakishly handsome Commander..there was a chance that...” She looked at Cullen. He just looked down at her his brows furrowed...not amused.

Leliana sighed deeply “Alright...I sum it up for you”

“Lady Trevelyan developed her Magic very early...she was six at the time. Her family is devoted deeply to the Chantry and to discover that their first born daughter is a mage shocked them to the core. Her father send immediately for the Templars and they tore the crying girl out of her mothers arms to take her to the Circle of Magi. They never visited her. As far as I heard, Lord Trevelyan even went so far as to declare he had no daughter.”

“Makers breath” Cullen hissed. Cassandra took in a sharp breath. 

He couldn't help himself but imagine a very young Kirana Trevelyan, with soft red curls falling around her shaking shoulders and tears streaming down her deep blue eyes, while the Templars dragged her away from her mother. He closed his eyes to shake the image when Leliana went on.

“She was brought to the Ostwick Circle...she was a...difficult child...to say the least...very powerful from the beginning and not, very happy.... and it got even worse when she grew up to be a Teenager. She tried several times to flee the Circle but never got far before the Templars cached her, it is a miracle, that she was not tranquillised then.”

“What about the Incident with the Templar that Rodderick mentioned” Cullen asked suddenly.

Leliana looked up at him, clenching and unclenching her delicate long fingers, she looked to Cassandra once then sighed again. “If you really want to know...I...”

Cullen nodded “Yes, you better tell us.”

“I'd rather you ask her yourself but I'm sure she wouldn't answer.” she said adjusting her hood and drawing a dagger out of the hidden sheath between her shoulder blades. Idly fidgeting the wicked looking blade, more to occupy her hands than anything else.

“She was caught by the Knight-Commander and several Templars and Mages when she attacked a young Templar named Godrick Lanson. She was shaking and tried to stab him with a knife. He had her phylactery in his hands and claimed she wanted to destroy it with blood magic...he had a reputation of...not being very respectful towards his charges. When asked she said, that he was the one who came to her with the phylactery and that he used it to...I am sure you can imagine what he could do to her with the phylactery Cullen.” she looked up from her knife to meet his eyes.

Cassandra gasped clutching a hand to her throat. She also knew.

Cullen flinched. 

He knew, the phylactery of a mage is not only a mere tool to find and catch a mage, it can also be used to inflict pain. horrible pain. He had seen it only once while in Kirkwall...

They had cached a fleeing mage and his Templar brother used the phylactery to keep the mage down screaming in agony while Cullen bonded his arms and feet. The thought of it sickened him, even then, to think that a Templar would use it on one of his charges for no reason...on...her.

He closed his eyes fighting a wave of nausea.

“What happened next?” he asked his voice strained.

“The Knight-Commander did not believe her. She was accused of attacking the Templar and there was talk about her being tranquillised...but then the Circles rebelled. She was last seen fighting her way out of the circle with as many young mages as she could gather, children and teenagers. She was seen several times with them on the road, at last heading to the conclave...but she arrived alone. Her clothes where torn and bloody...and she was....angry...very angry. No one knows what happened to the children...” 

Leliana broke off. Cassandra was pale still clutching her throat. She shook her head.

He could barley keep his anger under control, no wonder she hated the Templars, he remembered her deep blue eyes and the pain he had seen. This was another reason he could add to the growing pile of, why he had left, the Templars.

“We need to end this War” he said determined reaching unconsciously for his sword hilt clutching it tightly.

“To Work”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading


	4. An awkward little dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kira and Cullen staring down the Chancellor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments and Kudos and everything. This is so much fun. Enjoy reading.
> 
>  
> 
> Also I edited the first 3 Chapters, thanks to Talena_Mae for pointing out my exsesive use of ellipsises... things. Hope it's better now.

Cullen had seen the Herald only once before she departed for the Hinterlands to meet with Mother Giselle. It was rather uncomfortable. They stood in the war room with as much space between them as they could muster. She didn't look at him once and he kept quite for the most part of the discussion.

 

He read the reports they send and was impressed with the way she handled the refuges, the rebel Mages and the rough Templars. She actually convinced some of the Mages and Templars to join the Inquisition. He had no idea how she managed that. He only received a short massage written in a neat penmanship saying.

 

Commander,

 

got recruits, need watchtowers. Send workers to build. Otherwise no horses.

 

-K

 

It was probably the shortest of all massages he had ever received since he began working for the Inquisition.

 

He thought about a way to address her, they needed to get along after all, when one of his officers came running into the tent.

“Commander” he stopped to take a breath hands resting on his knees “Trouble at the Chantry” he was panting heavily “The Mages and Templars...sir”

He did not need to hear more. He rushed out of the tent and up to the Chantry.

“This had to happen of course” he muttered under his breath.

He could see the crowd gathering in front of the Chantry. Angry voices cut through the cold mountain air. He needed to intervene before this could escalate. He strode up the stairs and through the crowd.

“Your kind killed the Most Holy” a blond Templar shouted at a bold headed Mage in front of him.

“Lies” the Mage retorted with a sneer. “Your kind let her die” he almost spat the words at the Templar.

“Shut your mouth Mage” he reached for his sword.

“Enough” Cullen boomed with his commanding voice. He pushed the two combatants aside and placed himself, solid as a rock, between them.

The Templar looked up at him in surprise. “Knight-Captain” he took a step back.

Cullen rounded on the blond Templar looking fierce.

“That is _not_ my Title”he exclaimed “We are _not_ Templars any longer”

He turned to the crowed addressing them directly.

“We are _all_ part of the Inquisition. We need to set an example, not tear each other to pieces”

“And what does that mean exactly?” a new but all to familiar voice added.

Cullen drew himself up to his full hight facing down at the approaching Chancellor. He felt a familiar tingling on his skin and a soft sound of music on the edge of his conciousness.

“Back already Chancellor. Haven't you done enough?” he could not keep the resentment for this man of his voice.

“I'm curious, Commander, as to how the Inquisition and your “Herald” will restore order as you've promised” he continued utterly unimpressed by Cullens choice of tone.

Cullen shifted his hand toward the pommel of his sword, clutching it tightly, otherwise he feared he would strangle this...pompous Chantry douchebag.

“Of course you are” he said scornfully.

He felt her presence before he could see her.

He already figured out that this soft sound of music he heard in the back of his mind came from her. He thought it might come from the mark on her hand, but he wasn't entirely sure about that. Maybe it was something else - her magic perhaps - maybe he had enough Lyrium left in his blood to sense it, though he had never actually heard magic before, he had heard storys from other Templars...

“Come out to play with me again Chancellor” he heard her soft and lightly musical voice behind his back. He couldn't help the smile tucking at his lips as he felt her stepping in beside him.

“This will be good” he thought amused and a little relieved that this time her icy pale blue eyes stared at the Chancellor and not at him.

As he had expected the Chancellor took an involuntary step back from both of them.

He considered sending the crowd back to work but decided against it...for the moment at least.

Maybe they need to see this, maybe they need to see their Commander, a former Templar, and their Herald, a Mage, staring down this pompous lump of...

“Templars and Mages were already at war. Now they are blaming each other for the Divines dead. This needs to stop, we need to work together..” he hoped she would catch the meaning behind his words.

“Which is why we require a _proper_ authority to guide them back to order” the Chancellor interrupted.

He felt her shift beside him, he knew that the words of the Chancellor hit a wound spot. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

“Back to order?” she asked dangerously quite. “You mean chain the Mages and drag them back to their Circles to look them up like little puppets.” she hissed.

This was definitely a bad idea. He was about to raise his voice to send the crowd of onlookers away when she spoke again. This time loud and clear.

“And the Templars too? To chain them with your Lyrium leash to bend to your will until they die of Lyrium madness.” she looked now at the group of Templars huddling near the door of the Chantry listening to her every word.

He stopped breathing.

“How does...does she know I'm..” he thought bewildered.

Her gaze swept over the crowd in front of her, her pale eyes looking fierce she continued with passion and determination in her voice.

“The Inquisition is not here to repeat the mistakes of the past. We are no longer bound by the Chantry. We are free to choose our own path, to decide if we want to be enemys for the rest of our miserable and short lives, or bond together to fight the real threat looming above our heads, which the Chantry utterly ignores in their strife to keep what little power they have left.”

She actually spat at the Chancellors feet, cheers began to rise from the crowd around them.

Chancellor Roderick looked like he was send to the fade and came back in pieces. He was trembling with rage, and fear Cullen guessed, his face was as white as a linen sheet, hands clenched into fists.

Cullen could barley keep himself from laughing out loud and cheer with the others around him.

He could kiss her right now, he would, if he wasn't so sure she would set his hair on fire.

For the first time he was very proud to have this woman at his side, although he knew Josephine will faint immediately when she heard of this.

He did not care in this moment, not even a bit.

“Commander, remind me why we allow the Chancellor to stay in Haven” Kira said coldly turning to look up at him with her pale blue eyes.

“Clearly _your_ Templar knows where to draw the line....” the Chancellor sneered back at her.

He wanted to say something else but was silenced immediately when she turned very quickly to face him again.

She looked like a cat ready to pounce.

Cullen heard the music in his mind change, becoming fierce and dangerously low. He acted out of instinct.

Placing a hand on her shoulder holding her back. She flinched at the touch letting out a very low feral growl.

“Everyone back to your duties” he commanded. “Take the Chancellor with you” he looked over to the nearest soldiers standing beside him.

The crowd suspended.

He knew he was in trouble before she straightened again.

He felt an electric surge running through his hand up to his shoulder. He drew his hand away immediately.

“Commander?” she asked still in that low dangerous voice while turning around to face him.

“Haven't I told you not to touch me?”

Her eyes burned as she looked up at him.

He wanted to back away but decided this was not an option. There could still be people watching. And he didn't want to look frightened by her, he still had some pride left after all.

“I'm..ah” he cleared his throat and tried again. “I apologize My Lady.”

She just stood there, silently watching him, taking deep steady breath.

He really felt uncomfortable now with her just mere inches away from him.

Then she turned and made her way down to the Tavern, speaking over her shoulder she said:

“Lucky for you Commander, I promised Cassandra not to kill any Templars who joined the Inquistion,” she flicked her hand in a swift gesture.

“But next time I set your breeches on fire” she turned towards him again, wickedly smiling.

”Instead of your boots” she added.

_“She wouldn't...”_

He thought looking down at his feet.

“Makers Breath”

He exclaimed jumping quickly to extinguish the merry little flame, licking on his right boot.

He heard her laughing while she walked down to the Tavern, followed by his whispered curses, while he danced an awkward little dance.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After another cullen pov I think we should next take a peak into Kiras head for a change.


	5. Inner conflict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiras inner conflict.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go, this turned out better than I thought it would.

Kira sat on a large wooden box near the forge, her back resting against the wooden wall behind her, feet dangling idly beside the rough wood of her makeshift chair. She was thinking, hard, or rather trying not to think of a _certain_ Templar.

She had only one day left before her party would venture down to Val Royeaux to address the Chantry.

She didn't like the idea. Not even a bit. For all she cared they could rot in the fade, with their rules and Circles and Templars.

Her eyes flickered over to where Commander Cullen was instructing the new Templar recruits she had brought from the Hinterlands.

She would have gladly wiped them out every single one of them. She nearly did.

But she had promised Cassandra to spare those who would surrender and she keeps her promises.

Always.

She let out an exasperated sigh and turned away from him facing the Breach instead.

She remembered the day before when she stood beside the Commander and held her cunning little speech in front of the Templars and Mages.

She really meant what she said that day, she wanted the war to end, she wanted peace and quite and a happy live for everyone, even the Templars. She new that not every Templar was like the ones she had encountered most of her life, some of them _had to_ be nice, otherwise the Circles would have rebelled much sooner, but still, it was hard for her to accept them.

She grunted and turned again to look at the Commander.

He _was_ quite handsome, for a Templar. She looked at him more closely, he was very tall even for a warrior, and these soft blond curls of his, she really wanted to know how they would feel between her fingers, if he wasn't a Templar....but no.

He _was_ a Templar and _nothing_ would change that.

She turned away again.

She really needed to get along with him, he _was_ the Leader of the Inquisition Forces after all, maybe she shouldn't have set his boot on fire.... _No_ he deserved that one.

And it wasn't sooo bad actually, he didn't seem angry with her. He definitely seem not to be frightened by her, cautious maybe, not frightened...she liked that.

She smiled.

She also liked his eyes, those golden eyes. Warm and soft.

The moment she went into the war room and saw them, _really_ saw them for the first time. It felt like... bathing in the sun.

No one had ever looked at her like this before.

They all looked frightened or angry or annoyed, sometimes even disgusted.

In another world maybe she would... _no_.

She stood up and started to pace back and forth in front of the smithy.

_She wouldn't..._

_He_ was in Kirkwall, _he_ stood beside that _mad bitch_ of a Knight-Commander, _he_ did nothing to stop her insane strife to power, _he_ was her second in command, _he_ could have stopped her...surely.

_He_ was no _better_ than the rest oft this.... _lot_.

The all to familiar rage began to boil inside of her.

She embraced it.

It felt _good_ to be angry at him, much better that way.

She turned again face down and was stopped dead in her furious pacing , as she suddenly ran into a metal wall.

She looked up, clearly annoyed, to meet a pair of warm gold rimmed eyes.

Her anger dissolved immediately, like smoke, leaving her feeling vulnerable standing so close to him. She could feel his breath on her face, warm and sweet. She could feel the warmth radiating from his body, washing over her like waves of sunlight. She needed to get away from him... _now_.

She took a step back, feeling instantly cold again. She shivered under his steady gaze. _Had he seen?_

A smile tugged at the scar on his upper lip. She hadn't even noticed it before.

She really wanted to be angry again. She didn't like this new feeling spreading in her stomach, it scared her. She did not like to be scared, not this way.

She tried to shoot him her deadliest glare. To make him go away and leave her standing in the cold...alone.

He seemed unimpressed even amused.

That was enough. How _dare_ he looked at her like this, how _dare_ he was standing in front off her, warm and perfect, how _dare_ he made her feel _vulnerable._

The anger rose again, not as strong as before but it was enough to shield herself with it _._

On a sudden impulse she tried to shove him out of her way, but that felt more like trying to move a mountain.

She let out an exasperated grunt.

“How dare you be so... unmoveable” she shoot at him.

Not waiting for an answer she turned and strode off quickly heading for the lake.

Next time she set his hair on fire she swore to herself. But now she needed to cool off and shake this feeling of uneasiness.

\---

Cullen was still smiling, as he watched the Herald stomp off toward the lake. He didn't know why he had approached her in the first place.

He had been watching her over the training field, while tending to his recruits.

She seemed restless, troubled.  
When she finally started pacing around, like a caged lion, he thought it would be better to go over and see what she was up to. He didn't want her to do something...  
_unexpected_  
.  
He had deliberately stepped into her track, he didn't know why, maybe he wanted some kind of revenge for his ruined boot.  
He knew it wouldn't be wise to anger her, but couldn't resist the notion. She seemed so lost in her own thought. Her reaction, when she finally ran, head down, into him,   
_was_  
unexpected.

Her eyes, the usual pale blue, turned into the deep shade of blue, he once saw in the war room.

He wondered why.

Varric came up beside him, looking after the Herald

“Figured it out hm, curly?” he said chuckling.

“Figured out what?” Cullen asked, raising an eyebrow at the dwarfs question.

“Our dear Herald is not as frightening as she may seem on first sight, of course she is powerful and fierce and on occasions cold blooded...” he cleared his throat meaningfully. “What I want to say is, she can be very...” he searched for a word to describe her.

“Cute?” Cullen offered, smiling. _Why had he said that?_

“Exactly” Varrics face was caught up in a wide grin.

“She is warm and caring and tries to protect everyone around her, not many people get to see her like this, of course” Varric sighed heavily.” A shame, really”

Cullen smiled “Varric, did you know that, she set my boots on fire?”

Varric began to laugh, a low deep rumbling in his chest. “That means she likes you.”

“Really?” Cullen asked both eyebrows raised now, sounding doubtful.

“Of course, if she disliked you she set some, more sensitive parts, on fire, believe me, I saw her doing it, not my fondest memory to be sure.” Varric answered truthfully.

They both stood silent for a while.

“How did she manage to persuade the rough Templars into joining the Inquisition?” Cullen asked suddenly. “The reports haven't been very clear on the subject.”

Varric looked up at him again, the setting sun cast deep shadows over the dwarfs rough face.

“Persuade is not really the right description for what happened in the Templar Encampment. Do you really want to know?” Varric asked him in a very serious tone of voice.

“Yes” Cullen said

Varric closed his eyes, thinking.

“ I'll give you the short version.” He decided.

“She stormed into the Encampment, demanding them to yield, they laughed, she started ripping them apart one by one, they stopped laughing and yielded. That's it.”

“And the long version?” Cullen asked.

“ I will never tell the long version, curly. No one will, too bloody.” Varric said shortly.

They stood silent again, caught up in their own thoughts.

“We have grown very fond of her in the past few weeks” Varric said suddenly, after a few moments had passed he added. “Never ask her about the children though.”

“I didn't intent to.” Cullen said quietly. “Have you..?”

Varric shook his head “Cassandra did...once.” he tilted his head to look at the sky.

“She didn't answer, she just stared into the campfire, later that night she woke up screaming, it was....I don't want to talk about it.” Varric turned away from him “Don't know why I even mentioned it” clearing his throat “Thought you should know.”

He started moving up to the town.

“Now go after her, make sure she doesn't see you, you wouldn't want to miss this.” he said over his shoulder.

“Miss what?” Cullen asked surprised.

“I won't tell, see for yourself.” Varric chuckled again, and left him standing alone with his thoughts in the light of the setting sun.

 


	6. The Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kira is dancing on the lake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one. Hope I got it right.

Cullen wasn't sure what to expect when he went after the Herald. He trusted Varric though, if he thought he should follow to see “this” whatever “this” is he would do so.

As he came closer to the lake he ducked and went on as silently as he could.

He felt her presence in front of him and stooped looking carefully around a tree.

He saw her standing at the lake, bare feet touching the water.

He crouched low beside the tree and settled himself in a comfortable position, watching her intently, he didn't know what to expect.

How could he have known.

She stood silently and unmoving for a long time, her new staff made of silverite glittering in the setting sunlight, it seemed she was waiting for something.

When she finally moved it was a graceful motion. She stepped forward swinging the staff over her head, the tip came to life with a soft glittering blue.

She moved the staff in slow swirling motions around her body, while her feet fell in an intricate line of graceful steps.

She swirled around bringing the tip of the staff close to the water surface. When she turned again, swinging the staff around her arching body a thin line of water followed the tip of the staff.

It moved around her arching higher with every motion.

Her steps became faster, longer, even more intricate, while her body twists and turns in harmony with the soft swirling line.

Fire breaks from the tip of her fingers, softly licking around her hand and leaving a warm glow around her every move.

The water around her moving feet begins to glitter like a thousand little fireflys.

She begins to swirl in wider and wider circles around the lake, tracing the water and fire behind her, around her, the elements seem to embrace her, moving with her into an utterly beautiful dance.

Her eyes are the deepest shade of blue, a single tear running down her cheek.

The thin line of water begins to freeze, arching beautiful around her.

She stops moving, the thin line of ice shatters into a thousand tiny little pieces, falling around her, catching the rest of the sunlight shimmering in every colour there is.

 

He watched her silently.

After she finished her dance he rose to his feet, silently walking back up to the town, to caught up in his own thoughts to recognise anything around him.

This night he slept deeply and peacefully, dreaming of water and ice and fire and...deep blue eyes.


	7. Val Royeaux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kira, Varric and Cassandra enter Val Royeaux to address the Chantry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This came out much longer than I expected.

They arrived in Val Royaeux about noon. The City was bathed in sunlight, its marble walls to bright to look at, the golden lion statues glittering.

Kira had never seen anything so beautiful before, it was simply stunning.

She was suddenly torn out of her thoughts, when she heard someone shriek beside her. She turned to look at the woman, just to see her running away through the gates.

“Just a guess, Seeker, but I think they all know who we are” said Varric beside her.

“Your skills of observation never fails to impress me, Varric” Cassandra answered dryly.

Kira chuckled.

She loved the way Varric shot witty remarks at the Seeker, mostly about “dragging him down from Kirkwall to the Conclave”, and she loved the way Cassandra always retorted with that dry humour of hers.

She thought about it for a moment, she really _loved_ them. They are her _friends,_ she realised. Maybe the first she'd ever had.

Feeling suddenly very happy, she smiled warmly at both of them, they smiled back at her, rather suspicious.

“What?” Varric asked cautious.

“Oh no nothing, just realised something, that's all” Kira said, still smiling.

He nodded, still looking suspicious.

“Do you remember your promise?” Cassandra asked.

Kira rolled her eyes at her “Of course I do.” she said with a sigh.

“I will not use magic while in the City.

I will not set someone on fire because he unnerves me.

I will be a happy and polite “Herald of what ever nonsense they believe”

...satisfied?” she asked trying to look as innocent as she could muster.

Varric laughed and Cassandra rolled her eyes.

“Let's get this over with” Cassandra said reaching up to pinch her nose “The sooner the better.”

“ You know pumpkin, we are just trying to make them see what a wonderful person you are.” Varric said enthusiastic, looking up at her.

Suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of affection for the little dwarf, she placed a cool hand gently on his cheek, smiling down at him.

“I know Varric, thank you.” she said simply her voice brimming with unspoken emotions.

The dwarf blinked and blushed, looking away.

“Anytime, pumpkin.” he said quietly and a little embarrassed.

“My Lady Herald” someone called.

She turned to see one of the Inquisitions Scouts walking up to them. She was panting slightly as if she's been running before. The Scout stopped in front of her, dropping to one knee. Kira never got used to that behaviour. Before should could say anything though, Cassandra spoke:

“You are one of Leliana's people. What have you found?”

The Scout looked up to Cassandra “ The Chantry Mothers await you, but...so do a great many Templars.” she said nervously.

Kira tensed immediately “Templars” she hissed. “ There are Templars here?”

Varric reached up to lay a hand soothingly around her wrist.

“People think the Templars will protect them from...” The Scout looked even more nervous now “..from the Inquisition” she concluded finally, raising to her feet

“They are gathering on the other side of the market” she went on “I think that's where the Templars intent to meet you.”

“They wish to protect the people from us?” Cassandra asked slightly angry now.

“No” Kira said quietly “From _me_.” she looked at the strange Mark on her hand.

When she looked up again, her pale eyes burned with determination.

“They can certainly try” she said with an obvious threat in her cool voice.

Without another word she strode off, toward the market.

“ We don't want a pitched battle in the middle of Val Royaeux” Cassandra shouted after her, while Varric tried to catch up to the Herald

“That's their choice, isn't it” She shouted back over her shoulder.

Cassandra turned to the Scout “Return to Haven, someone needs to inform the others if we are..” she looked back over her shoulder “delayed.”

“As you say My Lady” the Scout replied and hurried out of the City.

\----

Cassandra was hurrying after the Herald as fast as she could, without raising to much attention. She feared the worst. She did not know, if Kira would keep her promises, now that the Templars showed up.

She spotted her in the middle of a crowd. Standing, in front of a makeshift wooden podium.

The Revered Mother was addressing the crowd in front of her.

“Together we morn our Divine, her naïve and beautiful heart silenced by Treachery!”

“Oh maker no” Cassandra thought, starting to push her way through the crowd to reach the Herald.

“You wonder what will become of her murderer, well, wonder no more” the Revered Mother continued.

Cassandra began to shove the people roughly out of the way, she was almost there.

“Behold the so-called Herald of Andraste! Claiming to rise where our beloved fell.”

Cassandra finally reached the Herald, letting out a sigh of relieve.

Kira stood, head high and proud in front of the Revered Mother. Her face was calm and relaxed, her eyes though, burned with an unquenchable flame.

“We say this is a false Prophet, the Maker would send no _Mage_ in our hour of need.” the Revered Mother concluded looking down at the Herald.

Cassandra reached out to grab one of Kira's wrists and noted that Varric standing on the other side did the same. Kira clenched her hands into fists, but her face still remained untouched of the anger boiling inside of her.

“Of Course not” Kira raised her voice to address the crowd. “The Maker would never send a Mage like me, like he would never sent a Mage like the Hero of Fereldan or the Champion of Kirkwall. Both fighting for the good of their people, both risking their lives to save others.”

She looked around, letting her fiery gaze run over their faces.

“And all the Chantry can do is denounce us, shun us, spreading fear and lies in the heart of the people.” she looked up, locking eyes with the Revered Mother.

“You say I am the Enemy. The Breach in the sky is our _true_ Enemy. We must unite to stop it” she said in voice full of passion.

Cassandra looked at the Herald, she was proud to stand beside such a remarkable woman, she took a deep breath and addressed the crowd herself.

“It's true! The Inquisition seeks only to end this madness before it's too late!”

Whispers rose around them. Heads turned.

“It is already to late” said the Revered Mother pointing over the crowd at the oncoming Templars. The crowd split to let them through.

“The Templars have returned to the Chantry. They will face this “Inquisition” and the people will be save once more!”

The Templars stepped onto the podium. One of them suddenly raised his fist and knocked the Revered Mother to the ground.

Kira lunged forward.

Cassandra could barely hold her back. She heard Varric's feet skidding a few inches over the stones, as he tried, with both hands, to keep a hold on Kira's wrist.

“Pumpkin, relax” she heard him whisper through clenched teeth's.

“What is the meaning of this?” she heard Kira shout in the directions of the Templars.

Cassandra knew Kira didn't like the Chantry and their Revered Mothers one bit, but she wasn't surprised of her sudden will to protect the poor woman laying defenceless on the podium.

_She cares so much for the people around her, why couldn't they just see it._

She heard the Lord Seekers voice.

“A claim to “Authority” is an Insult. Much like your own”

“Lord Seeker Lucius, it's imperative that we speak with-” Cassandra began.

“You will not address me” the Lord Seeker interrupted her.

Cassandra looked at him, stunned. She released Kira and stepped forward “Lord Seeker?”

“Creating a heretical movement, raising up a puppet as Andraste's Prophet. You should be ashamed.” the Lord Seeker said with a voice full of contempt.

Cassandra heard Varric wheeze with the, obvious effort, to keep Kira at bay.

“You should all be ashamed! The Templars failed no one when they left the Chantry to purge the Mages!”

Cassandra heard an ominous crackling sound behind her back, and turned just in time to lay a hand over Kira's open palm, clutching it tightly, she extinguished the oncoming magic with her own Seeker ability's.

“Don't Kira, there are too many, think off the innocent people all around.” Kira looked coldly into her eyes. “I'm sorry, I had no time to stop you otherwise, forgive me.” Kira's eyes softened slightly and she nodded.

Cassandra turned again towards the Lord Seeker. No one seemed to have noticed.

“If you came to appeal to the Chantry, you are too late. The only destiny that demands respect is _mine_.”

“Let them go.” she heard Kira's voice behind her.

“Templars!”Cassandra shouted, _she had to try at least_. “One of your own commands the Inquisition Forces, join us, as Cullen did.”

Some of the Templars looked up at the mention of Cullen's name.

One of them stepped up to stand beside the Lord Seeker, obviously torn between his will to serve the people and his duties as a Templar.

Cassandra knew that look, she had seen it on Cullen's face when she recruited him in Kirkwall. Maybe there was a chance to persuade them after all.

“A staunch and loyal member of the Order. So loyal, he abandoned them for this petty Mage of yours.” The Lord Seeker scoffed. “He is a shame for all _true_ Templars”

Cassandra heard Varric's muffled cry, she started to turn, but it was already to late.

Kira rushed past her and lunged herself at the Lord Seeker.

She was caught, mid air, by the young Templar standing beside the Lord Seeker.

Hanging over his shoulder she spat curses into the direction of the Lord Seeker.

To Cassandra's astonishment, and relief, the Templar seemed equally surprised by his actions.

He looked at Cassandra in puzzlement but kept the Herald safely away from the Lord Seeker, more to protect her than the Lord Seeker it seemed.

“You know nothing of loyalty you filthy scum of a tin can!” Kira raged at him. “Cullen joined the Inquisition to protect the people around him, all of them, including petty little Mages like me!”

She struggled again to get out of the young Templars grip, but it was useless, he held her in a steely embrace thrown halfway over his broad shoulder.

“ That's what the Templars were supposed to do, isn't it? Protect!” she shouted directly into their stunned faces, raising an arm and pointing at the Breach, faintly visible, in the sky.

“Look at this, and tell me, it is not your duty as Templars to protect the people from this kind of magic! Decide for yourself, we are leaving in the morning.” she said her voice trembling with fury.

She faced the Lord Seeker again. “ And no one has the right, to insult my Commander, in front of me” she hissed at him.

“You have shown me nothing” The Lord Seeker addressed her now directly “And the Inquisition...less than nothing.”

“Templars!” he raised his voice to a shout “Val Royeaux is unworthy of our protection! We march!”

He turned at let the Tamplars out of the City. Most of them.

_A few of the Templars stayed behind_ , Cassandra noticed, including the young Templar, still holding Kira clutched over his shoulder.

Cassandra stepped towards him, Varric at her side.

“Who are you?” she asked, not to politely.

“Ser Delrin Barris, Seeker Cassandra, at your service.” the young Templar answered.

“You better let our Dear Lady Herald down now lad, before she decides to burn your ass off.” Varric said with a broad grin.

Ser Barris dropped Kira immediately, but she didn't even look at them. She hurried right over to the podium, where the Revered Mother still lay, hand clutched behind her head in obvious pain.

“What is she doing?” Ser Barris asked suspicious.

“Enjoy the show.” Varric chuckled.

Kira dropped down to her knees beside the Revered Mother, she placed her hands on either side of the woman's head, before she could protest. A faint green glow began to light between her fingers, when she released the healing magic. She looked down into the woman's wide blue eyes.

“I am not the monster you are trying to make of me.” she said very softly. “Maybe one day you understand.”

She rose to her feet and walked away without another word.

“Welcome to the Inquisition” Varric said to Ser Barris.

 


	8. Pranks and Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen and Kira having a real conversation.

They argued, a lot, like _all_ the time, since she returned from Val Royeaux. Sometimes he thought she took the opposite position just to _annoy_ him. No, he was _sure_ of that.

It even got worse when she teamed up with that queer, little, and overly annoying elf she found somewhere between Val Royeaux and Haven.

Cassandra said something about an arrow, or red gloves, he didn't really listen to her, he was to busy wringing out his wet surcoat, murmuring curses under his breath.

They had managed to catch him off guard one morning, after a very long night with very little sleep, due to his nightmares.

He was to drowsy to recognize the tripwire in front of his tent. When he felt the resistance against his boot it was already to late, the water poured down on his head in an icy shower, followed closely by the bucket containing it. He saw both, mischievous, women standing near the entrance to the town, roaring with laughter. When he took a step towards them, they fled, still shaking with laughter.

They even managed to slip ink into his honeyed wine, before they left for a short trip to the Storm Coast, to talk to someone named “The Iron Bull”.

He had to run around a whole week with blackened teeth.

Leliana and Josephine could barley stop giggling whenever they met in the war room. Next time, he swore, he would slip ink into their tea, see if that would put an end to their snickering.

The Lady Herald had just returned from her journey, tailed by a massive Qunari with horns shaped like a Bull's and a stout looking Warden named Blackwall.

Madam de Fer had arrived the day before, on invitation of the Inquisition, but he strongly doubted that this was Kira's...The Heralds... idea. He suspected Josephine's hand in this matter.

Thinking about the Herald, she looked different that day, worn out, black circles under her pale blue eyes, no clever remark on her tongue, no wicked grin on her lips.

She hadn't even called him “Captain-metal-breeches”, her knew favourite nickname for him, Sera's idea no doubt. She only nodded shortly in his direction, when he greeted her and went off to her little cot without another word.

Too caught up in his own mind, he nearly missed the suspiciously vibrating tent cloth behind him, someone must be twiddling with the tent peg, he suspected. He felt his lips curl into an impish grin. This time, he'll catch that little beast of an elf.

Cullen rose carefully from his desk, making his way around it, as quietly as he could, and he could be very quiet, even dressed in his full armour.

He snuck out of the tent into the cool night air and went swiftly around the corner.

He saw the elf now, still occupied with his tent peg. He crouched low and prowled up to her.

The slender elf was still unaware of his presence. Cullen took a deep but silent breath, then bellowed.

“SERA!”

Sera jumped right out of her skin and shrieked. Cullen tried to get a hold of her, but she was still to fast for him. She jumped back, out of his reach, turned and slid behind another tent. He heard her joyfully laughing now and followed her through the tent camp.

Cullen just saw Sera vanishing behind the trees at the lake, when another figure caught his attention. Kira sat on the wooden pier near the lake. She was facing towards the mountain chain, one leg dangling over the ridge, the other propped up, chin resting on her knee. Cullen gave up his futile pursuit of Sera, and went over to the Herald.

As he reached the pier, he meant to clear his throat to announce his presence, but

“I know you're there, commander.” Kira said in low voice. “You can't sneak up on me.”

Cullen was a bit surprised by that statement.

“If you'd come to berate me about the ”inkident” come back tomorrow and we can have a nice little squabble about proper behaviour, or manners, or...whatever.” she sighed.

Cullen smirked a little, then became serious again. “My Lady Herald...” he began, but she interrupted him.”Not a Lady, not a Herald and certainly not yours.” she said still in that low voice.

“I see” Cullen said “I'll leave you be.” he turned to walk away.

“Wait” Kira said a little louder now. He looked back at her. She had half turned towards him, one hand reaching out for him, her face hidden in the deep shadows of her flaming red hair.

“I mean..ah..” she broke of and turned again to look over the lake.

A soft smile curled up his lips. Following an impulse, he went up to her.

“May I?" Cullen asked before lowering himself down to sit beside her. He was careful to keep a certain distance between them. She nodded slightly, still looking ahead into the night, her pale blue eyes unfocused.

“What's troubling you?” he asked after a while.

“Nothing” she said absently.

“So you just came her to enjoy the view?” he looked up at the star brimming sky.

“I can't sleep” she said after a few heartbeats.

“Nightmares?” he asked softly.

Kira nodded and shifted a little.

“Want to talk about them?” Cullen looked down at her.

“No” she answered. “Do _you_ want to talk about your nightmares?”

He smiled knowingly “No.” then blinked. “How do you know I have nightmares?”

She looked up at him, her pale eyes meeting his. “You always work past midnight and you tend to speak in your sleep.”

Cullen raised his eyebrows at her. “How?..” she looked away suddenly.

“I..ehm..we..the bucket..”Kira stammered.

Cullen began to chuckle, a soft rumbling deep in his chest. He saw that her shoulders were shacking now, with silent giggles.

“You know, you'd looked like one of these tin soldier, standing there, all wet, with the bucket on your head” Kira could no longer hold back the laughter, her clear musical voice drifted over the frozen lake. His heart leaped up with joy at this sound.

“Not funny” Cullen said sternly, trying to suppress his own laughter. Kira looked at him again, tears streaming down her laughing face, she tried to wipe them away with her sleeve.

Cullen had never seen her like this before, happy. If it made her happy he would run around all day with a bucket on his head, he realised.

He almost reached out to cup her cheek with his palm, but thought better of it and ran his fingers awkwardly trough his hair instead. He felt the familiar heat creeping up his neck as he blushed slightly.

The sight of him blushing send another fit of giggles through her body, and she collapsed backwards, unable to hold herself upright anymore. He turned his eyes away from her shaking figure and looked over the lake, a sheepish smile on his lips.

A couple of minutes later, after she had finally stopped giggling, his honey coloured eyes found hers again.

“Did you really attack The Lord Seeker Lucius, because of... what he said about me?”

Cullen didn't really know why he had asked, but he kept looking into her pale blue eyes, lit by soft moonlight, waiting patiently for her to answer.

“I..ehm..I didn't like his attitude” Kira answered evasively, turning away from him.

“I see” he said in an unreadable tone of voice.

She sighed. “He had no right to say these things about you”

Cullen closed his eyes.

They sat silently for a moment, listening to the sounds of the night. The wind blew softly around them, an owl hooted in the distant trees.

“Good night, Commander” Kira said suddenly raising up to her feet.

He opened his eyes again.

She started to walk of toward the gates but stopped before her boots touched the snow beyond the wooden pier.

“Thank you” she whispered softly. She did not turn, nor did she say anything else. She just stood, unmoving, for a moment. Then went on toward the Town.

Cullen watched her until she disappeared through the gates, then he rose up and made his way back to his own tent.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm getting better at this :D
> 
> Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading.


	9. Road to Redcliff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost....

“I'm coming with you” Cullen announced, leading his black warhorse by the reins, approaching the small party of Kira, Varric, Cassandra and to his chagrin Sera.

They had made themselves ready to depart for their journey to Redcliff to meet with the leader of the Mage Rebellion.

Cullen had thought about it a lot. He didn't know exactly why he wanted to join The Herald on this trip, it was just that nagging feeling in his mind that something was wrong with her. She still had dark circles under her eyes and she definitely lost a bit of her sharp tongue, she wasn't eating properly, he could see that, he wouldn't admit that he was worried about her...he was just slightly concerned. She was the Herald after all and they needed her to seal the Breach...and after she almost attacked the Lord Seeker in the middle of Val Royeaux despite the fact that he had an _army_ of Templars standing behind him...no, he wouldn't let her out of his sight again, she was totally unpredictable.

They all turned their heads to look at him now, he could read surprise and...was that amusement in Cassandra's expression? Cullen put on a stern and commanding face, which usually drowned out every objection, it worked perfectly well on his recruits, but obviously did not impress Kira.

“Excuse me?” Kira asked surprised.

“As I said, I am coming with you to Redcliff.” he replied in a calm voice, while mounting his big horse.

He patted the stallions deep black neck fondly, then looked up to meet Kiras pale blue eyes. She looked at him defiantly arms crossed.

“No you are most definitely not.” she retorted in her cool voice.

He had watched her closely the last few days and weeks, and he had learned a lot. She loved staring people down into obedience, if that didn't work (mostly that was quite enough), she started with small threats, that usually did the trick. Cullen noticed that he quite often did the same with his recruits or annoying villagers or.... It always worked out in the end.

The greatest surprise was to discover, with a little help from Varric, that he made her nervous, not in the obvious he is a Templar she is Mage kind of way, no, whenever he looked at her calmly, while she was raging about something, with a smirk on his lips, she grew nervous and stumbled over her own tongue, it was adorable....in a very professional kind of way of course.

She couldn't fool him anymore, he was prepared for this.

“Oh I am, Ser Barris will take over my duties while I am away, everything is settled.” he stated calmly.

Varric began to chuckle and winked at Cullen behind Kiras back, Sera saw that and rolled her eyes. They both began to mount their horses as well. Varric using the wooden fence beside the smithy to get on his horse. Cassandra had already mounted her white mare and waited calmly for them to get on, face hidden in the shadows.

Kira continued to stare at him, face unreadable as usual.

“I order you to stay here Commander, I am not going to take a Templar with me to meet the Mages.” she said in her commanding voice.

“Former Templar” he said and started to ride down the road. The others followed.

“Commander” she shouted behind him. “Get of that horse now, I won't take you with me, I swear I will freeze your ass of that horse!”

He looked back at her over his shoulder, and gave her his sweetest half smile.

“Are you coming Herald, it's a long way.”

“I..eh..I...you...No you...” she threw her arms up in defeat, letting out a frustrated grunt. And mounted her own, brown stallion, all the while muttering vicious curses under her breath.

…

They made good time on their way to the Hinterlands, the roads were saver now that the Inquisition oversaw them. They rode from dusk till dawn and camped usually right beside the road. Kira tended to ignore his presence all together, and he let her have her way. It was easier to keep an eye on her when she ignored him anyway...less bickering.

They sat around the campfire on their third night out on the road, listening to Varric, telling old story's of his adventures with Hawk. Sera was busying herself with the making of new arrows. They looked vicious to Cullen, with a tip made of three small serrated blades which ended in a kind of hook.

“T' pull their innerbittys out their bellybutt'ns.” she said with a mean smirk.

Cassandra practically hung on Varric's lips, she leaned towards him, elbows on her knees and head resting in her hands. The two got along much better since their journey from Kirkwall to Haven, it had been pretty exhausting listening to their bickering all the time, and he had a really hard time to keep himself from strangling both of them.

Cullen was cleaning his armour, adjusting the leather straps and smoothing out little dents, while he was watching Kira sitting silently a little aside from them. Her back resting against a tree trunk, arms wrapped around her legs and chin resting on her knees.

Varric yawned soundly and stretched his arms, drawing Cullen's attention away from Kira's silent brodding.

“I'm off to bed.” Varric said fighting another yawn, looking tiered

Sera put away her arrows and stood up. “Me too.” she said “What 'bout you blinky? She looked at Kira “Let's have some nicy girly time in the tent.” she suggested with a smirk on her face.

“Again?” Kira answered looking up with a dirty little smile on her face. Cullen could feel the heat creeping up his neck, he looked quickly away from her and caught Sera's eyes. She was actually winking at him. Which made it even worse. He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck turning away to collect his armour. Hiding his glowing red cheeks as best he could.

“You go to bed, I'll take the first watch.” Kira said obviously still smiling. Sera let out a little disappointed sigh.

“Good” said Cullen trying to keep his voice even. “I take the second”

Varric volunteered for the third watch and the four of them retreated into their tents.

Cullen went to store his armour in the tent he shared with Varric. The dwarf chuckled slightly, when he entered, but became silent when his eyes caught on something behind Cullen, a frown forming on his features. Cullen followed Varric's worried gaze through the entrance and saw Kira still sitting in the same position as before, the smile had vanished from her lips again.

“Since when is she behaving like this?” he asked Varric.

Varric looked up at him. “I'm not sure, I guess it started when she received a letter from the Grand Enchanter Fiona, with the invitation to speak to the Mages in Redcliff. Looking back, she was actually avoiding going to Redcliff before.” Varric's frown deepened. “We asked her a couple of times, but she would either say that she was quite alright or ignore the question all together.”

“I'll go talk to her.” Cullen decided looking back over his shoulder at her.

“Good luck with that Curly.” the dwarf retorted with a snort, turning to roll out his bedroll.

Cullen sighed slightly, took his sword and went outside to join Kira.

As he reached her, he placed his sword against the tree trunk and dropped down beside her. She didn't even look at him. They sat silently beside each other for several long moments.

“What's bothering you?” he finally asked in a low voice.

“Nothing” she replied shortly

“You said that before, and it isn't true.” he insisted looking down at her. “I've been watching you, you don't eat, you don't sleep, you look pretty awful to be honest... talk.” he ordered with a smile in his voice.

“You've been watching me?” she mumbled into her knees. “Pervert”

He chuckled. “I mean it Kira, talk to me, believe me I _will_ keep asking until you do.”

She looked up at him at the mention of her name, pale blue eyes wide, he realised it was the first time he had ever called her by name. He gave her an encouraging smile and she quickly looked away again. She took a deep breath and sighed.

“Fine.” she answered annoyed.

Cullen shifted a little, settling his arm on the tree trunk behind her, eyes fixed on her face. He could see her tense but she didn't move away from him.

He had never been that close to her before, he realised. He could feel the heat radiating from her body, smell her hair, honey and Crystal Grace, it made his heart pound faster. His gaze swept over her cheek and came to rest on her lips, soft and deep red, he wondered how they would feel against his own. He shook his head slightly, trying to concentrate on something else. This was not the time to think about such things, he chided himself when she finally spoke.

“Have you ever had to tell someone...a friend...that his sister died? that the only family he had left is dead? Because you...” her voice broke, she shut her eyes and took a trembling breath.

He watched her silently for several moments, lost in his own memories. “More than once.”he finally whispered.

“How? How can you...how should I tell her that... I wasn't strong enough to....that I was the one...” she obviously tried very hard to fight back her tears and keep her voice from breaking again. 

She buried her face against her legs, clutching them tightly, she was clearly shaking now.

Cullen fought the urge to gather her up into his arms and hold her tightly pressed against his chest. He new what she was going through right now, he knew that pain, the doubt, the guilt...all too well.

It tore at his heart to see her like this. When she drew in a ragged breath, he couldn't bare it any longer.

He slowly slid his arm off the trunk behind her and tentatively placed it around her shoulders. She shuddered when his hand came to rest on her shoulder but did not shy away from his touch. Very carefully he began to pull her closer.

When her head came to rest against his chest he carefully wrapped his other arm around her. She suddenly untangled herself from her legs and buried her face against his chest, her small and delicate hands clinging to the fabric of his tunic. She seemed so very small, so vulnerable, so soft in his arms, it felt so good...Maker why did she _feel_ so good.

He wrapped his arm more tightly around her shoulders, one hand buried into her soft red curls, cradling the back of her head, holding her even closer now. Resting his chin on top of her head, he closed his eyes, taking in her scent with every breath, leather, honey and flowers, it was so sweet he felt dizzy almost drunk. He never wanted to breath anything else again...it smelled like...home.

Cullen held her like this for several long moments, and Maker knows he wouldn't want to let go off her ever again. He could feel her relax in his arms, the shaking ceased slowly and her breath became more even.

He slid his hand out of her hair down to her cheek, caressing with his thumb over the soft skin of her cheekbone, it felt like silk under the touch of his calloused fingers. She tilted her head up slightly and opened her eyes slowly, deep blue, like crashing waves.

His heart began to pound even faster now, he drank them in, drowned in them. He could feel her breath against his lips, so close, if he just tipped his chin forward they would touch, he could almost taste them, he wanted to taste them, to feel them, he wanted nothing more than to close that distance between them, but he couldn't move a muscle. Time stood still around them. Her eyelids fluttered almost shut, her lips still ghosting over his, her breath sweet on his lips. He closed his own eyes and...

A loud shriek and a crash of something metallic made both of them jump to their feet. Kira was gone from his arms in an instant, and they stood facing each other, panting as if they had been running, eyes wide in shock.

“Sorry” they heard Sera call out.

“Sera!” Cassandra shouted angrily.

“What?!” Sera shouted back. “Not my fault! Tripp'n over that stupid shield!”

Cullen looked over at the tent, that the three women shared. Oh how he hated that little elf right now. He would gladly hang her up by her pointed ears for interrupting that.. _.kiss?_ He blinked,his eyes turned back to Kira, but she had already turned her back on him. She mumbled something that sounded like an apology, before she strode off towards her tent, to keep Cassandra from stabbing Sera accidentally, or intentionally. He wouldn't mind either at that moment. 

Looking up at the night sky, he knew he wouldn't be able to get any rest. He could still taste the sweetness of her breath on his lips. He settled himself down again, ready to take over the watch for the night, with more questions than answers in his mind...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter following soon.


	10. Ella

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit more about Kira's past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short one, to get ready for the bigger ones.
> 
> And let me know what you think of the content so far, I know where it leads and why people act like they do...but I'am not quite sure if I got it right so far.
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos. You always make my day^^

How could she let that happen, how by Andraste's smalls could she have let him that close to her...the lack of sleep drove her clearly insane.

 

Kira steadfastly avoided looking at Cullen while they rode the rest of the way down to the Hinterlands.

On top of everything else she had to deal with, she couldn't and wouldn't deal with the feelings she had that night...they frightened her. He frightened her in a way no one ever had.

His gentle touch, the warmth of his breath against her lips, the golden eyes looking right through her, his fingers against her cheek, the way she felt when he held her close, save and protected...it was too much. The thought of it almost drove her mad, she couldn't bare looking at him, she was too scared of what she might read in his eyes, and even more, what _she_ might feel...

She was different than the other Mages in her Circle, she always had been. Her Magic was more ruled by her emotions than theirs, which made her even more unpredictable...she couldn't allow those strange feelings.

Her Harrowing was almost a disaster, they clearly didn't expect her to master her demons, she even suspected they didn't want her to succeed, but she did, and when she returned to her body from the Fade, she had changed. She knew what she was then, she knew what they feared of her, and she knew they would never leave her alone, they would always see her as a threat, no matter what she did, they would see her as an uncontrollable Mage they couldn't get rid off.

It left her bitter and alone and she kept to herself from there on, until Ella and her older sister Leanna came into her life.

Ella especially was not impressed by Kira's coldness. On the contrary, Ella was utterly unimpressed by it, she just kept talking to her, the more Kira tried to ignore that little girl, the more she talked. It was impossible to stop her, until Kira finally gave up and responded to her.

Kira smiled at the thought of it.

Leanna on the other hand kept more to herself, like Kira, but they got along well enough.

Ella had been the one to show Kira how to dance, and Kira had been the one to show Ella how to let her magic run free, while they danced together.

Ella was special, talented, kind and warm. She never said something mean about another person, not even the Templars. She even kept smiling at them, no matter how they treated her. Kira never understood why she did it, how she could not hate them, but Ella always kept smiling.

Everyone loved Ella.

Kira loved her, like a sister.

When the Circle fell an the massacre began, brave little Ella came running to her room, where she was looked to await her trail for attacking that bloody Templar.

Ella was one of the few people who believed in her innocence. Ella had always believed in her, she never doubted her, she saw her for what she really was, for what she could be, and it was enough.

Ella came with the key to free her, she wouldn't just leave her behind.

They ran for their lives, Ella always close at her side, fighting against the oncoming Templars with their bloodied swords.

They couldn't find Leanna but they found other young mages, rescuing as many as they could.

For the first time in her live Kira could use her magic without fear, without restrain, she was free, she was free to choose her own way, and she chose to protect them, to protect them all, to protect Ella.

They had been on the run for month after the Ostwick Massacre, always hiding, never staying in one place, avoiding the Templars as much as they could, only fighting if they had no other choice.

Finally, they got word that most of the Rebel Mages gathered in Redcliff so they went to join them. They were a party of sixteen young mages, from the age of eight to fourteen and Kira with the age of twenty-five summers the oldest, their guard, their guide and protector...

Until that cursed night, when _he_ found her.

Kira wrenched her thoughts away from that memory before it could take form, before she could see their faces, before she could hear their screams again.

She wrapped her magic tightly around her, feeling it rush trough her blood, steadying her, calming her thoughts, protecting her, like it always had. It kept her feelings inside, controlled.

She looked up at her companions riding beside her, desperately trying to fix her thoughts on the present.

Her eyes finally found Cullen riding at the head of their small party, sitting upright and proud in his saddle. He always seemed so calm to her, so utterly in control, so...soothing.

She brought her brown stallion up to his black warhorse, riding silently beside him. His presence calmed her, like her magic did, she couldn't deny that any longer...but she would deny anything else.


	11. Redcliff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kira's group finally meets with the Mages in Redcliff, when suddenly everything goes terribly wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon divergency.
> 
> Warning: Violence and gore in this chapter. Don't read if you can't take it.

Cullen new it was a bad idea to come to Redcliff when he saw the big green Rift looming in front of Redcliff's gates, spewing demons at them in all directions. There were strange lights coming from the ground, making his skin prickle and slowing down his movements.

Cassandra's explanation, that the Rift appeared to alter the time around them made it _not_ better. The feeling grew even worse, when they entered Redcliff and an Inquisition scout informed them they spread word about the Inquisition's arrival, but no one seemed to have expected them.

Also a mage informed them, that a Magister was in charge of the Rebel Mages now, and that they were expected to meet him at the tavern. _What did a Magister do in Redcliff of all things?_ He didn't like that one bit. Kira had looked surprised at the Mages information, her eyes had narrowed slightly but she hadn't said a word about it.

The streets of Redcliff were filled with Mages, he could feel the magic around them in every corner of the town. It made him edgy. Despite the fact that he left the Templars, mostly because of the way they treated the Mages in Kirkwall, he wasn't sure he wanted them to run around completely unchecked. To much could go wrong, obviously something already had gone wrong.

When they entered the tavern, it was almost empty, but for an elderly looking elf with black, short cut hair, and two younger women all dressed in Circle robes. This must be the former Grand Enchanter Fiona, he guessed.

“Welcome, Agents of the Inquisition.” the elf said formally as they had entered the tavern

“Grant Enchanter Fiona.” Kira answered shortly with a nod, positioning herself in front of the woman.

“Lady Trevelyan” Grant Enchanter Fiona bowed her head slightly in acknowledgement of her former title. “What has brought _you_ to Redcliff?” she asked, curiosity swinging in her voice.

“ _You_ send me a letter, inviting me here to talk with you, to enlist those willing to help me close the Breach, but obviously you've changed your mind.” Kira said, voice cool and controlled.

“You must be miss-” Fiona tried to say, but Kira cut in.

“What's going on here Fiona? Why send a letter to me and then give up the leadership of the Free Mages to a Magister of Tevinter?” She asked tartly.

Cullen glanced at Kira out of the corner of his eyes, from his position beside her, she stood tall, her arms crossed over her chest, watching the former Grand Enchanter intently with her pale blue eyes. His eyes returned to the Grand Enchanter before him, the woman looked clearly puzzled.

“Well..whatever brought you here..” Fiona answered, her brows furrowing into a frown. “The situation has changed.”

Kira raised an eyebrow at her. “What do you mean?”

“The Free Mages have already pledged themselves to the service of the Tevinter Imperium.” Fiona stated, drawing herself up to stand tall in front of Kira, a flicker of emotions crossing over her face, she looked almost apologetic now, despite her proud posture.

Cullen took in a sharp breath as the meaning of her words sunk in, but whatever reply formed on his tongue was wiped away when Kira exploded.

“You've done WHAT!” Kira exclaimed angrily, Fiona flinched.

Kira's eyes narrowed dangerously, the crackling of energy around her rose noticeably, and the tingling of her magic in Cullen's head became more intense. Fiona took an involuntary step back from her, shook was clearly written on her face at Kira's sudden outburst. At the same time, he saw Varric and Cassandra step up on either side of Kira, flanking her, ready to hold her back if needed. Cullen almost smiled at the casualness of their actions. They seemed to be used to it.

“You've sold the free Mages into slavery!” Kira raged on, a thin line of lightning crackling down her right hand, before she clenched it into a tight fist snuffing it out. “ _You_ of all people?”

“I...we...had no c-choice.” Fiona stammered, taking another step back from Kira. “The Templars were about to attack us, I had to save my people. The Magister offered us protection...were non other did.” she tried to explain.

“You've made a huge mistake!” Kira hissed at Fiona, a low almost feral sound, it reminded Cullen of a cat, a very _large_ and _angry_ cat. Kira's almond shaped eyes, glowering down at Fiona, amplified the effect even more.

Fiona bowed her head unable to withstand Kira's gaze any longer, her shoulders slumped, and she gave a barley visible nod. Cullen almost felt sympathetic with the former Grand Enchanter...almost.

The door swung open, and Kira jumped back immediately at the sound of it, her lips curling up into a snarl. Cullen turned to see who'd entered the tavern.

“Welcome my friends! I apologize for not greeting you earlier.” a man in typically Tevinter designed mage armour approached them, looking curiously at Kira. His short cropped hair was covered with a red hood, and he seemed to be...smug about something. Cullen disliked him immediately, the way he was looking at Kira behind him amplified this feeling even more.

The Man was flanked by two others, mages by the look of them, also dressed in Tevinter robes. A younger looking man, maybe twenty years old, with a rather...friendly expression on his face, despite the dark circles under his eyes. And a slightly older looking fellow, who's eyes stayed fixed on Kira, watching her every move as it seemed. Some kind of bodyguard, Cullen guessed, moving closer to Kira's side, one hand clutching the hilt of his sword, his eyes darting between the three newcomers.

“Agents of the Inquisition, allow me to introduce Magister Gereon Alexius.” Fiona managed to say, trying very hard to gain back some kind of composure.

The Magister stopped at the centre of the room, his brown eyes peering at everyone of their little group, lingering longer on Cullen and Cassandra, before they finally returned to focus on Kira his gaze flickered down to her left hand with the Mark, contained by the brown leather glove she was wearing, still there was a faint green glow surrounding her hand. Cullen shuddered inwardly at the way the Magister's eyes scanned her hand. He gritted his teeth together, to keep the growl that formed in his chest, from rising up.

“The southern Mages are under my command.” Magister Alexius finally spoke. “And you are the survivor, yes? The one from the Fade?” He said with obvious interest in his voice. “ Interesting” the Magister concluded with a smug smile at the corner of his lips.

“Tell me about this.. _.alliance_.” Kira demanded.

The smile on Magister Alexius face widened. “Certainly. What specifically do you wish to know?” he asked politely.

“The Grand Enchanter told me, she pledged the mages to the Service of Tevinter. What does that mean exactly?” Kira asked suspiciously.

“The Grand Enchanter and the Free Mages indentured themselves to me.” he answered Kiras question. “Our southern brethren have no legal status in The Imperium. As they were not born citizens of Tevinter, they must work for a period of _ten_ years before gaining full rights. As their...protector, I shall oversee their work for the Imperium.” he concluded, still with the hint of that smile on his face.

“And what does the Imperium gain, by taking rebel mages under his wing?” Kira asked, her voice cool and controlled.

“For the moment, the Southern Mages are a considerable expanse.” Alexius answered. “After they are properly trained, they will join our Legion.”

“You said not all my people would be military!” Fiona objected suddenly, stepping towards Alexius. “There are children, those not suited-”

The Magister turned his cold brown eyes on her. “And one day, I'm sure they will all be productive citizens of the Imperium.” he interrupted her coldly. “When their debts are paid.” Fiona's face paled at his words, her eyes wide, she looked at Kira, a barely visible silent plea written in her delicate elven features.

Kira's eyes flared up at Alexius's words, but otherwise she did not move a muscle, she continued to look at the Magister for a long moment. Alexius eyed her intently, as if waiting for something, the smug smile starting to show more clearly on his lips. _Did he test her?_ Cullen thought. _Why?_

“I've heard you are in need of _my_ Mages to close the Breach, yes? Shall we negotiate the terms of their service to you, then?” he asked politely, gesturing to a nearby table. Kira didn't move immediately, she kept glaring at him for several moments.

The room was crackling with energy and Cullen felt the hair at the back of his neck rise, his skin prickled and he unconsciously reached for his Templar ability's, they felt weakened by the lack of lyrium in his blood, but they were still there. Not that they would do him any good in a room filled with mages, even with Cassandra's seeker ability's he wasn't sure they would be able to silence them all if it came to a fight. _Please, don't do something rash_. He thought, gazing intently at Kira.

Kira shoot a quick glance at him, before she started to walk towards the table and sat down, Alexius taking the seat opposite her. Cullen slowly let out the breath he was holding, relaxing a bit.

“Fiona your presence is no longer required, return to the castle, and await my orders!” Alexius snapped at the Former Grand Enchanter.

Fiona flinched as if physically struck by his words, she dropped her head and answered in a low and slightly trembling voice: “Yes, Magister.”

She hurried toward the door, as she passed Cullen he could see tears welling up in her eyes. Rage shoot though his veins, at the sight of it, but he kept an iron grip on his uprising temper.

Cullen could see that Kira was trembling with rage, it wasn't that obvious for someone who didn't know her as well, but he saw the tiny twitching movements of her muscles, on her arm, her back and her hands. Her teeth were clenched, another word from this Magister and she would surely explode. He _was_ testing her, Cullen realised.

“Felix, would you send for a scribe please.” he addressed the young Mage standing near the table.

“Forgive me my lack of manners, Lady Trevelyan.” Alexius said politely, waving a hand toward the younger Mage. “This is my son Felix”

Felix bowed respectfully to Kira before he went to the door speaking to a servant outside the tavern.

“Are these all of your companions?” The Magister asked casually, too casually for Cullen's taste. His gaze swept over them all again.

Kira didn't answer that question immediately. “No” she lied. “The others await us outside the gates of Redcliff.” _Good girl_ , Cullen thought suppressing a smile.

Alexius nodded towards the unnamed Mage. “Fetch us some wine, Caio.” he ordered. The Man turned with a slight bow and went into the kitchen of the tavern.

A movement at the door caught Cullen's attention. Alexius's son had straightened at his father's words. Sera standing near the door, also turned to look at him suspiciously. Felix seemed to whisper something to her trough clenched teeth, and Sera's face went ashen.

This was all the warning they've got. Cullen unsheathed his sword in a fluent movement, reaching for his shield. Everything slowed down for a moment before his eyes as the adrenalin shoot through his veins, sharpening his awareness. He saw Kira jump away from the table turning around to face the main door to the tavern. Varric beside him reached for his crossbow and Cassandra whirled around to face the door to the kitchen. The two doors crashed open with a loud bang, the sound of breaking glass behind him, reached his ears.

They came at them from all sides, dozens of mages and soldiers suddenly filled the tavern, through the doors and windows. Magic buzzed around him as he whirled towards the attackers, shield falling into place on it's own, strapped to his left arm, due to years of battle experience.

He raised his sword high to block off the attack of an oncoming soldier, while he crashed his shield into the head of another at his side. He felt Kira's magic rise around them, striking down at the attackers, with ice and lightning. One of Varric's crossbow bolts passed his ear by an inch and struck deep into the skull of the soldier before him. The Man sagged down instantly, blood gushing down his face, eyes wide open.

“Kira!” Cullen heard Varric's shout, and turned quickly towards her.

Alexius had used the distraction to sneak up on Kira. He stood behind her one fist clenched tightly in her red hair, forcing her head back to expose her throat to the long knife he held against it. Blood was running down her neck as she fought against his grip, her magic bouncing off the barrier spell around him.

 _No_ , Cullen screamed inside of his head as he saw the blood running down her neck.

He rushed towards the Magister, eyes narrowed, teeth bared, a deep, feral growl coming out of his chest. He reached for his ability's, maybe he could burst that barrier, give Kira the opportunity to attack with magic.

“Drop your weapons!” Alexius shouted at them. “Or I kill your precious Herald.”

Cullen stopped his furious advance but held on to his sword and shield, as did the others. They all had turned to look at The Magister and Kira.

When Alexius saw that they didn't obey his order immediately, he pressed the knife deeper into Kira's flesh, drawing more blood from the cut, to emphasize his threat. Cullen winced at the sight of her blood pouring down her neck and chest now, it was too much, the cut must already be to deep, if it wasn't stopped soon, she would bleed to death. Cassandra gasp, eyes wide in shook, she had seen it too. He heard Varric's crossbow clatter to the ground, shortly followed by Cassandra's sword and shield.

Kira's pale blue eyes found his. “Don't” he heard her voice coming through clenched teeth. She still fought against the grip in her hair and the knife on her throat, but it was weaker now.

Cullen his eyes never leaving hers let his shield drop to the floor, a heartbeat later, he let go of his sword too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was hard to write, i rewrote it several times. Hope I finally got it right and you enjoyed reading it.


	12. Meeting Dorian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian turns up, freeing Cullen and the others from the dungeon beneath Redcliff.

Cullen was pacing around in his small prison cell, like a caged animal, back and forth, back and forth, growling under his breath. Varric sitting in the cell opposite him shoot him an annoyed glance and sight audibly.

“Stop pacing Curly! No matter how much you glare at those iron bars, they won't melt!” Varric said sternly.

Cullen just shoot him a deadly glare in return, he wasn't in the mood for jokes, or talk, or anything, obviously.

“Leave him be, Varric!” he heard Cassandra' voice out of the cell beside him. She sounded concerned.

Varric knew Cullen was on edge, for much more reasons, than being imprisoned by a Magister of Tevinter, which was already bad enough. He knew some of his personal history, he'd heard rumours in Kirkwall, that the Circle he was stationed during the fifth Blight was overrun by abominations and blood Mages. No one had any detailed information of course, just telltales, and Varric did not know how far they'd be from the truth.

It couldn't be easy for Cullen, to be trapped by Mages again. Since Kirkwall he seemed to have changed a great deal, treating the Mages that joined the Inquisition always with respect, but everyone could tell that he was still very cautious around them. Who could blame him, mages could be unpredictable. There was only one Mage, Cullen wasn't so... _uneasy_ around, and that was, to everyone's surprise, Kira. Varric chuckled at the thought of the two of them, squabbling at the war table. Unlikely pair those two but still, there was something in the way they argued over utterly unimportant stuff, passionately and very loud. He _had_ heard that young Cullen had fallen in love with a mage once, maybe..

It was just so unbelievable, it had to be true, Varric chuckled again. That _would_ make a fine love story, wouldn't it? he thought.

A Mage and a Templar falling in love despite their differences? At a time like this, during the war between Mages and Templars, that might be a bestselling book, he decided.

The nobles in Val Royeaux would die for a story like that.

But first they needed to get out of that stinking damp hole of dungeon. They'd been captured and brought down here, beneath Redcliff Castle, all but Sera and The Herald.

Sera wasn't with them when they've been handcuffed in the tavern. Varric suspected that sneaky little elf had managed to escape, he didn't know how, but he hoped she had. The Herald though, was taken somewhere else.

Cullen nearly knocked over their guards, as they all had to watch her being dragged away, she had been already unconscious. It took four of their guards to restrain, a _very_ fierce looking Cullen.

Varric heard the door to the dungeon open silently, his head snapped up at the sound, since they've been caged down here, no one had bothered coming to look after them. It seemed the only one the Tevinters were interested in, was their Herald. For whatever reason.

A somewhat tall man stepped in front of their cells, he didn't have the look of a guardsmen. His skin was tanned, stretching smoothly over his bared shoulder muscles and arms, his face was calm with watchful brown eyes rimmed by dark coal and a twirled moustache above his upper lip. Another man stepped into Varric's view behind the first , he knew the second one, it was Felix, the son of Magister Alexius. What was _he_ doing here?

Cullen's hands went up to grip at the iron bars in front of him.

“Where is she!” he snarled at the two man, eye's narrowed dangerously.

The first man turned to look at Cullen, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Well you must be the Commander the elf mentioned.” he said in an unmistakable Tevinter accent.

Cullen just glared at him. The man seemed fairly unimpressed by that and went on

“I am Dorian of House Pavus, most recently of Minrathous, in case you wanted to know, and to answer your, so politely asked question, your Herald is held captive in another part of the dungeon.” he said in a very relaxed tone of voice.

Varric heard Cassandra rush to the front of her cell. “What do you want from _her_ Tevinter?! Why do you hold us captive?!”

“So many questions all at once.” The man, Dorian, replied with the hint of smile on his lips. “ Actually I do not hold you captive, I am here to free you, and for, what exactly my former Mentor Magister Alexius wants with your Herald, I can only guess.” the smile faded, and his expression became serious. “Let's start with Alexius claiming the allegiance of the Mage Rebels out from under you. As if by Magic, yes? Which is exactly right. To reach Redcliff before the Inquesition, Alexius distorted time itself.”

“He did what?” Cassandra exclaimed clearly surprised. Cullen just growled. Varric stuffed his little leather notebook back in his pockets and also went to the front of his cell.

“The Rift you encountered before Redcliff, have you noticed how it twisted the time around it, sped something's up and slowed others down? Soon there will be more like it, appearing further and further away from Redcliff.” Dorian explained.

“How could that be possible?” Cassandra asked.

Dorian, turned to look at her in earnest “The Magic Alexius is using is wildly unstable and it's unravelling the world.” he said gravely.

“Mages, they doom us all one day.” Cullen growled.

“Odd to hear such words from a man who follows one, very _special_ mage...I might say, around Thedas.” Dorian answered. “Her kind is rare, even in Tevinter.”

As he saw their puzzled expressions he sight and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You don't even know, do you?” he sighed again.

“What do you mean? The Mark on her hand-” Cassandra began

“I'm not talking about her Mark.” Dorian cut in. “Which is peculiar, to say the least, I mean, where did that come from anyway? Oh never mind we don't have time for this right now.” he concluded.

“I helped develop the time Magic Alexius is using, but it was pure theory at the time.” he went on, completely ignoring their startled looks at the sudden change of subject. “He could never get it to work. What I don't understand is why he's doing it? Ripping time to shreds just to gain a few hundred lackeys?”

“He didn't do it for them.” Felix finally spoke from behind Dorian. “He did it for me.”

Dorian's face went blank for a moment as he turned to put a hand on Felix's shoulder. There was something very emotional about this simple gesture. Varric frowned.

“You've mentioned an elf before?” Varric asked, snapping Dorian's attention back to them.

“Oh yes, how could I forget, charming little thing, tried to poke one of my eyes out with a broken arrow tip, before we could convince her that we are playing in the same team.” Dorian said with a hint of sarcasm.

“Sounds like buttercup.” Varric admitted.

“Oh she was nothing against that redhead deary, that appeared today. Lovely woman, scares everyone around her just by looking at them, smiling.” Dorian added.

“Leliana is here?” Cassandra asked barely hiding her excitement.

“She sends her agent's into the castle, while we speak yes, which brings us back to the important part. Freeing you and getting your dear Herald out of here.”

“Why would you help us?” Cullen finally asked through clenched teeth.

“My father's joined a cult.” Felix replied instead of Dorian. “Tevinter supremacist, they call themselves “Venatori.”...what ever he has done for them, he did it to get to your Herald. They are obsessed with her, I don't know why, perhaps because she survived the Temple of Sacred Ashes.”

“Alexius is your father, why would you act against him?” Cassandra asked suspiciously.

“For the same reason Dorian works against him.” Felix stated. “I love my father, and I love my country. But this? Cults? Time Magic? What he's doing now is madness! For his own sake, we have to stop him!”

“It would also be nice if he wouldn't rip a hole in time, there's already a hole in the sky.” Dorian added sarcastically.

“If the Venatori are behind those Rifts, or the Breach in the sky, they're even worse than I thought.” Felix said frowning.

“Why should we trust them?” Cullen asked angrily.

“Oh Curly, pull yourself together! First, they made a really good description of Leliana, and I doubt that she would let them live, if they weren't honest. And second, and most important, would you rather stay locked up in this cell, or get Kira out of here?” Varric shoot at him.

Cullen huffed and avoided his eyes.

“Now, we've wasted enough time, let's get you out and off to your sleeping little princess.” Dorian fussed around in his pocket and produced a large iron key.

“Sleeping?” Cassandra asked, when Dorian went to unlock the door to her cell.

“Of course” He answered. “Considering her kind, and the lack of proper Templars.” he shoot a quick look at Cullen. “It's the only way to keep her controlled, otherwise she'd blown up the castle by now I guess.”

“That does sound like pumpkin.” Varric said thoughtfully. “But if she was asleep the entire time, how would _you_ know that?” he added suspiciously.

Dorian came over to unlock Varric's prison door, saving Cullen for last. “Pumpkin? She didn't struck me as that...corpulent.” He said with a smile and obviously avoiding the question.

“You've seen her?” Cullen asked, voice softening slightly.

Dorian looked up from his work of getting the key to unlock the rusty door and regarded Cullen for a long moment, face unreadable, before he turned away again.

“I sneaked inside her cell to see if she was alright.” Dorian answered finally after Varric was freed out of his cell.

“Why haven't you woken her up then, and freed her first?” Cullen asked, the anger returning to his voice.

Dorian went finally over to Cullen.

“That my friend, would have been very unwise.” he stopped well out of Cullen's reach before he continued. “She doesn't know me, I couldn't just wake her up and drag her around the dungeons, for that, I need you.” he smiled at Cullen, then went to open his door.

As soon as Cullen heard the door unlock, he rushed out of the cell, Dorian stepped back quickly, maintaining a certain distance between him and the scowling Templar in front of him.

“You better show us where she is than, Sparkler.” Varric chuckled. “Before our dear Curly looses his patience.”

Dorian raised an eyebrow at Varric. “Sparkler?” he asked.

Varric grinned broadly as they turned to the door. Cassandra catching up to Cullen, whispering something to him Varric couldn't make out, Cullen closed his eyes for a moment and nodded slightly.

….

They had only stooped for a few minutes to retrieve their weapons and armour out of a small room Dorian had pointed out, before they went on trailing behind the two Tevinters, winding their way around occasionally patrols.

Cullen felt much better clad in his familiar armour, with his sword at his side and the shield strapped to his back. The passed days had worn him down measurably, he felt helplessly, trapped in his prison cell. He couldn't sleep out of fear what he might dream, out of fear what would happen when he wakes again. He tried very hard to keep the memories of Kinloch Hold locked up in his mind. But here, in this place, it was all to much. He didn't know how long he would have been able to endured it, maybe a day, maybe only an hour. He was very close to loosing his mind...

They went up a steep flight of stairs into the upper parts of the dungeon. It was more crowded up here, more patrols crossed their path and it became increasingly difficult to avoid them. Dorian had informed them about Leliana's plan to enter the castle and give them back up. But before they freed The Herald, they wanted to avoid any kind of attention and prevent the guards from sounding the alarm and destroying any chance they had in reaching Kira in time.

Dorian stopped suddenly, snapping Cullen out of his thoughts, he wasn't really able to pay much attention to his surroundings, he couldn't keep his focus. His senses, normally in this kind of situation sharp as knife, were dull. Cassandra frequently shot worried glances over her shoulder at him. She knew of course, what was wrong with him, at least some of it.

They crouched low in a narrow corridor, and Dorian pointed toward a large wooden door around a corner to their left.

“That is the place where they keep her. There are two guards placed outside the door, and enchantments woven into the door for extra security.” he whispered. Cullen's heart began to pound at the thought that they were so close to her right now.

“How can we get past them?” Cassandra whispered back.

“I distract them.” Felix said behind Cassandra. “I will give you enough time to get her out of there, everything else is on you and Dorian.”

Dorian nodded. “I know the enchantments at the door, it shouldn't take long.”

“Good, then let's go.”Varric added in a low voice.

“Cullen?” Cassandra looked at him.

Cullen nodded slightly, still struggling with his concentration.

Felix stood, took a deep breath and strode around the corner. They heard him talking quietly to the guards. Then six pairs off boots tramped down the corridor.

When they couldn't hear them anymore they slipped one after another around the corner toward the big wooden door. Dorian was first to reach the door, immediately starting to break the enchantments around the it with swift gestures of his hands.

“There, done.” Dorian announced glancing around the corridors, gesturing them to enter.

They entered a big chamber, red tapestries hanging from walls on either side, large bookshelves stood side by side at the back wall of the room, clattered with potions, books, scrolls and oddly looking instruments. Positioned in the middle of the room was a wooden bench on which Kira lay sprawled on her back. Her hands and feet fastened with broad leather bands to the rough wooden surface, her brilliant red hair hung partly over the rim of the bench. She still wore her armour, though the collar of her blue shirt and the left side of her long, tailored, dark brown leather cloak was stained with dried blood.

Cullen moved straight away to her side, cupping her face with one hand and his eyes scanning her body for injuries. The cut at her throat had been healed leaving only a faint silver scar. Her face was ashy, her usually deep red lips pale and cracked, eyes closed shut rimmed with dark circles. Her skin felt cold under his touch. He closed his eyes listening for something, he didn't know what, until her heard, or felt, the soft bell like tingling in his mind, it was faint but it was there. He let out the breath he wasn't aware he was holding back and looked over to Dorian.

Dorian went over to the other side of the bench, face unreadable, he held out a small vial with a dark green liquid towards Cullen.

“Give her that, it will cause her to wake up soon.” he said.

Cullen looked suspiciously down at the vial, before his eyes went up again to regard Dorian darkly. Dorian rolled his eyes and unstopped the vial himself, his hand moved towards Kira's neck to pull her up, but Cullen caught Dorian's wrist with his free hand in an iron grip.

“Don't touch her!” Cullen growled low, pushing Dorian's hand away. He didn't want to trust this Tevinter, but he had freed them and led them to her as he had promised. If he wanted to poison her, he could have done so already. “I'll do it.” He lifted Kira's head gently, tilting it back a little so that her lips parted slightly. He took the vial from Dorian and held it to her lips, dipping the content slowly into her mouth. She coughed once as the liquid ran down her throat. It smelled like rotten eggs.

Varric was already working at the leather straps that bound Kira to the bench.

“I can hear noises from outside!” Cassandra whispered sharply from her position at the door. They all turned to look at the door.

“We are running out of time.” Dorian urged. “We can't wait until she wakes up.”

Cullen lifted Kira effortlessly up into his arms. “I'll carry her.” he announced. She stirred slightly as he pressed her against his chest, and he looked down at her still sleeping face, some colour seemed to have returned to her cheeks, and her eyelids began to flutter, but did not open.

“Alright, let's go.” Varric said, readying his Crossbow. Cassandra drew her sword and Dorian rushed forward, mage staff already in hand. They burst through the door, Cullen following behind pressing Kira protectively against his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The hole quest turned out to be much longer than i intended it to be, sorry for that...hope you don't get bored :D


	13. The waking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kira wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Violence and gore

As Kira regained her consciousness, she was confused. Her body felt heavy, she couldn't move her arms and legs, she couldn't even open her eyes, there were strange sounds around her, muffled noises, which didn't make sense at all. She felt someone lift her up, swift but gently. The hands pressing her against a hard surface were warm and big, the arms holding her felt solid and strong, somehow familiar.

The muffled sounds around her began to clear, she felt like coming out of thick foggy air. They were voices, familiar voices. But she couldn't make out anything they said or to whom they belonged. What had happened to her? Why did she feel so enormously tired and drained?

There was another sharp noise, and the man holding her moved. She felt panic rising inside of her chest. Where did they take her? She fought against the numbness, struggling to regain her senses, to at least be able to open her eyes. Her head bounced against the hard surface, while the man was running, until a hand came up to cradle her head and secure it from hitting the...metal?

Her stomach lurched as the man suddenly dropped down, she could feel muscular thighs under her legs and at the small of her back. Was he crouching? Why? This was really frustrating. She wanted to know what was going on. She doubled her efforts in moving at least some part of her body, she could feel her hands twitching, and a soft moan escaped her lips.

A big calloused hand came up to cup her cheek, and a thumb moved over her cheekbone, caressing her skin. That definitely felt familiar, she remembered warm golden eyes, shining like the sun, looking down at her, the feel of hot breath against her lips, the fire that had build inside her, very similar to the fire that went through her body right now.

Finally her eyelids fluttered open, everything was blurry for moment, until her eyes began to focus again, and there they were again, the _eyes_ she had remembered a moment before, golden, like sun warmed honey, soft and intimate. A name crossed her mind.

“Cul..” she tried to speak but her tongue was heavy as lead, she swallowed, and tried again.

“Cullen” she managed this time, smiling, happy at the pleasant feeling the name, his name, left on her tongue.

His eyes brightened at the sound of his name, coming from her mouth, a warm smile spread over his lips, and she could feel him shift under her, sitting down, pressing her more tightly against him. It felt so good, everything felt _soo_ good, all was well as long as this man, Cullen, looked at her and held her close and protectively pressed against him.

She exhaled, feeling herself relaxing. Someone was speaking beside them. The man, reluctantly tore his gaze away from hers, breaking that warm and solid connection. She wanted to protest, but she couldn't get out any words, and instead she lifted a hand towards his face, determined to turn his attention back towards her.

He caught her hand in midair, with his own huge hand pressing her much smaller one gently against his chest, right over his steady beating heart, seemingly unaware of it, because he still was talking to that person beside them. She could feel the cold metal against her palm and the warmth radiating from his at the back of her hand, the metal vibrated slightly with every beat of his heart, the sensation send even more comfortable heat waves rushing through her body, through her soul, she revelled in this delightful feeling.

She turned her eyes slowly to peek at the one who kept talking to the man holding her. It was another familiar face, she recognized suddenly, square with a big crocked nose dominating it, a reddish stubble spreading over his cheeks and bushy eyebrows drawn together over grey eyes. The other man began to smile as she slowly turned her head toward him, to get a better look at him, she felt herself smiling back. And he said something to her, but it still didn't make sense, yet his tone was friendly and warm.

She looked up as a sudden movement caught her attention, another face loomed over her, a woman's face this time, pale skinned, red lips, brown eyes looking down at her, she seemed concerned. She shouted something over her shoulder, a name maybe?

This time an entirely new face came into view, tanned skin, a funny looking moustache under a well formed nose, light brown eyes rimmed by dark coal, regarding her, she frowned slightly at the newcomer, not knowing what to think of him, but she was surrounded by familiarity, and she felt save and warm, so his appearance didn't disturb her at all.

The man with the moustache suddenly smiled at her, warm and welcoming and she heard herself giggle softly at the way his moustache twitched with the motion. He couldn't mean her any harm when he was smiling like that. All was well, she let out a content sigh and closed her eyes for a moment.

“Will she be alright?” she heard the man holding her asked suddenly, the sound of his low, pleasant voice washing over her.

Finally she could make sense to the words they said, she smiled again looking up to the man with the golden eyes, cuddling closer to him.

“She looks pretty alright to me.” The stranger answered, he had a strange sounding accent, but she liked it immediately “All smiles and cuteness, very adorable your little Herald, I might say.” he smiled again down at her.

“That's what worries us.” The man with the reddish hair said.”She usually doesn't smile like that, not that much and especially _not_ at Curly.”

Why wouldn't she? She became more and more puzzled. Did they really talk about her? No it couldn't be. She closed her eyes taking a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the man called Cullen. He smelled very _very_ nice, leather and metal, sweaty but sweet, perfect.

“Kira?” it was the woman's voice thick with an...nevarran accent? that was her name wasn't it? She opened her eyes again to regard the woman. “Do you remember what happened to you?”

Kira frowned, no she didn't but..., she shook her head, it didn't matter anyway, whatever had happened to her before, everything was fine now.

“Probably side effects from the potions they gave her to keep her unconscious.” The man with the moustache said thoughtfully. “I'm still surprised though, before you arrived at Redcliff I asked some of the Mages from the..Ostwick Circle I believe it was, about your Herald, the way they described her doesn't quite fit.” He drew his eyebrows together.

The Ostwick Circle? She knew that name, a Circle, yes, she came from a Circle. She frowned again, flickers of memories crossed her mind, faces, feelings.

“What did they say?” Varric asked suddenly interested.

“They described her more as 'unapproachable' and 'with eyes made of ice and steel'.” the stranger said still frowning, sounding a little puzzled.

“Oh, well...” Varric seemed at a loss for words to explain it.

“Who would compare these, stunning eyes, with ice and steel?” the man went on. “They are more like..”

“...an ocean of blue.” Cullen completed the sentence quietly.

“Well yes, that's...rather poetic, you know?” the man grinned broadly at Cullen.

She was confused, she couldn't follow their conversation, nothing they said made any sense.

Her eyes found Cullen's again, she smiled at him, bright and warm. He was blushing and her smile widened, then it began to falter.

A nagging feeling began to tug her, she should remember something about him, something important to her, something that would change everything, but she didn't want to know, she didn't want to change.

She pressed herself closer to Cullen, nestling her face against his neck, whimpering quietly, the feeling kept growing inside of her, relentlessly. She felt both of his arms curling around her, his hand drawing soothing circles on her back.

Despite his calming presence she felt the tension building inside of her. She held on to him, wanting to savour that moment of peace, it would fade, she knew it, like the fog that clouded her memory.

She drew back to look at his face again, his eyes still warm and soft, _just one more moment,_ she pleaded.

She reached up, stroking with her fingers lightly through the stubbles on his cheek, a shudder went through his body at her gentle touch. That's when she realizes that his cheek was tinted in a faint green light, and it came from the inside of her palm, the palm he had been holding against his chest, only moments before. The light grew in intensity, it pulsated.

She turned her hand around looking at the strange light, a loud crack cut through the air and the room was tinted in green light, she jumped to her feet, Cullen close beside her drawing his sword. The light didn't come from her hand, it came from the ceiling above.

She turned, eyes wide in shook, a too familiar shriek cut through the air before her, she looked up at the Terror Demon looming over her. More and more demons appeared around them, another Terror Demon to her left, two Fear Demons and a handful of Sloth Demons all around the room they've been hiding in. Everyone was suddenly engaged in fighting, accept her.

She stood, completely frozen, and all at once the memories came crushing over her, like waves in a storm. Her time in the Circle, the journey to the Conclave, an explosion, pain, how she woke up in haven, they called her 'The Herald of Andraste', more events followed, flickering past before her inner eye, the events at the tavern, the sharp pain at her throat and the look in Cullen's eyes when he dropped his sword to save her. Cullen! _Oh no_.

“Watch out!” she heard Cassandra yell, her voice cutting through the rush of pictures in her head.

She could feel a strong arm wrapping itself around her waist, pulling her back, the moment she saw the Terror Demon's claws coming down at her. She was slammed back against the stone wall, hearing an ear splitting sound of claws screeching against metal. The demon growled in frustration.

She opened her eyes reluctantly, wondering what had happened, surprised to see Cullen curled protectively over her, one arm still wrapped tightly around her waist pressing her flush against his body, shielding her, luckily he had his shield still strapped to his back, otherwise he would have been gravely wounded by the wickedly sharp claws of the demon.

Glancing over his shoulder she could see the long tail of the second Terror Demon flick towards Cullen's unprotected side. She gasped, eyes wide in horror, reaching up and grabbing the back of his neck pulling his head down onto her shoulder, her other arm wound itself around his shoulders, holding him as close as possible, the tail bounced of the magical barrier that leaped up around them, just in time.

She was panting with the effort to hold the barrier in place, as the two demons rage on, pounding fiercely with claws and tail against it, again and again.

Defence Magic had never been her strongest talent and she hadn't fully recovered her strength yet, she felt the barrier around them weaken with every impact.

“Cullen” she whispered in his ear. “ Listen, when I say 'now', I need you to get out of my way, let go off me, jump, duck, roll whatever-” She gasped again and shuddered, ringing for air. He stiffen at her words, he turned his face slowly towards her neck and she could feel his hot breath against her sensitive skin.

“No” he whispered back. “I won't-”

“We don't have time to argue over this, I can't hold on much longer.” she cut in insistently.

He shook his head. She let out an exasperated breath.

“Cullen you stubborn mule!” Another heavy impact almost shattered the barrier. “ Let go off me..NOW!” she shouted the last word, the barrier shattered around them and he released her, but instead of ducking away and leaving her unprotected, he turned towards the two demons, sword raised to block of the oncoming attack, he was fast she'll give him that, but not fast enough. She heard him grunt as one of the demons sank his claws into the flesh of his unprotected thigh, tearing it open, blood spattered to the floor and the copper tang of his blood filled the air. _Why would he...?Stupid Ox!_ They would tear him to pieces, _idiot_! Still he wouldn't move, he fumbled for his shield, the next attack struck him over his chest, slamming him back into the wall, hard. She heard his breath leaving his lungs in a hiss as he slumped to the ground. _Stupid bloddy noble Templar!_

_Not for me, you won't die for me!_

She charged at the two demons ducking their next attack, tails crashing into the wall missing her head by only an inch, debris and dust rained down to the floor, she raised both of her hands in a fluid motion over her head, two bright sizzling lightning strikes crashed down upon each of the Terror demons, when she jerked her arms down with a furious cry, they stiffened, twisted body's convulsing violently. And then Cullen was back at her side, panting and limping, shield tied to his left arm, sword raised high. How was he even able to stand with that wound? The pain must be unbearable.

He charged passed her, at one of the Terrors, she cursed, watching him wield his sword with mighty blows at the demon, driving it back with his furious attack, while she bombarded it with ice and fire coming out of her hands, all the while muttering curses under her breath, she was careful not to hit him with her magic, which was extremely difficult without a staff to guide her magic.

When all the demons had finally fallen, Kira raised her marked hand toward the rift, green light shot out of her palm connecting her with the rift, she pulled back and with a shuddering boom the rift finally closed.

The silence that fell over them was palpable. She turned instantly towards Cullen, he'd limped over to the stone wall, dropping his shield and sword, when he sank to the floor back against the wall, he looked pale now that the adrenalin left his blood. She hurried over to him, dropping to her knees beside him.

“Stubborn fool!” she muttered, she was so angry at him she wanted to slap him, again and again for scaring the shit out of her. She inspected his wound, it was deep, blood kept pooling out in a steady flow drenching the ragged cloth around it, she needed to heal it. She placed her hands over the gash, not to gently, and he hissed in pain.

“Next time you do as I say, I had a plan, everything would have been fine!” It was a lie.”But you, had to play the stupid noble knight!” _and save my life_. She closed her eyes in frustration and drew her hands back.

She couldn't do this when she was angry, the healing wouldn't work. She sighed and began to hum softly, a song she used to sing when she was afraid, a lullaby her mother sang to her when she was young, when she was just a child and the world was good.

She relaxed and felt her magic rising, soft and tender. She placed her hands back over the gash, gently this time and Cullen barley flinched. While she was humming the magic flowed out of her hands, soft green tendrils of light, twirling around the bleeding wound and inside his flesh, Cullen stiffened, she ignored him. The magic flowed in perfect unison with the notes of her song, rising and falling, stopping the bleeding, knitting cut muscles and flesh and skin, until only a faint silver scar remained as the last note left her lips.

She drew in a deep breath, she felt tiered and drained, her shoulders slumped, she kept her eyes fixed on the shimmering scar, not wanting to look at the people who had gathered around her, especially not at Cullen. She could here him breath, evenly, and she knew he was watching her. She could feel it.

“Fascinating. How does that work, exactly?” The man with the moustache asked from behind her. “You healed it completely.”

She reluctantly turned to look up at him. He blinked and frowned, stepping towards her. “Your eyes-” but before he could continue they heard loud voices coming from outside the door and the stomping of many heavy booted feet on stony ground.

They turned toward the door, all at once, weapons raised, ready for whatever came through.

Kira stood up bracing herself against the wall, feeling dizzy. When the door opened slowly and the head of a female elf came into view, short cropped and dishevelled blond strands framed her face, big grey eyes, glinting as they saw her.

“Blinky!” Sera exclaimed, looking back over her shoulder she shouted. “Found them, in here!”

“Sera?!” Kira shouted back in disbelieve.

Sera raced towards her and flung herself into her wide spread arms. Both women collapsed, laughing in a tangle of arms and legs, to the ground.

“I was wondering were you might be, what happened to you? I lost sight of you in the tavern.” Kira asked breathlessly all weariness draining out of her.

“That Felix guy drag'd me out before things went bad, he and smarty ass over there convinced me they wanted to help, anyway Felix showed up at the meeting point, but you didn't, so we came to look for you.” Sera replied.

“We?” she asked. “Who's with you?”

“I am.” said a new lilting voice from the door.

Kira looked up to see Leliana standing in the door frame, a sly smirk on her lips.

 


	14. Fighting and losing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Kira and Cullen having an argument.  
> 2\. When he lost her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought about parting those two parts of the chapters, but I don't know. You decide.
> 
>  
> 
> (Sorry I had to edit the sentence, i never intended to part Kira and Cullen, there will be a romance....)
> 
>  
> 
> (...and yes, there will be a happy end, those two deserve it.)

**Cullen: “I won't allow it!”**

**Kira: “You what? You don't have the authority to forbid me anything, commander! No one has!”**

**Cullen: “We are leaving this _fucking_ place right now!”**

**Kira: “ _You can_! I'll go and find Alexius!”**

Dorian “Is this?”

Varric: “Yes, everything back to normal. Still think she is 'all smiles and cuteness', Sparkler?”

**Cullen:“We need a _better_ plan, than 'storm into the throne room and face that bastard'!”**

**Kira: “No time, we need to act _now_!”**

Dorian: “Eh no, I get the point.”

Sera:“Did I miss something?”

**Cullen:“There is _no reasoning_ with you!”**

**Kira: “Oh _shut it_ Cullen!”**

Cassandra: “You wouldn't believe it!”

Sera: “Piss, I new it! Did I win?”

Varric: “Not yet.”

**Cullen: “Don't make me _carry_ you out of here!”**

**Kira:“ Try it!”**

Dorian: “As much as I enjoy a good fight, should we...?”

Varric: “Would you like to be caught in the middle of _those_ two?”

**Cullen:“Don't _tempt me,_ woman!”**

Dorian: “Perish the thought.”

**Kira: “Coward!”**

Dorian:”What did you mean with, 'did I win'?”

Leliana“We are betting on who will make the first move.”

**Cullen:“We are _leaving_ end of story, move! Now!”**

Dorian:“Who's favourite?”

Varric: “Even.”

**Kira: “Never!”**

Dorian:“Count me in.”

...

 

Cullen stared in disbelieve at the spot where she had vanished only moments before. She was gone, disappeared into nothingness, gone. They had lost their only hope of closing the breach of saving the world.

 

“Size them Venatori!” he heard Alexius shout, but it sounded far, far away.

 

He closed his eyes, he could still see her, how she looked when they stormed into the throne room of Redcliff Castle, her icy blue stare fixed on Alexius, loose red curls tumbling down her back and shoulders, moving like living flames with every turn of her head. How she looked when she opened her eyes after her slumber, the warm deep blue eyes, the smile on her red lips.

 

“Cullen!” he heard Cassandra shout at him, she grabbed his shoulder and shook. Fighting sounds rose around him.

 

He kept his eyes shut. He could still feel her, the way she felt when he held her, warm and soft, her tender skin beneath his fingers. He remembered the way _he_ felt when she called him by his name, for the first time. When she touched his cheek with her fingertips, her breath on his neck when she held on to him, desperately. The feeling of her magic when it wove itself into his broken flesh, tingly and warm.

 

“Curly!” this time it was Varric's voice. “We need to get out of here!”

 

He wouldn't move. He could still smell her hair, it smelled like flowers in a summer breeze, her breath sweet, like honey. Her skin and sweat when she held him close, while the demons trashed against her magical barrier, like the fresh and salty air coming from the ocean on a hot day.

 

The sound of fighting rose around him, metal against metal, steel against steel.

 

He could still hear her voice, full with rage when she attacked the demons, full with anger when she shouted at him, full with emotions when she hummed a song.

 

He would never hear it again, he would never feel her again, smell her, touch her. They had lost her, they had lost everything. He had lost her.

 

He opened his eyes.

 

He grabbed his shield from his back, raised his sword and attacked. It didn't matter anymore.

 

She was gone.


	15. Dorian's decision

“This is the same amulet he used before, I think It's the same one we made in Minrathous. That's a relief.” Dorian said, looking at the green glowing square in his hand.

“Will it work?” Kira asked in a cold voice.

Dorian frowned at her, she had become more and more distant and cool while they were trapped in this damnable future, there was nothing left of the woman he had seen waking up in the Commander's arms, and it got worse since they learned the fate of Sera and Cullen.

Her eyes were hard stones of an electric light blue colour, her jaws clenched tightly together, lips pressed into a thin line, and she was literally fuming with magic.

_Well, no wonder, demon army's, dead Empress's, crazy Magister's, end of the world, who wouldn't change, knowing that the world's sake depends on one's hand. Literally._ He thought.

“Give me an hour to work out the spell he used, and I should be able to reopen the rift.” he answered as confidently as he could.

“An hour? That's impossible! You must go now!” the future Leliana shot at him in a raspy voice.

She also had nothing in common with the woman he had met outside of Redcliff the day before, or one year and day, considering that they _where_ in the future right now. She had aged considerably in that short time, looking rather like a walking corpse, than the lively woman he new.

Before he could say anything in return, the castle shook, walls trembling, debris and dust raining down at them. They heard an earth shuttering roar coming from outside the castle. She was right, they had not time.

“The Elder One is coming.” Leliana said banefully.

Dorian _clearly_ had no intention in meeting this ominous Elder One, they all kept talking about. He started to work on the amulet immediately.

“You have to hurry, this...is bad.” he heard Varric say from beside him, as if he needed to be told. If they just had more time left.

As if reading his thoughts Varric added. “We'll hold the main door. Once they break through, it's all you, Nightingale.” He and Cassandra turned towards the door.

“I can't let you die, here!” he heard Kira's trembling voice.

He looked up at her. There was clear pain in her abruptly dark blue eyes, before the 'ice' crept back over them. _It's a shield._ he thought, suddenly understanding. He had heard about this kind of magic, but never seen it done before. _How much must she have been through, to shield herself off, so completely._ He thought sadly, but there was no time to feel sorry for her, they had to get back into their timeline.

“Look at us. We're already dead. The only way we live is if this day never comes.” Leliana retorted, and her words send a shiver down his spine.

“Cast your spell.” she added towards him.”You have as much time as I have arrows.” And she went to position herself between the two of them and the door.

He'd almost figured it out, when he heard the sound of fighting coming from behind the great door. The amulet began to glow, in green and yellow lights, rising up from his hands to hover between him and Kira. Her gaze was fixed on the door and she bit her bottom lip. He could see that her eyes kept changing colour with every blink of her eyelids. She was clearly struggling with herself.

The fighting grew louder, and they heard Leliana recite the Chant of Light.

“Though Darkness comes, I am shielded by flame.”

The door burst open.

Dorian tried to concentrate, it was almost done, he reached for his magic to power up the amulet as he heard Kira gasp. She started to whisper the words of the Chant in unison with Leliana.

“Andraste guide her, Maker, take her to your side.”

He looked up at her. She was shacking vigorously her hands clenched into fists at her side, it seemed too take all her willpower to stay where she was. 

Dorian could hear them die, one by one, as the amulet rose even higher between them. The first was Varric, shortly followed by Cassandra. He dared not look, all he needed to know was written in Kira's features. In her deep blue eyes, which _not once_ turned away from her dying friends.

The enemies drew closer with every passing moment, and he doubled his efforts of opening the rift. Leliana suddenly screamed in pain, and he saw Kira taking an involuntary step towards her.

“You move, and we all die!” he shouted at her, the pain and conflict he could see in her eyes, tore at his heart.

The rift opened finally, blue bolts of electricity rippled along the green and yellow lights. Kira stood frozen, eyes glowing wet with tears.

“No!” she suddenly screamed in pain and sorrow, as they heard Leliana cry out one last time. He didn't need to look, he knew she was dead.

Dorian reached out when Kira suddenly started to run towards the approaching dark spawn, she turned sharply, when she felt his hand closing around her wrist, their eyes met.

The look in her eyes, the need to protect her friends and the indomitable will to fight for them, to avenge them, even here, where all was lost, impressed him, greatly.

And _that_ was the moment he made his decision, if they made it back, if they would have the chance to change the future, to prevent this scenario from ever happening, he would follow this woman.

Wherever she went.

…

Kira could still hear Leliana's last scream, she could still see her friends die for her, when she stepped out of the rift, closely followed by Dorian.

The fighting that took place in the grand throne room stopped immediately, as all eyes turned towards the two Mages. Her gaze swept over the crowd before the dais, until she found her friends standing right in the middle of the large room. Her eyes found Cullen's golden ones, starring up at her in utter disbelieve. She let out the breath she wasn't aware she was holding. 

_They are alive_ . She thought as relieve flooded through her.  _He is alive_ .

 


	16. Leanna and the lullaby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen and Kira go for a walk when...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your comments and kudos.
> 
> And special thanks to Minion54 for her help with this chapter.

They strode along the silent encampment. Everyone, except the guards he had set up for the night watch, seemed to be vast asleep. It was peaceful, the air was cool and refreshing, but not chilly, he could hear murmurs of quiet conversations coming out from some of the tents. Kira was walking beside him, so close that he could feel the warmth radiating from her body.

His mind wandered back to the events of the day past. He still couldn't believe the shock and relief he had felt, when he saw her walking back out of the rift, tall and bright, unharmed, and beautiful. It had taken him a moment to realize that he wasn't dreaming, that she was  _real_. That  _she_  was back.

He was so glad to see her again, he didn't even complain when she offered the mages an alliance with the Inquisition. They had to talk about it of course, but not tonight. There was still too much to process, the things Dorian had told them about the future worried him greatly, but what really unsettled him was how silent and distant Kira was. She hadn’t spoken since they departed with the mages from Redcliff.

That evening, when they sat in a small group around the campfire for supper, she had barely eaten anything, though she surely had to be starving, after days caught in that strange slumber. He had watched her the entire time, until she handed her almost untouched plate over to Sera and stood up without a word, heading into the night. Cullen caught Dorian's eye, the Tevinter seemed as worried as he was, and both men had looked at each other for a long moment, before Cullen finally rose to follow their Herald.

She still didn't say anything when he caught up to her, he was concerned for a moment that she would just send him back, and tell him she wanted to be left alone, but she didn’t. Instead she slowed her steps, waiting for him to catch up and fall into step beside her.

Cullen didn't know what to say to her, so they just walked silently side by side, until they heard the thin voices of children drifting out of a small tent to their left. Kira stopped in the middle of the path, cocking her head slightly to the side, listening to their whispered conversation.

“What will happen to us now?” he heard from the frightened voice of a young girl.

“I don't know, the older mages say we are now part of the Inquisition.” a boy answered her.

“What does that mean? Do we have to fight for them now?” another girl asked with a shaking voice.

“I don't think so, they need help to close that green light in the sky,” the boy answered her seemingly unsure.

“And after that? Do you think they will let us stay? Or will they send us back to a Circle, or hand us over to the Templars?” the first girl asked, sounding even more frightened.

“Probably.” the boy answered her gloomily.

“I don't want to go back to a Circle, or the Templars.” the second girl said voice trembling with fear.

“Maybe the Lady Herald will let us stay, she is also a mage, maybe...” the first girl broke off.

“You heard what the older mages said about her, they are all frightened of her. I don't think she will let us stay, we are too young to be useful.” the boy retorted hotly.

“I'm not frightened by her, and we are not useless.” the second girl announced.

“Maybe we should run away,” the first girl suggested.

Kira suddenly moved toward the entrance of the tent, she hesitated for a moment before she pushed the cloth aside to enter, Cullen following close behind.

The inside of the tent was lit by only one small candle standing on a wooden box in the middle, the soft light casting large shadows on the wall. Three children were sitting around the box; all were clad in Circle novice robes. The boy of presumably ten years, with shaggy hazelnut brown hair and eyes, stood up as they entered. His eyes widening in shock, as he realized who stood before him.

“La-dy Her-ald.” he stuttered, suddenly afraid.

“No one will run away.” he heard Kira say softly. It was the first time he heard her speak, since they had left Redcliff. Her voice sounded so tired and sad.

“Have you come to hand us over to the Templars?” the first girl asked, swallowing hard as her wide green eyes fell on Cullen.

He tried to smile at the little tawny haired girl, but she sat frozen, obviously scared of him. Before he could say anything to her, Kira moved towards her, dropping to her knees before the girl.

“No one will send you away, least of all me. You are save here.” she said, voice calm as she reached up to brush the girls blond strands back from her face. The children all turned to look at her at once, hope and fear mingling on their small faces.

“But...” the boys eyes looked up at Cullen. Kira followed his gaze.

“He is not a Templar anymore, he won't hurt you.” she said looking up at him. “Cullen, sit down! You’ll scare them if you keep towering over them like that.” she shot at him with a smile.

Cullen followed her order without question. He found a sturdy looking box near the entrance and sat down on it, smiling at the children before him. He could see them relax slightly, but they kept eyeing him warily from time to time. He'd never been good in handling children, they were so small compared to him, and he never new how to address them properly. He reached up to rub the back of his neck awkwardly.  _At least she is smiling again_ , he thought.

Cullen listened while she talked to the children in a soothing tone of voice, asked them about their names, where they came from and how they had gotten to Redcliff, reassuring them that they would not be sent to a Circle or the Templars, after the Inquisition closed the Breach.

After a while they seemed to believe her, and asked questions of their own. She answered them patiently, smiling calmly all the while.

“You're so nice.” the second girl, with soft gold brown curls, called Lillian said suddenly. She clasped her little hand over her mouth and blushed.

Kira laughed, a low and full sound, which made his heart swell up in his chest. She seemed more at ease than he had seen her in days, in weeks even.

Seeing her sitting between the children, send his mind back to his own childhood, he remembered how he and his three siblings sat in front of the small fireplace in the kitchen of their fathers farmhouse, while his mother sat in her favorite chair, reading stories to them, of heroes and dragons. The memories made him feel suddenly homesick, he missed his siblings and his home, but it was all gone now.

Their farmhouse near Honnleath had been destroyed by darkspawn during the fifth blight, his siblings and mother managed to escape, but it was a close call, while he was captured by demons and blood mages in Kinloch Hold, unable to help them, unable to help himself. They wouldn't recognize him anymore; the boy that sat laughing in front of his mother’s feet, was also long gone.

The memories of his torments in Kinloch Hold welled up inside off him, he tried to push them back, when he heard her voice.

“Cullen?” Kira asked concerned. “Are you alright?”

He looked up at her, her eyes had widened and she studied his face intently. He became aware of the fact that he was gripping the hilt of his sword, his hands were shaking, and cold sweat rolled down his back. He took a calming breath, trying to relax and let go of his sword. He simply nodded towards her; he didn't trust his voice in that moment.

Her frown deepened at she looked as if she wanted to say something else, but before she could do so, Alina, the youngest of the three children scrambled up into her lap, drawing her attention towards her.

“Can you sing us a lullaby?” she asked shyly, looking up to Kira with her big, green eyes, cuddling closer.

Kira hesitated for moment, looking back at Cullen, still concerned with what she had obviously seen in his features. He tried to give her an encouraging smile. It didn't work; he could see it in her eyes.

“I ehm..” she began, still looking at him.

“Please.” the three of them looked at her with big puppy eyes.

 She sighed audibly. “All right, but only if you promise me to go to sleep immediately afterwards.”

“Yes.” all three of them said eagerly, crawling into their bedrolls at once.

She smiled warmly down at them, tugging the blankets close around every child. When she was satisfied that they all would stay warm for the night, she sat down again and began to sing. Her voice, soft and warm, clearly rose and fell with the tunes of the lullaby.

Cullen recognized the song, it was the same she had hummed when she healed the gash in his thigh, only hours before, it was the same his mother used to sing every night, he realized as he recognized the words she sang. How could he have forgotten? 

Lay down your head,

and I'll sing you a lullaby

Back to the years,

of loo-li lai-lay,

 

And I'll sing you to sleep,

and I'll sing you to tomorrow.

Bless you with love,

for the road that you go.

Kira lifted her hands palms pointing upright. Her fingers and hands began to glow in a soft bluish light, and suddenly tiny snowflakes began to fall down from the ceiling of the tent, swirling around her as she continued to sing, catching the light of the candle, they glittered like little stars.

May you sail fair;

To the far fields of fortune,

With diamonds and pearls,

At your head and your feet,

Not that long ago he would have been scandalized by such use of magic. Mages weren't supposed to use magic like that. Magic exists only to serve, not to play with it. He felt ashamed of the man he had become, more so, as he saw the faces of the children lit up in amazement, they had clearly never seen such magic, he had never seen such magic. Truth be told, he had never spend a lot of time with a mage before, for many different reasons, until  _she_  came into his life. He still remembered how he had felt when he thought he had lost her, and his heart clenched at the thought of it.

And my you need never,

to banish misfortune.

May you find kindness,

In all that you meet.

She guided the little snowflakes over to the children, they hovered and swirled over their heads, and he heard them giggle in delight, eyes wide in awe. Cullen smiled at their happy faces, thinking this magic wasn't dangerous. This was different, and  _she_ was different. Maybe she really was sent by the Maker, maybe the people where right in calling her 'The Herald of Andraste'. He had doubted it before, he was full off doubts since Kirkwall, but there was hope, he realized.

May there always be spirits,

to watch over you.

To guide you each step of the way.

To guard you and keep you,

save from all harm.

Loo-li,loo-li,lai-lay.

Cullen made himself more comfortable, leaning back against a wooden pole behind him, closing his eyes and letting his mind drift, while listening to her beautiful voice.  _Yes_. He thought,  _there is hope, even for me_.

May you bring love,

and my you bring happiness.

Be loved in return,

till the end of your days.

 

Now, fall off to sleep.

I'm not meaning to keep you.

I'll just sit for a while,

and sing loo-li, lai-lay.

 

Suddenly a new voice joined with Kira's, deep and full, vibrating at the end of every word. He opened his eyes, confused. A woman stood in the entrance of the tent. He had been so deep in his thoughts he hadn't even heard her enter.

The woman standing before him was tall, midnight black hair fell in thin strands over her shoulders and back, and her emerald-green eyes were fixed on Kira. He could hear Kira's crystal clear voice waver for a moment, and her deep blue eyes widen in shook, before both women sang the rest of the lullaby together. Their voices mingled into a perfect harmony of lighter and darker tunes.

May there always be spirits,

to watch over you.

To guide you each step of the way.

To guard you and keep you,

save from all harm.

 

Loo-li,loo-li,lai-lay.

The song ended an Kira rose slowly to her feet, shaking visibly, her eyes brimming with tears as she regarded the woman standing before her.

“I should have known,” the woman began. “That I would find you surrounded by children again.” she smiled.

“Leanna?” he heard Kira whisper, pain and sorrow flicker over her delicate features, and suddenly she burst out into tears, falling to her knees, shaking with silent sobs.

Cullen rose instantly to rush to her side, but the woman, Leanna, was already there, kneeling beside Kira and pulling her into a tight embrace. She brushed the red curls out of Kira's face and rocked soothingly back and forth.

“I'm sorry...I couldn't...I tried... the Templars...” Kira said, breath hitching at every word.

“I know.” Leanna whispered, tears flowing down her pale cheeks as well. “It's not your fault Kira.”

“If I'd been stronger...” Kira finally got out between the sobs. “They... _she_  would be still alive.”

“Hush, she wouldn't want you to blame yourself, neither do I,  _you_  survived...that's all what matters now.” Leanna whispered back at her, placing a kiss on Kira's forehead.

Kira's glittering eyes went wide and she buried her face deeply in the other woman's shoulder.

Cullen didn't know what to do, he felt totally out of place, he could handle her anger and insults, but he wasn't sure if he could handle her tears as well, the sight of her kneeling on the floor, shaking and sobbing, made his heart bleed.

He stood frozen for several moments, before he finally shrugged out of his heavy black cloak, kneeling down beside the two women he placed it over Kira's shaking shoulders. When his fingers brushed lightly over her arms, she suddenly turned and threw herself into his arms. Utterly surprised at her reaction he somewhat hesitantly closed his arms around her, holding her gently against his chest. He kept smoothing down her hair, while she continued to sob into his shoulder.

“Will she be okay?” he heard Alina asked concerned.

He looked up to see the little girl standing a few feet away from him; she was wringing her hands together, seemingly unsure of what to do. Cullen gave her a reassuring smile.

“Now she will be,” he said, knowing it was the truth as soon as the words left his lips. Reaching out to the little girl, he indicating her to come closer. “Come here, little one, I won't bite.”

She giggled and then she couldn't hold herself back any longer, she threw one little arm around his neck and one around Kira's shoulders, hugging both of them tightly.

A moment later he felt himself being pulled back as two more children wrapped their arms around his chest and neck, pulling him down with their sudden weight until he laid on his back, tangled in to many little arms and hands and smiling faces. He looked up to see Kira hovering over him, eyes wide in shook, but she had stopped crying, she blinked several times as she took the scenery in.

Then she began to laugh, loud and full.

“The Great Lion of Fereldan.” she said grinning wide. “Overpowered by three little children.” and she laughed again, and he joined her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Lullaby is not mine of course
> 
> Artist: Secret Garden  
> Song title: Sleepsong  
> Album: Earthsongs
> 
> Lyrics by Brendan Graham  
> Vocals: Saoirse 
> 
> If you want to listen to it here is the link
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_cdXNWD1VY&list=PLxVBFbImFx20Kf7DEtWJRTIFLO3rUCOGD&index=11


	17. Revenge is sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sticking with the story guys.
> 
> And thanks again to MINION54 for her invaluable help.

Kira was sitting at the campfire, near the lovely mountain lake they had found the night before. She was preparing porridge for breakfast, while Varric went to gather more firewood. Dorian made coffee and Cassandra put on her usual armor. Only Sera and Cullen were missing.

The sun was already visible on the horizon, painting the sky in a soft red and violet color, which mirrored in the still and clear water of the lake. It was a beautiful sight, but instead of enjoying it like the rest of her companions, Kira kept starring at the entrance of Cullen's tent. He wasn't up yet, and that was unusual for him, he had always been there when she woke, preparing breakfast and lighting up the fireplace, waiting for her to come out and join him at the fire. He always smiled at her when she sat down beside him, that lovely smile of his, where his scarred lip curled up on one end of his mouth. She loved that smile; it made her feel...warm, but today he hadn't been there. Was something wrong with him?

She remembered the look she once saw on his face, the way he had trembled, reaching for his sword. Something showed up in his eyes that night, something she couldn't name, but it worried her.

She knew about his nightmares, everyone in their little group knew about the Commander’s nightmares, and she knew he wasn't willing to talk about them, she understood why. She wasn't ready to talk about her’s either, not to him, not to anyone, but that was different somehow.

Kira felt better after that night, when she finally found Leanna, and couldn't hold back her tears any longer. And of course, as if that wasn't bad enough, of all her friends, of all the people in Thedas, Cullen had to be there, holding her and keeping her from shattering completely. Kira let out a sigh; it was still a little embarrassing to say the least.

After that, they had become friends, sort of; you couldn't break down in one’s arms and pretend you don't like him. And she liked him, maybe more than she was willing to admit. She even went as far as to ask her companions about his past, some part of her wanted to know more about him, more about the Templar he once was.

Cassandra had lent her a copy of 'The Champion of Kirkwall', which looked to be stabbed in the middle by a knife. At Kira's questioning look, Cassandra only rolled her eyes, saying something about an argument between her and Varric. Kira had wondered what kind of argument included stabbing an innocent book, but hadn't asked further.

She had read the tale several times now, she was aware that Cullen had turned against his own Knight-Commander in the end, fighting along side The Champion of Kirkwall, a mage of all things. The fighting in the Gallows had been bloody, and both sides had suffered greatly. In the end, the First Enchanter Orsino had turned into a frightful abomination, Knight-Commander Merideth into a statue, after attacking the Champion of Kirkwall with a red lyrium infused sword (Serves her right, that evil bitch).

She knew he had to have a reason to leave the Templar Order; he didn't strike her as the man that would make such a life changing decision lightly. Was what happened in Kirkwall the reason he had left the Order, or was there something else behind it? Was Kirkwall also the reason why he had stopped taking lyrium?

Kira had known off it for a long time now, it was one of the first things she had recognized about him, and the main reason she had allowed him to stay near her in the first place. Kira was able to sense the lyrium in the blood of a templar, much like Cassandra, though she wasn't able to do anything with it. And she was glad that he had stopped taking it, for much more reasons than that it made him less of a templar.

 

Kira disliked the feel and the song that lyrium produced, she always had, it affected her differently than the other mages, her magic did not require that much lyrium. For the mages in her Circle, her magic had seemed limitless because of it. That's why they avoided her for the most part. So she had tried to hide it, had kept her emotions in check, her temper under control, for the most part, held back her potential, to at least seem normal, because she did not want the templars to find out what she was capable of. She did not want to be tranquillized or executed for the simple fact that she was...different.

Only Varric, Cassandra and Solas, had seen her unleash her full potential once, when they stormed into the templar encampment in the Hinterlands, she would never forget the look on Cassandra's face, when they finally dragged her away from the last survivors, shock, mingled with something that looked very much like fear. This was the reason for her to make the promise not to harm those, willing to join the Inquisition.

What would Cullen think of her, if he had seen her fight, that day? He wasn't a templar any longer, but would he like a mage like her, if he knew? Would he still look at her the same way he did in Redcliff Castle? She didn't even want to guess. Kira cast that thought aside, it was useless to ponder over such questions, and it was fairly unlikely that she had to fight templars again, any time soon. As far as they knew they had retreated to a place called Therinsfal Redoubt, and were, at least for now, no worry.

“Waiting for the Commander, are you?” Dorian asked her suddenly, smiling at her, breaking her line of thought.

“I am, ehm, no,” she answered him, tearing her gaze away from Cullen's tent, busying herself with handing out small wooden bowls to everyone around the campfire.

“Then why are you blushing?” Dorian laughed.

“I'm not-”

A sudden scream coming from Sera cut her off and she turned to see Cullen emerge from his tent, a kicking and screaming Sera hanging over one off his broad shoulders. He wore  _only_ his well-worn black leather pants, and Kira could see the muscles of his chest tighten as he shifted the little elf into a more secured position, holding her with one iron strong arm pressed against his shoulder, while his other arm kept her legs from kicking in more sensitive, areas.

“Finally, I caught you, you mischievous little beast!” He exclaimed laughing. Kira new that he had been her favorite victim when it came to pranks. She had warned Sera, to better leave him alone, but obviously she did not heed her warning, as usual.

“I just wanted to wake you, sleepy head!”

“Of course” he answered dryly. “By dropping a lizard in my boots.... again.”

“You tricked me, you've been awake the whole time!” she accused him, struggling vehemently against his hold on her.

“Yes.”

“Unfair!”

“No.”

“Lemme go you big brute!” Sera shrieked, her tiny fists drumming against his bare back.

“No chance.” Cullen retorted, with a wicked smile on his face “I have enough of your little pranks. You missy, are going to take a bath.”

“What?!! Nooo!!!” Sera yelped.

Cullen turned and marched, determined, towards the lake. They all looked at each other with raised eyebrows before they followed close behind him. His 'walk of revenge' was greeted with cheers and laughter from the people that gathered at the side of the path, obviously victims of Sera also.

“Buttercup!” Kira could hear Varric shouting with obvious glee. “I told you, he’d catch you one day!”

Sera just glared at him, her cursing extraordinarily colorful.

“He wouldn't really throw her into the lake, would he?” Kira asked him.

“Looks like it.” Varric answered, grinning broadly. “We better get some blankets.”

As Cullen reached the shore of the lake, Sera began to scream loudly, doubling her efforts to free herself. Without slowing down he plunged into the icy water. When he stood hip deep in the lake he came to a halt.

“If you drop me now…” Sera threatened in a last attempt to stop him. “I'll tell Blinky to freeze your aaaaaaahhhh-”

The rest of her words were lost as Cullen let himself fall head first into the water, dragging Sera down with him under the surface. Laughter and cheers erupted around them, as both off them emerged from the lake.

Sera was shivering violently, but Kira didn't even notice, her eyes where fixed on Cullen, the sight of him walking out of the lake, caught her breath, and made her heart beat faster. His hair was disheveled, his golden eyes glinted wickedly, as he drew nearer, she could see tiny drops of water falling down on his broad shoulders, running down his chest to the hard planes of his stomach.

He looked... _gorgeous_. She suddenly remembered the feeling of his body pressed against hers, and a too familiar heat began to rise up inside of her.

Kira wasn't inexperienced in  _that_  area, there had been two or three mages, who had been brave enough to approach her, in a more,  _intimate_  fashion. They told her she was beautiful, and some other nice things before they went to find a more secluded place, where she mostly ended up pressed against a wall or a bookshelf. It had been satisfying enough for the most part, though it had never been that breathtaking, as other girls in the Circle used to describe it, and there where no kind of tender feelings involved, just raw pleasure, and not much talking, for which she was grateful.

But the sight of him, standing a few feet away from her, the play of his muscles under his skin, let something stir up inside of her, a fire, a  _longing_  she hadn't felt before. She bit her bottom lip, dragging it along her teeth, while she let her gaze roam over his form.

How would it feel like to scratch her nails over his bare wet skin, to press against the hard planes of his body? How would he look like hovering over her, his golden gaze fixed on hers and... _.ohhhh._  That goes to far. She thought, looking away quickly. He was their Commander, a warrior, a templar! She couldn't afford to think of him like... _that_.

“Oh don't blame yourself, he _is_  a really handsome looking man, I might say.” Dorian grinned at her, placing an arm over her shoulders. Kira blushed immediately. Had her thoughts been that obvious? She cursed herself silently.

“And you are not the only one.” he whispered in her ear, gazing in the direction of a group of young women, who seemed positively  _eager_  to catch the Commander's eye, waving and calling his name. Cullen smiled back at them, looking almost shy at their obvious attraction to him.

Her eyes narrowed at the sight of it, and she felt a pang of...jealousy? Impossible. Why would she care if he smiled at these...these...foolish girls.

 

Kira huffed, maybe a bit too loudly, as she turned around to find Sera standing beside her, still shivering and looking rather like a recently drowned cat, eyeing her suspiciously. She suppressed the urge to role her eyes, and instead rubbed her friend's wet and cold shoulders.

“Come on, let's find you a towel and dry you off, before you catch a cold.”


	18. Closing the Breach

They began with the preparations for closing the Breach, at once, after they finally arrived in Haven. Kira, Cullen and Leanna stood before the remains of the Temple of Sacred Ashes, waiting for Solas, and the mages, he had chosen for the task.

Cullen was pacing back and forth in front of the entrance to the Temple, seemingly nervous, muttering under his breath.

“He looks like a caught lion, ready to pounce, or roar, any moment, what's wrong with him?” Leanna asked Kira, looking at Cullen, raising an eyebrow. “I've never seen him like this.”

Kira glanced back over her shoulder. He really looked like a lion, she thought, with his usual red and black coat, lined with black fur, rising in a proud ruff around his shoulders, like a mane. His powerful steps, though seemingly impatient, carefully measured. Everything around him seemed to scream predator, and the sight of him thrilled her more than she would admit.

“The Breach makes him nervous.” Kira answered absent minded, still looking at Cullen. Why did she always end up admiring him in the oddest of situations? She needed to concentrate on the task lying ahead of her, not to revel in the looks of a templar, especially  _not_  a fucking Templar.

“Cullen!” she shouted back at him, more annoyed over herself than actually unnerved by him. “Stop that, you're making me nervous!”

“Oh good, you should be!” he snapped back at her. He glared at her, clearly irritated. Kira suppressed a shudder, ignoring the fire that sparkled inside of her, and the quickening of her pulse, at his rough tone of voice.

“What's your problem, Commander?” she smirked. She couldn't help herself. They had gotten along so well lately,  _barely_ shouting at each other. Kira realized that she had missed it. He had always been good for a fight.

“This whole plan!” Cullen retorted, pointing at the Breach above, as if that would explain everything, he shook his head in exasperation, at her expression and resumed his pacing.

He had been grumpy, ever since Solas explained how they would proceed with the mages, powering her up with their combined force, so she had enough magical power to close the Breach. Cullen didn't like their plan, but his objections had been overruled.

“What is it  _this_  time?!” Kira asked faking annoyance, letting out a sigh. This could be fun, and it would soothe her tension.

“The same as  _last_  time! I don't like the idea of powering that  _thing_  up, we don't know what will happen if we infuse even more magic inside the Breach, it could widen, explode, rip open, anything. The templars-” he cut himself of, they had had that discussion before, and it ended in an awkward silence in the war room.

Kira new that Cullen preferred the templars, in helping her with the Breach, weakening it, so her own, quite remarkable, powers would be enough to close it. But she had discarded his idea immediately, even without her past, she wouldn't have agreed to his plan. The mages had been the safer option for her, no one would notice the amount of magical power she alone could wield, she did not want them to know, yet, especially  _not_  Cullen.

The last time, she was here there had been fighting and confusion, and the mark of course, so no one seemed to question her abilities, except Solas, he knew everything, but since he had never been a circle mage she trusted him with the knowledge, and he hadn't betrayed her trust. Asking her all kinds of questions about how her abilities work, what she could do with them, how she found out. She had told him everything, every little detail, and she was positively thrilled that he didn't seem frightened by her, but genuinely interested.

He had told her, that the elven of old had called mages like her 'Athisa Inan', and that they were some kind of peacekeeping guardian, whatever. They had also sometimes been revered to as 'the children of the moon', she could only guess why, but she suspected, it had something to do with the way her eye's looked like when she released the boundaries on her magic. She liked the sound of it however, at the very least, she now knew, that there had been others like her.

She feared if Cullen found out what she was, he would look at her differently, maybe in the same way as the templars in her circle had done, or as Cassandra once had, though she had never told anyone, neither had Varric which was the reason Kira thought of them as one of her closest friends.

They had never spoken of it, yet she could see that Cassandra kept a certain distance to her when fighting, flinching back from her touch sometimes, though there wasn't that fear in her eyes anymore, just caution. She couldn't blame her for that and Varric clearly didn't know enough about mages to see the subtle differences.

Cullen stopped his pacing, when she deliberately stepped into his path. He crossed his arms over his chest, his brows bumped together into a scowl as he looked down at her. She mirrored his actions, lifting her chin up to meet his eyes. He was so breathtakingly handsome when he was angry.

“The templars have never been an option to me, as you very well know.” Kira said calmly, a slight frown building on her forehead, she sensed that something was wrong with him, really wrong, that he wasn't just angry about her decision, as usual. Up close, she could see the fear behind his hard amber gaze, it was very well concealed, but he couldn't hide it, not from her. This was no time for playful fights with him, something was wrong and this was serious.

“Yes, you've made that  _very_  clear.” he said in low tone of voice, almost growling. Breaking their eye contact he looked up at the Breach again, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

“But still,” he rubbed the back of his neck and suddenly slammed his eyes shut, pain flickering over his face. That caught her immediate attention. She disentangled her crossed arms, fighting the urge to touch his face.

“Your headache again?” she asked voice softening instantly.

She hadn't expected him to be in actual pain. She knew he had headaches from time to time, probably because of his lyrium withdrawal and he always tried to hide them, it must be really bad if he let his discomfort show like this.

“It's nothing,” he mumbled, rubbing his forehead.

“It doesn't look like nothing.” Kira urged, obviously worried she stepped closer, reaching up to cup his cheek. “Shall I-?”

“No!” His eyes shot open, and he yanked his head back before she could touch him, catching her hand with one of his own. His golden eyes flashed up for a moment but softened slightly, when he saw the confusion crossing over her face at his sudden reaction.

Kira tried to withdrawal her hand from his grip, anger flaring up inside of her, but he held on, keeping her from turning away.

“No.” Cullen tried again, his voice softer this time. “You’ll need all of your strength to close the Breach, don't waste it on my account.” he added quickly in an attempt to explain his rough refusal of her offer to heal his headache. She eyed him suspiciously.  _That_  certainly wasn't the real reason behind his outburst.

“Fine” she said tartly, yanking her hand out of his grip, turning away. If he didn't want to talk about it...

He caught her elbow, effectively stopping her from storming away, though his touch was gentle. He had always been gentle, when he touched her, as if he feared she might break. It surprised her consistently, how someone  _that_  strong, could be capable of such tenderness.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...it's just that.” He sighed, seemingly at a loss for worlds to explain his discomfort. She felt the rest of her anger fade away, at his words.

“It'll be all right Cullen, trust me,” she said without turning, it sounded almost like a plea, in her ears.

“The mages have arrived.” Leanna informed them, before he could say anything in return.

He let go of her elbow and took a step back. They could see Solas walking towards them, Cassandra at his side, with at least thirty mages trailing behind them. The mages all looked shocked at the destruction around them.

“Are you ready?” Solas called out to her.

“I am. Let's end this.” she called back, glancing back over her shoulder at Cullen, his expression was unreadable as he regarded her with his honey colored eyes. He gave a short nod, and then turned to enter the Temple.

….

Kira placed herself in the middle of the ruin, a few steps away from the curtain of green light coming down from the Breach above.

Cassandra positioned herself to her right, and Cullen to her left, while Solas arranged the mages into a wide half circle around them, mindful of the fact that no one should stand before her, to see the way her eyes would change. Solas had talked to her about it, and they had agreed that it would be unwise to let them see, the blue glow that would appear. She had showed it to him once, and he agreed with her, that they would think her possessed of a demon or spirit.

Pushing her worries aside she closed her eyes, breathing evenly and concentrating on the task that lay ahead of her. Last time, the effort of closing the big Rift, had weakened her tremendously, but this time she wasn't alone.

“They are ready.” Cullen informed her, his voice sounding controlled, but calmer than before. “Do you need anything else?”

“No.” she answered him calmly, then opened her eyes to look at him. “Make sure to keep a certain distance.”

He blinked once, looking worried again. “It will be alright Cullen.” she smiled, trying to soothe him.

“It'll be alright.” he echoed her words with a short nod, more to remind himself, than to reassure her, it seemed.

Kira turned to look up at the Breach above, raising her hand and letting the mark in it flare up in a bright green glow. Cassandra flinched slightly, but to her surprise, Cullen didn't. She suppressed the urge to look at him once more and took a step forward instead.

“Focus past the Herald!” Kira heard Solas voice rising behind her. “Let her will draw from you!”

Kira banned all distracting thoughts from her mind as she stepped into the green light that flowed down from the Breach above, when she had entered completely, she raised her marked hand, palm pointing upwards. Eyes closed again, she waited for the connection to build between the mark and the Breach.

When she felt the, now familiar, tug in her hand, indicating that the connection had been completed, she released the boundaries on her own magic, letting it flow through her blood, unrestrained and powerful. It enveloped her completely, whirling around her, growing in intensity with every heartbeat. She could feel the other mages, one by one, adding their magic to hers, she connected it with her own, intertwined it with the power of the mark, until the song that build inside her head reached it's crescendo.

Her skin began to tingle, her breath quickened and the power, once again, threatened to tear her apart. And once again she held on until the very last moment.

When she couldn't endure the rising pressure inside of her any longer, Kira ripped her eyes open and with a loud cry she released the force that had build up inside off her body, it flowed out of her in a dizzying rush, clashing against the Breach. It lit up in a blindingly green and yellow light. The Breach trembled, and the earth at her feet began to shook in response. With a last effort she threw everything she had left against the Breach, worrying for a heartbeat it wouldn't be enough, but it was. With a thundering boom, the Breach closed shut, sending a shook wave that threw everyone around her to the ground.

Kira felt drained, as she dropped her hand, her shoulders slummed down and she swayed precariously. She felt one strong arm wrapping itself around her waist. She recognized it instantly. Cullen stood beside her, holding her pressed against his side, steadying her, with his arms and his presence. She looked up at him in surprise and met his warm gaze.

“Did you think I'll let you fall?” he smiled, obviously seeing the astonishment in her eyes.

Kira smiled back, allowing herself to lean against him, closing her eyes and enjoying the feeling of his firm body against hers, the sensation of him pressed against her so tightly suddenly send such a bolt of heat through her, she felt her breath quicken immediately.

Kira pushed away from him suddenly afraid. Standing straight again, she turned slightly to face him. Instead of letting her go completely, as she had expected, Cullen's hand came to rest at her hip, big fingers splaying wide. He let his thumb brush over her hipbone and his grip subtly tightened, when he felt her tremble ever so softly.

The sensation send electric ripples running through her veins, her pulse began to race and her heart clenched in her chest, there was a soft tingling inside of her stomach. He was so close now that she could feel his warm breath on her face...too close. She kept her eyes focused on a small scratch on his breastplate. She feared if she looked into his eyes now, she might do something  _very_  stupid.

“Give me a moment,” she whispered, her voice trembling.

“Are you alright?” he asked, his voice low, almost a whisper, there was a slight husky undertone she had never heard before. Oh no, she definitely wasn't all right, but it had nothing to do with the effort of closing the breach. She had to go, this was dangerous territory.

With great effort, Kira took a step back, then another, Cullen let go off her hip fingers brushing along the leather fabric of her coat, and for split second she wished he hadn't, she wished... _No_ , she couldn't even think of it,  _this_ could never happen.

She cleared her throat, looking sideways. “The others are waiting, we should go back to Haven.”

“Of course.” he answered, voice unreadable. She could feel his eyes on her, almost burning through her. She turned her back to him, and suppressed the almost overwhelming urge to run away; instead she went with carefully measured, and painfully slow, steps over to Cassandra, forcing a smile on her face


	19. Dancing, Kisses and Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *chuckles* Hope you like it.

The music was loud and laughter rose up all around Kira as she stood a little sideways from the dancing and cheering people of Haven. She leaned against the wall near the tavern, hidden between the shadows of the building, watching. Even the templars and mages joined the celebration, and for once, they weren't fighting but laughing, sharing drinks, and dancing around the large bonfire.

Kira spotted Leanna dancing with a fierce looking, dark haired templar, she whirled gracefully around the fire, her straight hair flowing around her, like black waves, with every twist and turn she made. She was laughing brightly while her partner, more or less, stumbled over his own feet trying to keep up with her. It was awkwardly adorable and Kira had never seen Leanna this happy in a long time. She smiled at the pair, so unlikely matched, but things had been changing, and maybe this was the start to a new and brighter future for all of them.

Her gaze flickered over to Cullen, where he sat on a large log near the fire, surrounded by the Chargers. Who obviously tried to make him drunk, while he only shook his head, grinning broadly at their futile attempts to engage him in a drinking game. Even now, with the Breach closed and everyone around him celebrating, he was still too obstinate to have some fun.

Kira chuckled silently, shaking her head, when a tall figure blocked her view of the Commander.

“Here you are, everyone's looking for you.” Dorian said with a large smile on his devilishly handsome face. “Are you hiding? Let's get out there and show you off a little.”

“I'm not used to this kind of attention, and...”

“Ah nonsense.” Dorian bowed, low and elegant, reaching out a hand in offer. “Are you willing to have some fun and present me with at least  _one_  dance?” his brown eyes twinkling with amusement.

Kira's smile widened at that and she took his hand stepping forward. “Since you've been the first to ask me this, yes.”

Dorian arched an eyebrow in disbelief. “Well than, it's my honor to lead you to your first dance, my lady.”

She laughed when he stepped in besides her, offering the crock of his elbow to her, like a real gentleman. She slapped his shoulder playfully. “I'm not a lady,” she mumbled almost shy, and intertwined her arm with his.

“Yes you are, my dearest.” Dorian grinned while escorting her off to the fire.

Dorian was a very good dancer, leading her effortlessly through the intricate steps of a dance, which she assumed was Tevinter style. She followed his lead, through small twists of his hand and light pushes of his hip against hers. It was easy with a partner like him, and she felt more like flying than actual dancing.

They twisted and turned gracefully around the fire, he swirled her in so many turns, that her head started spinning and her heart raced with the effort to keep the pace. She laughed loudly, when he caught her hips and lifted her up, easily, turning three times, before setting her back on her feet. Dancing was a sort of freedom for her, it always had been, though she had never danced with a man before. She really enjoyed this new experience.

After Dorian, she danced with Bull, who also surprised her. Despite his overwhelming size he spun her, equally elegant, around the fireplace. Though his hands did not always stay in appropriate regions. She had to slap his broad shoulders several times, when he, by mere accident he assured her, cupped one of her bottom cheeks with his big hand.

She was nearly breathless with giggles, when Blackwall tapped Bulls shoulder, grinning wide, and asking for the next dance. He danced much slower, holding her with one hand at the small of her back and the other extended to the side, with a very appropriate distance of their body's. They talked a little, after she regained some sort of control over her panting breath. She had not had much time to talk to him before, and she was eager to get to know this warden, since he was part of her little family now.

_Family, is this what it is like to have a family?_

Kira's cheeks were flushed bright red, and her stomach hurt from all the laughter. When the dance was over, she thanked Blackwall and stumbled over to the nearest sitting opportunity. She found an empty log near the wall, and slummed down on it, resting her back against the wall, grateful for the steady feeling of it. She felt dizzy and happier than she had felt in a long time.

Kira closed her eyes blissfully and inhaled deeply, trying to calm her racing pulse, when she felt someone beside her, a presence she knew  _very_  well by now.

“Commander” she said without opening her eyes, a sly smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“Herald” Cullen's voice drifted over to her. By his tone she could tell he was smirking. She felt him sit down beside her, leaning against the wall and letting out a small sigh. “I thought you might need a drink, after the show you delivered us.” he remarked.

Kira opened one eye to look at Cullen; the smirk on his face grew bigger, when he offered her a large bronze cup with a pale amber colored liquid.

She looked at it suspiciously. “What is  _that_?” she asked looking into the cup, before taking it out of his hand.

“I don't know, Bull gave it to me. I haven't tried it yet. He said it is from his personal storage, and  _you_  should try it. It would...I'm definitely not going to repeat  _that_.” He chuckled, the tips of his ears turned slightly red and he tried very hard not to look at her still heaving chest.

“Ahh.” she said frowning slightly at the sight of his now blushing cheeks. She wondered what Bull had said to him to make him blush like that.

Kira looked over to Bull, he was watching them, grinning broadly from ear to ear. He raised his own...well...small cask, in salute. She raised the cup in answer and nodded towards Bull, lifting it to her lips, sniffing at the content. It smelled like, honey with a hint of herbs she didn't know. She had not much experience with alcoholic drinks, but she could tell that it wasn't simple ale.

Kira shrugged, it couldn't be so bad to try it, and everyone was drinking today, so why not. She took a generous mouthful of the liquid, swallowing instantly, realizing her mistake a little too late.

It  _burned_  its way down her throat, sending heat gushing through her blood, her cheeks flushed immediately in a bright red color, and she felt a immediately light headed. This wasn't ale, this was...she started to cough vigorously and her eyes filled with tears.

Cullen laughed good-naturedly, rubbing her back while she continued to cough, ringing for air. “Well, I guess I was right  _not_  to try it.” he asked obviously gleeful.

Still coughing Kira handed him the cup. “Oh no...your turn...you gave it to me...you drink it with me.” she brought out between panting breaths. She would not let him get away  _that_ easily.

“I shouldn't. I'm on du-” he tried to decline.

“If you don't drink Cullen, I will ask Bull for help. He can hold you down while the Chargers empty a whole cask over your head.” she threatened, squinting up at him, while tears ran down her face.

He laughed at that, his awkward barking laughs and shook his head. “You wouldn't do that.” he chuckled.

“I would. You know that I would.... Oh come on Cullen don't be such a prig.” she sight. “Have some fun for once.”

Cullen watched her closely, tapping one big finger against the cup. “I’m not a prig,” it sounded a little hurt. She felt the alcohol reaching her brain, making her feel reckless, and idea struck her.

“Let's make it more interesting shall we? If you are able to drain that cup, I will grant you a wish.” she offered watching him intently, that seemed to get his attention. His head snapped up, eyes shining brightly with sudden amusement.

“What kind of wish?” He asked, clearly contemplating her offer, the half smile returning to his face, her stomach lurched at the sight of it.

“Anything.” she said daringly. What could he wish of her, a week without shouting? Pff…She wouldn't lose anyway, no one could drink a whole cup of that stuff in one draft, in one evening, except Bull maybe.

“Fair enough.” he finally agreed, a mischievous smile forming on his lips. “If I win.” he hesitated for moment. “You'll let me finish what we started long ago.”

“What do you mean?” she asked suspiciously.

“You remember that night, when Sera interrupted our...conversation.” he blushed, but his eyes found hers and held them fixed.

“You mean?” her voice faltered, at the memory of that almost kiss in the camp, so long ago, it seemed to be another life's memory.

He nodded, a sharp tug of his chin. “If I win, I am going to kiss you.” he said in a low tone of voice. Kira's breath hitched, and she felt heat rising in her cheeks and ears. “Still want me to drink it?”

“Fine.” she agreed as confidently as she could. She wouldn't lose; he was to well behaved to be much of a drinker. ”But If  _you_  lose.” she lifted her index finger to tap against her cheek in contemplation, though she already knew what  _she_  wanted. “You run one round around Haven...naked.” she concluded smiling like a fox. This would certainly raise moral, she thought. And she _really_  wanted to see him naked, she had to admit. Void take her, she would enjoy every second of it.

Cullen lifted the cup up to his lips, with one last glance at her, and he took several long swigs. Kira's eyes went wide, and she looked at him in eager anticipation, grinning from ear to ear. He would falter, every moment. He would...he would....

Cullen sat the cup down on his knee, smacking his lips, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Yep, that's Liquid fire.” he announced after a few moments, tilting the cup. It was  _empty_. She stared at it in utter disbelieve, mouth hanging open.  _How could he?_

He laughed at her expression. “Did you think a warrior can't drink?” he lifted an eyebrow at her, still laughing.

Despite his words, his cheeks began to flush and his eyes glittered wet in the light of the fire, like molten gold. He reached out to place his index finger under her chin, snapping her jaws shut. She blinked several times up at him.

His golden eyes dropped down to her full deep red lips.

“I think I won,” he murmured, running his thumb over her bottom lip.

Her heart skipped a beat at the sensation of his sword-rough finger gliding over her silky lip. Cullen's gaze was still fixed on her lips, as he drew nearer, slowly and deliberately, giving her every chance to retreat, if she had changed her mind about the bet, but she didn't.

“You cheated.” she repeated, voice weakening.

“Oh?” he whispered, tilting her head up a little.

Kira licked her lips, and held her breath, her heart thrumming in her chest, like a young bird's wings on his first attempt to fly.

_He is going to...he really meant it...Andraste preserve me._

His eyes flickered up, meeting hers, shining amber on dark sapphire. His fingers unfolded, brushing over her jawline, feather light, tickling her delicate skin. The world stood still, all sounds drawn out; only their shallow breathing remained.

_I should tell him. I must. He needs to know, before…_

“Cullen?” she whispered.

“Mhmm.” he mumbled.

“I need to tell you some-”

Their noses brushed together, and he tilted his head down, fingers brushing down her neckline, leaving a trail of burning sensations. She was lost, no way to retreat, no words to speak, mind blank of all thoughts.

His breath fanned over her slightly parted lips, she smelled the honey from the drink. Their lips brushed together, softly, tenderly, only a whisper.

Her heart stopped beating entirely. She felt his hand tangling in her hair, pulling her closer against his lips, and she moved willingly, closing her eyes and surging into the kiss, giving up everything, all doubt, all worries, all restraints. A low moan escaped him as his mouth claimed hers  _fully_ , his lips moving slowly against hers, in careful and easy motions.

She heard a bell ringing inside off her mind, and the world shattered and built anew inside of her. It felt right, it felt more than right it felt... _perfect_.

His tongue brushed against her lips, once, twice, in soft and delicate strokes, teasing, coaxing her to open for him, and she did, gladly. Their tongues glided together in flowing movements, tasting, exploring. He swallowed the little noises she made eagerly. The taste of him, sweet and luscious, send ripples of warmth running through her.

She felt her magic stirring up, warm, soft and tenderly, rushing through her blood, singing with the incredible joy she felt, engulfing her, stretching father, searching, seeking, wanting more, more of him. She felt like bursting, unable to hold it in she let it go, let everything flow, it washed over him, tentatively drawing him closer.

He breathed out inside off her mouth, a sound of surprise escaped him, but he did not withdraw from her. She inhaled his breath, mingling it with her own, something clicked inside of her, and a rush of sensation started to run through her mind.

The singing of her magic grew louder, melting with his own rising harmonies, enabled through her magic, it turned into a song of utter beauty, the song of the lyrium still lingering in his blood slightly disharmonious, was blown away by it, leaving only him and her, their very essence, their very souls, linked together in perfect harmony.

His other hand came up, knuckles caressing over her cheek, when he deepened their kiss even more, longingly, almost desperately now, clinging to her, and she responded in kind. Sucking his tongue, gliding over it with hers. Her hands came rest on his broad chest, clutching the collar of his armor for purchase. She was melting into his touch, into his kiss. Time stood still at last, nothing else mattered.

She felt like finally coming home, like finally finding the part of her that was missing, he completed her song, he completed her soul.

_I've found you again. Void take me, I've found you._

He cupped her cheeks with both hands as if he had heard her silent revelation, thumbs brushing over her cheekbones, brushing away the tears she wasn't aware she had shed.

When they finally parted, he rested his forehead against hers, opening his eyes to meet hers. His pupils were blown wide, black pools rimmed by golden sunlight, shimmering brightly. She breathed in a ragged breath and smiled.

They did not speak, there were no words to describe what just happened between them. Something tugged at the back of her mind, but she brushed it aside, unwilling to let this moment pass, to let the world start turning again.

Despite her efforts the feeling grew, tugging insistently, drawing her out of this warm and safe place, between times, between worlds.

 _Danger, there is danger coming._ The warning flickered through her mind.The world started moving again, and she was thrown back into herself, into her life. She shrank back from him, eyebrows drawn together; he looked as confused as she felt.

 _Move, they are coming._ Another warning sent her jumping to her feet, looking around wide eyed, everything seemed to be normal, their people were still laughing and dancing, cheering. No one seemed to have noticed anything odd.

Kira cocked her head to the side, listening intently; the uneasy feeling grew with ever heartbeat.

“What's wrong?” she heard Cullen say beside her, tone worried. He had also risen to his feet, alarmed by her behavior.

“Something's wrong, something's coming.” she answered, absentmindedly reaching out to place a hand on his chest, seeking comfort in his steady presence.

“What do you mean? What is coming?” he demanded, looking around.

“I don't know. I can feel it. It's close,” she repeated, eyes darting from side to side, senses stretching farther and farther. The feeling came from over the mountains surrounding Haven. It felt like...lyrium...No...red lyrium. But why would she feel it?

“What-”

The alarm bells started to rang over Haven, a low and dreadful sound lingering in the air. The music stopped and everyone jumped to their feet. Confusion rose around them. A messenger came running up to Cullen, one of Leliana's scouts, almost stumbling over his own feet in his haste, saying something to him, but his words were drawn out by the rising voices of the crowd.

Cullen drew his sword, looking suddenly angry and fierce.

“Forces approaching! To arms!” he boomed over the chatter of the people around them. With a last confused look at her, he started running towards the gates of Haven.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hang in there, uptdates are coming, I just have to work 7 days a week right now, 15 days in a row, and I am writing several chapters ahead right now. It's slow going but I'll uptdate as soon as i can.


	20. Siege of Haven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize, really, I'm sorry for this

“I can't come in unless you open!” a strange voice called, coming from behind the vibrating gate doors of Haven.

“Who's there?” Cullen demanded, raising his sword.

Kira ran passed him before he could stop her, opening the gates. He cursed and started to follow her.

_Reckless woman!_

As the gates swung open. A Knight Templar stood before them, clad in iron from head to toe, swinging a broad battle-axe.

Kira let out a sharp hiss beside him, and he stepped in front of her holding his sword at the ready, but before he could attack, the knight grunted, a shudder ran through him and he crashed with a loud clang to the ground.

Behind him stood a thin boy, a bloody dagger in his hand, clothed in brown leather breeches and a simple green linen shirt, his face was covered with an enormously wide leather hat.

_He must have been the one seeking entrance._

Kira stepped around him, giving him a dark look with her icy blue eyes, a warning he knew, but he ignored it. He turned to the boy before them.

“Who are you?” He commanded, not lowering his sword. The boy ignored him completely and stepped up to Kira instead.

“OH!” the boy exclaimed snapping his head up to look at her closely. “You're like me, and then you’re not.” he stated.

_What?_

Cullen looked puzzled, without further explanation the boy went on. “I'm Cole. I came to warn you. To help. People are coming to kill you. You probably already know” he concluded voice sounding a little unsure.

“What is this? Who is coming?” Kira asked him sounding, frightened? He never heard her being frightened before. It alarmed him more than anything else would have done.

“The templars come to kill you.” the boy said gloomily.

Kira's eyes widened in shock, before they narrowed into slits. “Templars!” she hissed, the word sounded like a curse coming from her mouth. “They never leave me alone!”

“Is this the Order's response for our talks with the Mages? Attacking blindly? Cullen raged, he couldn't believe it, he simply couldn't believe that his former brothers would attack the Inquisition, right after they closed the Breach.

“The Red Templars went to the Elder One.” the boy explained, glancing back at Kira he added, “You know him? He knows you. You took his mages.”

The boy, Cole, turned to point at a hill farther down the valley, where the army of Red Templars advanced. “There.”

Cullen drew in a sharp breath at the familiar sight of the man standing atop the hill.

 _Samson_ , he thought darkly. He hadn't seen his former friend in years, not since he had been cast out of the Order for helping a mage deliver letters to his loved one. Cullen had tried to convince Knight-Commander Meredith to redeem the order of exclusion, but she had only laughed into his face, telling him, that he could join his friend if he brought it up one more time. He had kept quiet after that, fearing to join Samson's fate. Cullen wasn't proud of the man that made him.

“I know that man.” he finally got out, casting away the memory and feeling of shame. “But that Elder One...” He trailed off, staring at the figure appearing through black smoke beside Samson. He had seen darkspawn before, but none of them had ever looked like this.

“He is very angry that you took his mages.” Cole continued.

“Cullen!” Kira urged behind him, her voice sounded desperate. “Give me a plan! Anything!”

He turned towards her. Kira's light blue eyes had widened at the sight of the Elder One. She looked terrified, trembling slightly.

Cullen suppressed the urge to gather her up into his arms and whisper words of comfort into her ear. He knew she wouldn't take that kindly, not in front of all off their people, not even after... Not now Rutherford, stay focused. He chided himself, before the memories of the blissful moment he had just spent with her could distract him.

“Haven is no fortress.” he explained to her. “If we are to withstand that monster, we must control the battle.”

She looked up at him, nodding slightly, still he could see the terror raging in her eyes. “Get out there and hit that force!” he commanded. “With everything you can!”

That somehow shook her back to reality, she straightened, reaching for her staff, which was strapped against her back. He could see her mouth the words he had just spoken. “With everything I can.”

Kira turned around to face her companions. Who stood lined up on the walls outside of Haven, shook and disbelief showing on their faces. “Bull, Sera, and Varric.” she pointed at the trebuchet standing behind the training area. “You protect the workers, see that you get out as many shots as you can, slow them down, until I return.” The three of them nodded.

“You have plan, pumpkin?” Varric asked as he passed her, readying his crossbow.

“I do, hold them off the gates as long as you can.” Kira instructed. “Keep them safe Bull. I would be very cross with you, if something happened to them.”

Bull's mouth widened into a confident smile. “As you say Boss.” They hurried away swiftly, accompanied by the trebuchet crew.

“Cassandra, Solas, and Dorian, you're coming with me. We will protect the other trebuchet, farther down the road. The rest of you stays at the gate.” She turned toward Cullen again. “I need someone to calibrate the trebuchet.”

He nodded waving for the second crew to join them.

Cullen turned towards his troops, while she hurried in the other direction leading her group down the road.

 _Maker watch over you_. He thought with a last look over his shoulder.

The first of the templars could be seen now, engaging the group working at the trebuchet in view.

Cullen addressed the mages that gathered near the gate looking unsure of what to do, considering their attackers were templars after all.

“Mages!” he bellowed. “You have sanction to engage them!” he turned towards his troops, pacing along the front lines. “That is Samson. He will not make it easy!

Cullen lifted his sword above his head. “Inquisition! For the Herald! For your lives! For all of us!” he shouted, before he charged at the head of his army towards the advancing templars.

…

At first he felt a pang of sorrow, having to fight against his former brethren, but the sound of the strange red lyrium coming from them, drove that feeling out of him very quickly. The red lyrium had changed them, like it had changed Knight-Commander Meredith back in Kirkwall.

_No! This is even worse!_

His eyes fell on a strangely contorted templar, it seemed that the lyrium grew out of the man, his bare chest was glowing dusky red and Cullen could see the lyrium flowing through his veins crossing in thin lines all over his body. It was grotesque, it was bizarre, and it was _horrifying_. The man, that Horror, attacked him immediately.

_Maker! What have they done!_

Cullen raised his shield to fend of the blow, grunting with the effort. Before sinking his sword into the templars chest, it vibrated, singing with the song of the Red Lyrium. He felt nausea rise inside of him, and quickly retreated his sword. The thing groaned and fell to his knees. As soon as Cullen's sword left the contorted body, the wound started.. _.healing_! He couldn't believe what he saw.

_This can't be happening! Andraste preserve us!_

Cullen swung his sword in a mighty blow, cutting the head off the once-templar, the body went limp and slumped to the ground.

_At least they still can be killed!_

He observed the battle raging around him, searching for his next target, taking in the scenery. There were too many of them, he saw his soldiers die rapidly, cut down with swords, axes, claws, spikes. The Red Templars were stronger, faster, and far more powerful than they should be. The mages fighting alongside him were overpowered in short order, almost none of them could withstand their templar abilities. They were losing ground quickly.

The trebuchet, Bull and his group had been protecting was destroyed. He spotted them fighting at the edges of the attack. Varric's crossbow and Sera's bow never stopped loosing arrows at the enemy, while Bull's massive battle-axe cut down every advancing templar that came to close to the archers.

Another red templar blocked his view of the three fighting companions. Cullen cut him down quickly, strong as they may are, he had enough strength left to hold them off.

His gaze found Blackwall and Vivienne fighting back to back, he with his sword and shield, she with her staff and magical sword. Blackwall protected her from the swords and daggers whenever a templar managed to struck a mental blow against Vivienne, quenching out her magic for a moment, before she was able to wield it again. The picture of them sent and idea forming in his head.

“Rylen!” he shouted at the top of his lungs.

“Over here Commander!” came Rylen's answering call. Cullen turned to find his second-in-command standing near the gates, shouting orders at their officers, overviewing the battle.

“Team up the soldiers and our templars, with the remaining mages! Make them fight together in pairs!” Cullen bellowed. Rylen nodded and went immediately to work. Sending the mages out with two or three soldiers to guard each off them.

It did not quite turn the tide in their favor, there were still too many red templars flowing down the hills and roads toward Haven, but it stabilized there position for now.

_Whatever you've planned Kira, do it now!_

Cullen thought, desperately wishing she was still alive. He couldn't bear to think of her right now, what might have happened to her, and he threw himself back into the battle, cleaving his way through the red templars at the front line.

In that moment, Kira's trebuchet went off, he saw the rock fly into the direction of the snow covered mountains close beside Haven. As it struck, it sent a huge avalanche tumbling down the mountainside, burying a great part of the enemy's army and cutting off their reinforcement. She had bought them some time. At least for now.

Cullen joined in the cheering that rose around him, feeling stronger by the knowledge that she must be alive, that there was hope.

He continued to fight against the enemy, with knew found strength, inspiring his forces to do the same, by shouting encouragement and leading them on, striking down every attacker before him, but the waves of templars did not stop advancing, there were still too many left in the valley above where the avalanche had struck. They were still losing too many soldiers, too many mages, and too much ground. They had to retreat, they couldn't hold on any longer, but everyone left standing to fight off the attack, while the others fled, would be sacrificed.

Cullen clenched his eyes shut, well then... “Sound the retreat!” he shouted over his shoulder back to Rylan.

“Commander?!” Rylan's voice sounded unsure.

“I will hold them off as long as I can! Get them back behind the walls, Rylan! Now!”

Rylan blew into his horn, indicating their forces to fall back. Cullen readied himself, for his last battle, to die by the hands of those he had sworn to serve the rest of his life, how fitting. A dark smile crossed his lips. If he could just see her one more time. He took a deep breath, beginning to recite the Chant of Light in his head.

 _Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter_ ,

_Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just._

_Blessed are the righteous, the lights in the shadow._

_In their blood the Maker's will is written._

Not everyone left his side, quite a lot of his soldiers and templars stayed behind. He was surprised to see Bull appear beside him, as well as Blackwall.

“You didn't think we let you have all the fun, did you?” Bull laughed, a bellowing sound, while he split the head of an advancing knight, blood splattering across his broad and bare chest.

Blackwall joined in the laughter, and the three of them advanced further into the ranks of the enemies, fighting them back with battle cries and steel, shield's and blood. Bodies of red templars began to pile around them, but more were coming where others fell, it seemed an endless wave of red.

_Let the blade pass through the flesh_

_Let my blood touch the ground_

_Let my cries touch their hearts_

_Let mine be the last sacrifice._

He must have said the words out loud, many of the templars joined in the Chant with him, repeating it constantly, their last prayer to the Maker.

“Those who oppose thee, shall know the wrath of heaven!” Cullen shouted out loud now, while cutting the attackers to pieces. His soldiers joined in, as they kept the Red Templars at bay.

“Field and forest shall burn. The seas shall rise and devour them.” a new and familiar voice joined in behind him. He turned his head to find Leliana, bow at the ready, an arrow flew past his ear, directly into the eye of an attacking Knight-Templar, puncturing his brain and sending him in a great cluttering mass to the ground.

Cullen smiled and nodded at her, raising his sword, he roared and savaged into the mass of red templars.

“Lightning shall rain down from the sky, they shall cry out to their false gods, and find silence.”

And lightning _did_ rain down from the sky.

Cullen stopped his furious attacks, as did everyone around him. They all watched in growing confusion as lightning, stroke after stroke, came down around them, striking into the ground, into the enemy, jumping from one contorted body to the other. The air sizzled with electricity. Cullen's hair at the back of his neck, on his whole body stood on end.

After the lightning had ceased, there came fire.

Icy blue fireballs shoot down from the sky, hot as the sun, bright as the stars blinking above their heads, crashing down with undeniable force, setting the templars on fire. Waves of heat washed over them, the light of the fire almost blinded him in its intensity, the smell of burned flesh, of melting metal, hung overwhelmingly thick in the air.

Then he heard it, clear as day, the melody that rose in his mind, the melody he had heard for weeks and months, but it had changed, it was stronger, more profound, and clearer as ever before.

His eyes widened in disbelieve and shock, never had he felt such an enormous amount of power wielded by only one mage. And there was no doubt that it was her, only her.

Cullen turned around very slowly and froze as he spotted Kira, standing in front of the gates.

Her head held high and proud, face surrounded by flaming red hair. Her eyes were glowing in an intense blue light. She looked fierce and fearless, strong and beautiful....and dangerous.

_Maker...What is she?_

The woman standing there was no longer Kirana Trevelyan, a circle mage...

The woman he thought he knew...

Who shouted at him more often than he could count...

Who was reckless and hot headed...

Who set his boots on fire on mere whim...

Who wouldn't listen to his plans and suggestions...

Who picked up a fight with him about bits and boots...

...

 _Now they know_...Kira thought darkly, a pinch of fear welling up inside of her, but she pushed it aside.

Watching Cullen and her friends fighting a losing battle to save their people, had been enough to forget her surroundings. To forget all caution, the need to hide her powers, her connection to the fade. It couldn't be helped now. She'll deal with the consequences later, when there was time, if there was time.

_It's not over yet, be prepared._

The voice in her head warned. They had always been there, the voices, always whispering, strangely comforting sounds, sometimes clearer, almost understandable. Never like this, not before the strange Mark on her hand appeared, not before Cullen kissed her.

It had opened something, a door she'd kept shut all this years, out of fear what she might become, what she might was. He had changed that, he had completed her song, made it stronger, made it more, made _her_ more.

_Yes child, hurry now!_

The voice cut in, bringing her back to the present. Another wave of Red Templars charged in from the lake side and attacked the small group standing there, watching her.

Kira ran towards them, staff at the ready, letting the magic well up again, surrounding her, lashing out at the oncoming enemy. Shards of ice left her outstretched fingers, swooshing past her friends into the bodies of the templars, cutting through armor and flesh, sharp as knifes.

The combined mental counter attack of templars threw her backwards into the muddy earth. She tasted blood on her tongue and spit it out into mud. Wiping her mouth she looked up to see a gauntleted hand extended towards her.

Cullen stood before her, sword in hand and shield strapped onto his back, an unreadable expression on his blood covered face. His eyes, bright pools of silver in the darkness lit by moonlight, were fixed on her face. The others already fought against the last remaining templars, cutting them down quickly.

Kira reached out to take his offered hand, eyes never leaving his. He pulled her upright in one fluid motion.

A loud roar cut through the air above them. Kira watched as a mighty dragon flew over the mountain tops to their left. Soaring above their heads before turning, wings spread wide, it hovered in the air. Flames nuzzled all around his massive jaws as it spit out a fireball aimed directly at them.

Kira was knocked out of the way before it hit the ground. She gasped when she hit the ground, looking up to see Cullen's body hovering over her, shielding her from the flames that erupted all around them. Her magical barrier sprang into place on its own accord, keeping the worst of the fire away from them. Still, the heat was almost unbearable and the stench of sulfur hanging in the air made it difficult to breath. When the fire finally ceased, Cullen rose to his feet, gripping one of her wrists in the motion and dragging her up with him.

They ran towards the gates of Haven, stumbling through. Cullen released her wrist and turned to shut the gates.

“To the Chantry!” he shouted. “It's the only building that might hold against...that beast!” He let out a desperate breath and shook his head. “At this point...just make them work for it.” he added.

They all moved at once, running the path up to the Chantry as fast as they could, while the dragon, or whatever it was, flew over their heads, again and again, spitting out crackling fireballs and setting every building inside Haven on fire.

Red Templars came climbing over the walls as they passed them. Kira stopped short when she spotted a woman dressed in a templar-recruit armor, fighting alone against four of them, holding them back while the villagers fled up the path to the chantry.

Kira reached for her staff and ran towards the woman at full speed. She released the boundaries on her magic once more, it flowed up again, stretching out to form a blue glowing shield around the woman, shortly before the sword of a red templar struck down to split her unprotected head. The sword bounced off the barrier, causing the templar to stagger backwards.

The templar-woman turned, eyes going wide, when she spotted Kira, skittering to a stop on the uneven ground, swinging her staff in a wide circle over her head and bringing it down with a thundering boom.

The shock wave, erupting from the tip of the glowing staff, clashed violently into the four enemies, sending them tumbling to the ground. The woman turned to face the red templars, sword flashing up in the light of the moon, cutting the head off one of them she straightened, holding her blood covered sword hovering over the bare chest of the templar, lying next to the one she had decapitated. She stabbed down with a grunt, leaning on the hilt of her sword, twisting it once it cut through flesh. He shuddered and went still.

The remaining two men had scrambled back on their feet, sword and battle-axe raised high, when two arrows struck them directly in the face. They slumped down, not moving.

“Thank you Herald.” the woman said simply, sheathing her sword. Kira nodded and turned, ignoring the stares of her companions, already running up the stairs to the upper levels of Haven.

Fighting of the red templars gathered at one side of the burning tavern as well, when she heard a voice coming out of the building, screaming for help.

Kira turned on her heels, ignoring the shouts of her still fighting friends and ran into the building. The smoke inside was thick and breathing was almost impossible. She shielded her face from the flames with one arm and carefully stepped over the debris scattering on the wooden floorboards, listening for the voice. She heard faint coughing to her right and crouched down, blinking as the smoke bit into her eyes.

_There!_

A woman lay on the floor, she knew her, Flissa the bartender. Kira crawled over to her, lifting Flissa's arm and placing it over her shoulders. Flissa coughed once more, leaning heavily on Kira as she stood up, dragging her with her to her feet.

“Herald?” Flissa's voice sounded sore from the smoke.

“Yes.” Kira answered shortly, dragging her towards an opening in the flame curtain as a wooden beam crashed down from the ceiling, cutting of their escape route.

“Fuck my luck!” Kira exclaimed enraged.

“We are trapped!” Flissa's voice sounded thick with tears. Her eyes had gone wide, despite the smoke and terror clearly written on her face.

Kira looked around, searching for another opening, there was none.

“I don't want to die.” Flissa whimpered, tears streaming down her face, leaving thin trails through her ash covered face.

“We won't, I won't let that happen!” Kira closed her eyes, drawing on her magic again, gathering it up and pushing it out. Opening her, glowing, eyes she could see ice forming a path out of the tavern. Flissa gasped in surprise when she looked at Kira's face.

“Your eyes-” she whispered.

“I know.” Kira turned her head to the side, hiding them.

They both stumbled out of the tavern, into the clean, cold air.

Bull appeared suddenly beside her, lifting Flissa's weight from her shoulders. He slung the slender woman over one of his massive shoulders. Bull nodded once at Kira, with a stern expression on his face, he turned to take Flissa up to the Chantry and the healers.

Looking around, Kira saw Cullen and Cassandra standing on the other side of the road. Each of them supporting, a half unconscious Adan, and a wide eyed Minaeve. Cassandra's face was composed a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. Cullen's expression was stony as he looked into her glowing eyes, revealing nothing.

Letting out a deep sigh, she turned her back on them. She climbed up the last stairs to the Chantry, where a pale Chancellor Roderick awaited them at the doors. He leaned heavily against the door, one of his hands pressed against his stomach, his face a mask of pain, waving them inside.

“Move! Keep going! You're the last!” he shouted, voice weakening.

Roderick's legs gave way and he slumped down. Cole appeared beside him, seemingly stepping out of thin air, catching the Chancellor before he hit the ground, supporting him on his way back inside.

Two soldiers came up to shut the doors, stepping in a wide circle around Kira, eyeing her suspiciously. They barricaded the entrance as good as they could.

Kira's gaze wandered over the people gathered in the Chantry, many were hurt, some of them gravely. Gasps of pain and muffled cries reached her ears.

Those not wounded, or tending to the wounded, eyed her with caution, or fear. She could hear some of them whisper in the dark corners of the Chantry. See them, sticking their heads together, speaking in hushed voices, shooting glances over their shoulders at her.

Her eyes fell on a small group of templars, standing at one end of the Chantry, open hatred written on their faces, showing in their eyes. She didn't recall having seen them before, they must have joined the Inquisition after she had left for Redcliff.

“Demon” she could see one of the templars mouth the word, a wicked grin forming on his lips.

_Yes, Demon. That's what the templars called me in the woods, that's what Lanson called me in the Circle._

Kira had dreaded this moment, the moment they knew. She had expected these reactions, had imagined them, even dreamed about it. She had braced herself against it, to be able to face whatever would happen if they finally saw her, really saw her for the first time.

Seeing her nightmares become reality, before her very eyes, was quite a difference. The feelings of dread, fear and sorrow, wrenching at her heart, ripping at her soul. Amplified, by the already dire situation they found themselves in, trapped in the Chantry. She couldn't breathe, her heart was racing, drumming against her ribcage.

_Trapped with those templars, no way to run, nowhere to hide. Too late....too late_

Kira dropped her eyes to the floor, biting her lip, and balling her hands into fists.

_What have I expected? That they would accept me? That they wouldn't fear me?_

Unbidden tears stung at her eyes, and she rapidly blinked them away. She wouldn't show them what their stares did to her and that she could hear the words they whispered in the dark. She would conceal her pain and fear, like she always had.

Kira took in a shuddering breath and reached for her magic. Right in that moment she felt a light touch on her shoulder and stiffened. Slowly her eyes went up to look directly into Cole's face. His enormous hat was pushed back slightly, revealing strands of light blond hair falling almost into his blue eyes. Eyebrows drawn together he eyed her with an intensity she had never seen before, it felt like he could see right into her core, reading her like an open book.

“I'm not afraid of you.” he said honestly. “So much pain, so much worry, let me help.”

“No, you can't.” Kira replied, voice catching in her throat. She swallowed hard against the lump that had built in her throat at his words. “You can't make it undone, you can't change what I am.” she blinked again, running her wrist over her eyes. “It doesn't matter anyhow.” Shrugging of his hand she let her magic well up, embracing her and steeling her from the inside out. Protecting her, even against her own feelings. It seemed to shut Cole out as well, his eyes widened, showing surprise and confusion.

“Herald” she heard Cassandra speaking up beside her. “That dragon-”

Anger rose up, when she heard that damn title, burning hot and relentless. Her eyes flashed up to stare right into Cassandra's face, cutting her off.

“I know Cassandra, we're trapped in here!” She couldn't keep her voice even, it trembled with rage.

“A dragon, looking like a _fucking archdemon_ flying over our heads!” her voice was getting louder.

“A _fucking army_ of red templars right before our doors!” Kira raged on.

_Herald of Andraste indeed!_

“Where is your _fucking_ Maker right now?!” She hissed.

Cassandra gasped at her last words, eyes widening in shook. Kira felt a pang of guilt, she didn't mean to leash out at her like that. Cassandra had been one of the few people that did not reject her after they had seen what she could do. It was unkind to treat her like that, and she felt ashamed.

“I'm sorry, Cass. I...” Kira turned her eyes away, her gaze scanning over the crowd once more, the last remains of the Inquisition.

She spotted Varric and Sera covered in dirt, backs slumped against the wall, they looked tired from the fighting, with hopeless expressions on each of their faces. They almost seemed to be praying. Were they Andrastians? She hadn't known.

Bull leaned against a stone pillar near them, surrounded by his Chargers, his face showed no feelings. Ben Hassrad training she supposed.

Blackwall sitting beside a dreadful looking Josephine, he whispered something to her and she burst out into tears. Leliana appeared almost instantly at her side, embracing her and rocking her gently.

Solas was busy tending to the wounded, his healing magic almost equal to her ability's. She would love to help him, but she couldn't. She was sure they wouldn't let her.

Dorian was pacing up and down before the altar at the back of the Chantry, shaking his head and talking quietly to himself, the wicked humor and self-confidence was gone from his features, leaving only a stony expression.

She couldn't protect them, she had failed again.

Vivienne stood beside some of the Templars she had brought with her from Val Royeaux, talking to them quietly, shooting glances over her shoulder at her. Probably planning how to proceed, should she turn into an abomination before their very eyes. They had never talked much, there had been nothing to say. She knew that Vivienne was one of the mages supporting the Circle's, while Kira would rather die than ever set foot in one again.

Rage flared up again, as she saw Vivienne with the Templars but it faded quickly when her eyes fell on Cullen, sitting on a bench beside the altar. He had bent forward, elbows resting on his knees, face covered in his big hands. He did not move a muscle just sat there, silently, probably praying to his maker.

Kira felt the almost overwhelming urge to go over and sit beside him, to snake herself under his arm resting her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, seeking comfort and protection in his presence.

She almost stepped forward, when a bitter feeling wrenched at her guts, he surely wouldn't want her near him anymore. The sense of loss and loneliness threatened to tear her shield apart and she fought to regain control over herself. Why did it hurt so much to think he wouldn't want to touch her again? Why did she even care about him that much? Why hadn't she told him before he kissed her? He wouldn't have done it, and she wouldn't have felt that _damn_ warm and overflowing feeling of...

“The Elder One doesn't care about the village.” Cole said suddenly, dragging her out of her thoughts. “He only wants the Herald.”

Kira took a deep calming breath and tore her eyes away from Cullen. Her shield had nearly burst at the last thought and she was more than glad for Cole's interruption. It took a moment before his words sank in though.

A trickle of hope rose up inside off her. Maybe there was still a way to get them out of here. What choice did she have anyway? Dying right here in the Chantry or going to the Elder One. The choice was easy.

“If he wants me he can have me, if that would save these people.” Kira exclaimed.

Cassandra took in a sharp breath and started to protest, but Cole spoke first.

“It won't. He wants to kill you, no one else matters, but he'll crush them, kill them anyway. I don't like him.” Cole continued.

Kira nearly laughed out loud at his last remark, but she didn't, she kept her face even.

“What else can we do?” she asked.

She felt _him_ before he even spoke up beside her, he must have overheard her rather loud conversation with Cassandra before.

“There are no tactics to make this survivable.” Cullen said in a voice rid of all emotions. “The only thing that slowed them was the avalanche. We could turn the remaining trebuchet's cause one last slide.”

“We are overrun. To hit the enemy, we'd bury Haven.” Cassandra spoke up suddenly.

“We're dying, but we can decide how. Many don't get that choice.” Cullen confirmed, his voice going slightly softer at the end.

“No, I can't do that.” Kira shook her head looking at the floor. The thought of killing all of them, of losing _him_ …”There has to be another way.” she insisted.

There was silence for a moment before Cole, looking over to the Chancellor sitting nearby, said: “Yes that. Chancellor Roderick can help. He wants to say it before he dies.”

The three of them walked over to the Chancellor. Kira crouched down beside him, her fingers twitching with the urge to have a look at his wound. Maybe she could help him?

She almost reached out when she saw Cole, shake his head slightly. She stopped the motion and settled back on her heels, eyes focusing on a blood stain on the Chancellors chest. She couldn't look him in the eyes. She was afraid of what she might read in them. He never liked her and always distrusted her. Why would that have changed?

“There is a path.” he began weakly, his lungs ringing for air. “You wouldn't know it unless you'd made the summer pilgrimage. As I have.” He stopped to take in ragged breath. “She must have shown me. Andraste must have shown me so I could...tell you.”

Kira's eyes flowed upward, but stopped at his mouth. There was a thin trickle of blood flowing out of it, he must bleed inwardly and into his lungs. She heard the rattle of liquid, whenever he took a breath.

“What do you mean?” she asked quietly.

“It was whim that I walked the path, I did not mean to start...It was overgrown.” he continued. “Now, with so many in the Conclave dead, to be the only one who remembers...I don't know...Herald.”

Kira’s eyes finally met his. They were mostly unfocused, and she saw no trace of fear or discomfort at her present. He only looked tired and...Peaceful.

“If this simple memory can save us, this could be more than mere accident. You-” a fit of coughs shook the Chancellors body and she saw blood speckle his robe, coming from his mouth.

Kira finally reached out to steady him, her eyes never leaving his, she lifted her shield for a moment, sending a trickle of energy running through her fingers into Roderick's body, strengthening him, soothing his pain, warming him from the inside out. He smiled at her weakly when he saw her eyes change to the deep blue color she kept mostly hidden.

“What about it Cullen, will it work?” Cassandra asked.

“Possibly. _If_ he shows us the path.” Cullen's voice came from behind her, she nearly jumped with the feeling that rippled through her and she quickly rose the shield again to keep it from spreading. “But we are almost out of time. I don't know if we can get everyone out of here before the Red Templars attack the chantry.” he added.

“He will show you, I gave him enough strength to last a couple of hours, until...” Kira answered, without looking back.

“Thank you.” she heard Roderick whisper.

With a last look at the Chancellor, she stood up. There was only one thing left to do.

“I'll fight my way out there and prepare the last remaining trebuchet, as you suggested, to give you more time to escape.” Kira announced, already on her way to the blocked doors of the Chantry, before someone could stop her.

For one heartbeat, she hoped Cullen would stop her, argue with her like he did in Redcliff, tell her not to leave, but he didn't.

Her heart sank and she dropped her head, bracing her hands against the door, before she started to remove the blockades. It confirmed her deepest fears, she didn't even know, until that moment that this was what she had feared most, all along.

 _Stupid girl! Mages and Templars are not meant to be together._ She chided herself. _And I fell for one in the end._

She nearly laughed at the irony of it, finally admitting what she had known for a very long time, but never allowed herself to think about. She felt almost relieved...almost.

Dorian appeared beside her, helping her remove the furniture, the soldiers had used to block the door. When she turned her head, she saw Bull on her other side, doing the same. She gave both of them a grateful smile. They worked together silently. When they were done she could hear Cullen's voice again.

“Inquisition! Follow Chancellor Roderick through the Chantry!” he ordered “Move!”

Kira turned her head, unable to stop the motion, to look over her shoulder at him. He stood with his back to her. Gesturing towards his officers and waving them on.

_Please turn...please...look at me Cullen, one last time._

The door swung open, startling her, when she swung her head around, she saw Varric standing before her, crossbow in hand, a grin on his face.

“Someone needs to watch this, to write about it, pumpkin.” Varric informed her, his grin widening at her surprised expression, though it did not reach his eyes. Kira fondly placed her palm on the dwarf’s cheek for a moment, smiling weakly, before she stepped out of the Chantry following Bull and Dorian down to the road.

Kira stopped after a few steps.

“We will let you know when we are above the tree line.” She heard Cassandra's voice coming from inside the Chantry. “Maker watch over you.” she added at last before she recited a piece of the Chant, barely audible.

“In the long hours of the night.

When hope has abandoned me,

I will see the stars and know your light remains.”

It was a good bye.

_This is it then._

Kira took a deep breath, reaching for her staff she closed her eyes and bathed her face in the moonlight for a moment. She had a goodbye too.

_I cannot see the path._

_Perhaps there is only abyss._

_Trembling, I step forward_

_In darkness enveloped._

And with that she rushed out into the night, meeting her fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is ready, it comes as soon as it is edited. Might take some time but hold on. It's getting better I swear.
> 
>  
> 
> I'ts April already Oo. I do plan on going on with the story, it might take some time though. so hang on. As soon as I have free time to spare I will be writing more stuff for you guys, promise. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and the lovely comments so far. 
> 
> ****
> 
> IMPORTANT NEWS: (April 2017) This fic is currently being rewritten and will be published as a collection to this one.
> 
> Hopefully see you soon.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooooo sorry I kept you waiting for so long, this chapter isn't fully edited but I thought you might still enjoy reading it :D

Cullen hurried down the pass into the makeshift camp, holding the half frozen Herald tightly pressed against his chest. He couldn't believe she had actually survived that avalanche.

 

“Solas!” he called out.

 

The apostate elf stepped out of a big tent they had put up to tent to the many wounded. He frowned at Cullen, clearly alarmed by the urgency in Cullen's voice. When Solas saw the bundle in his arms, his eyebrows raised up in wonder and he hurried towards him.

 

“How did you find her?” he asked, uncovering Kira's face from Cullen's cloak. Her lips were bluish and she had long bloody cut on her left cheek.

 

“Half buried in the snow, halfway to the pass. I had to dig her out.” Cullen answered, flinching slightly when he felt the elf's magic rising around him. Solas placed a green glowing hand on Kira's forehead, closing his eyes in concentration.

 

“Not where, Commander. How?” Solas asked again, eyes still closed shut, his frown deepened.

 

How in the Maker's name could he explain it?

 

 _I knew she wasn't dead because I could still feel her?_ _Not like in Redcliff were she was gone, really gone!_

 

 _That_ would sound absolutely insane. For all he knew it _was_ insane. Did the lyrium withdrawal finally take his toll? Did he go mad?

 

He had _known_ where to go, where she could be found, like he had been led by an invisible force. He had always been able to feel her presence when she was near, and hadn't worried about it _that_ much. But this? _This_ was something else entirely.

 

Since he saw her in front of the gates of Haven, with her eyes glowing, like blue fireflies in the darkness, this feeling had grown. It almost drove him crazy right then and there. The familiar melody so loud, so insistent, pushing him towards her, while his Templar senses had _screamed_ to reject her and everything she was. A mage. No. More than that. A magical being he had never encountered before. How could _he_ deal with that, with her?

 

And still, he couldn't stay away from her.

 

Cullen had been trapped between this two conflicting emotions. He hadn't been able to shake both of them, and it had distracted him greatly.

 

He'd barely been able to keep track of their conversation in the Chantry, and thus hadn't realized fully what she was about to do. That she would sacrifice herself for them, for him.

 

He vividly remembered how she had looked when she'd ran out of the Chantry, her red hair catching the light of the burning houses, illuminating it, until she had looked to be on fire herself. Maker forgive him, but she had looked like the reborn Andraste to him. He'd wished she would have turned one more time to look at him, but she hadn't.

 

 _How_ should he explain all this. The words to do so didn't exist.

 

“I-” he started sounding unsure.

 

“Maker! She is alive?!” Cassandra hurried over to them, dropping the bandages she had been carrying.

 

“Thanks to the Commander, yes. ” Solas announced, retreating his hand from her forehead.

 

“Her Magic is almost burned, we need to get her inside. Follow me.” He said urgently, turning to walk up the path to his own tent.

 

Cassandra's announcement had attracted some onlookers. The news that the Herald had survived the avalanche spread through the camp like wildfire, and soon they found themselves surrounded by people. Only Cullen's persistent glare kept them away.

 

Shortly before he reached the tent, were everyone else of the Inquisitions Inner Circle had already gathered, a group of templars stepped into his path.

 

“So the demon survived, how unexpected.” The man in the front said in a cold voice with a sneer on his face. “Just hand her over and be done with it, Knight-Captain.”

 

Cullen couldn't believe it. She had just saved all of them, had thrown herself against that Archdemon, against that Elder One, without hesitation. She was powerful yes, he had never met a mage with a greater ability to wield such amounts of magic, but she was also kind and caring. She had used her magic to save them, to protect her people. She was a hero not a threat, and she was definitely no demon. How dare they call her that? He gritted his teeth.

 

He spotted Bull and Varric to his left, both looking outraged by the Templars statement, as did most of the towns people. The mages around him, watched him intently. He could feel their magic buzzing in the air, whatever they thought of her, they would not give her over to the templars, neither would he.

 

He stepped towards Bull, handing the small bundle over to him. The Qunari watched him closely, scanning his face, whatever he read in his features obviously satisfied him and he nodded once before he took Kira out of his arms.

 

Cullen turned to face the man that had blocked his way. Drawing himself up to his full hight, he looked down at the man with his most intimidating expression.

 

“If you call her a demon one more time, I'll gut you myself from head to toe.” Cullen threatened, voice low, but it carried far. He wanted everyone to hear this. It seemed that the people around him held their breath in the sudden silence. “You have five seconds to get out off my sight!” Cullen added, glaring intently at the man before him.

 

“One”

 

“You can't be serious!” The Templar exclaimed outraged. “ _You_ off all people should know the risk of letting that dem-”

 

Cullen drew his sword, descending on the man in front of him, noting with great satisfaction that he retreated backwards, so did his man behind him, until they ran into a wall of angry towns people.

 

“Two”

 

Cullen could see out of the corner of his eyes that Bull had entered the tent with Kira. Immediately, there was a bunch of mages forming a wall around the tent, effectively blocking off everyone else who would try to follow her.

 

“Three”

 

The first Templar glared darkly at Cullen, one hand reaching for his sword hilt. Cullen watched his every movement with rapt attention. The rest of the Templars behind the first started to hurry past the people around them. Pushing their way through the crowd, accompanied by angry shouts.

 

“Four.”

 

The man in front of him turned without another word, following his man up the path to the mountain pass. Cullen caught the eye of Ser Barris, he looked as angry as Cullen. Barris nodded once, before he turned to follow the roguish templars, a large group of his own falling into step behind him. Cullen grinned with satisfaction _and_ relieve. So he wasn't the only one. Good.

 

When he turned around again, he found himself standing face to face, with Dorian. He regarded him closely, as if seeing him for the first time. They hadn't really talked much since they've met. The strange tevinter mage made him feel uncomfortable, his magic tended to buzz around him, much like Kira's did, but hers felt soothing on his nerves while Dorian's made him edgy.

 

The tevinter had never been a circle mage, had never needed to suppress the magic around him. Most mages he knew, felt more like they had been branded with a stigma. This and the presence of the templars in the Circle kept them from showing off like Dorian, and that was what he was doing almost _all_ the time. He clearly had no intention of holding anything back, neither his magic nor his opinions.

 

“What is it this time?” Cullen grumbled. His skin was prickling uncomfortable with Dorian standing so close to him.

 

“Oh nothing really, you just surprised me Commander.” the mage affirmed. “Here I came to the south, thinking every Templar, like you, would freak out if they happen to stumble over a 'Feroxi', but clearly I have been mistaken.”

 

Cullen frowned at the man before him. “A Feroxi?”

 

Dorian made a vague gesture to the tent where Kira was tended to by Solas right now. “That is what _we_ call _them_.”

 

Cullen looked puzzled before he remembered what Dorian once said in the Dungeons. It was something about a rare kind, and that they followed a very special mage. At the time he just thought Dorian was referring to her rather intriguing nature. Clearly he had been mistaken and he got the feeling, she had tried to tell him before he had kissed her.

 

After the troubling events of this night, he clearly could use some clarification on the matter.

 

“Soo, what is she exactly then?” he asked trying to hide his curiosity. Maybe this would explain, why he was able to pinpoint the exact location he had found her. He was good in tracking mages down, but not _that_ good. And maybe this would also explain the feelings he had when he'd kissed her that evening.

 

The memory of her soft lips against his, how she had felt, how she had _melted_ in his arms, how her magic had risen and surrounded them, it still made him feel a little dizzy, overwhelmed with an emotion he couldn't quite place. All he wanted to do was go over to the tent and sit beside her until she would wake.

 

“A Feroxi is...ehm. How should I explain this? A wild mage you might say. Their magic is slightly different than ours, it's harder to control due to the fact that they are closer to the fade. It's quite complicated, and many scholars have studied the relationship between _these_ mages and the fade itself. Their magic is much more ruled by their emotions than their _actual_ control over it.” Dorian tried to explain.

 

“Are you saying she has no control over her magic?” That thought actually frightened him. Uncontrolled mages _are_ a threat to everyone, and he had been trained to fight _exactly_ that. He tried to shake the uneasy feeling that gripped at his senses.

 

“No and yes. As I said it is complicated. Depending on the emotion the Feroxi _feels_ in the moment he or she releases his or her magic. The stronger the emotion the stronger the magic.”

 

Cullen looked more confused by the minute. Dorian sighed, scratching his head he obviously tried to find a better way to explain it. A way that would not lead to an utterly confused and maybe dangerous ex-Knight-Captain.

 

“You've seen her eyes change colour, haven't you?” Dorian asked him.”That is a shield some of them use to control their magic, and their emotions. I don't know much about it, she was the first I've met who actually used it frequently. She is very much in control Commander.”

 

Cullen relaxed a bit, but he still felt very confused. “What about that glowing eyes then?”

 

Dorian smirked. “That happens if they release all boundaries to their magic. A furious Feroxi with glowing eyes might be the last thing you see before you step before the Maker.”

 

“What if she turns on us then, what if...” he couldn't help himself, the former fear he had felt after the battle in front of Haven gripped him again.

 

Dorian raised a hand to stop Cullen from speaking.

 

“You _know_ her Cullen, you've seen her using her magic all the time. You just stepped in front of her, refusing to give her to the templars. I wouldn't have told you this otherwise. Do you _really_ think she would hurt someone _without_ a good reason?” his tone was genuinely honest and earnest.

 

“Besides you couldn't have wished for a stronger ally to fight that Darkspawn. I've seen her staring that thing down. You'll need her. I know you believe in the Maker and if I might be so bold to say, he has sent you the best weapon against a threat like this Corypheus.”

 

“That she is.” Leliana said, suddenly standing beside the two of them. Jeez, that woman could sneak up on everyone.”We can certainly use her to our benefit.”

 

Cullen knew the tevinter was right as was Leliana, but speaking of her as a mindless weapon they could just throw against their enemy made him angry.

 

“She is not just a weapon to be used as we are pleased” he bit out between clenched teeth.”She is more than that.”

 

Leliana wasn't intimidated by his dark glare, not in the least. She just raised an eyebrow at him as Cassandra joined them.

 

“I agree with both of you.” Cassandra said. “And with Dorian as well.” She added if a little grumpy.”We need her. There are still rifts to be closed and that Darkspawn we've all seen, troubles me greatly.”

 

“Most important now is, what are we to do next? We can not stay here in the mountains.” Leliana stated.”I'd say we march down to Orlais and try to find a new place to re-establish the Inquisition. Josie might be able to call in some favors around the nobility.”

 

Cullen huffed, still a little aggravated. “I'd say we go to Ferelden and try to reach a compromise with the crown. I am _not_ setting foot into Orlais!”

 

Cassandra sight and suppressed the urge to role her eyes.

 

...

 

_You need to wake up._

 

_I don't want to._

 

_Don't be stubborn, child._

 

_I'm not a child and I'm not stubborn, I'm exhausted and tired of it all. I don't want to run and hide anymore._

 

_You don't have to, now wake up. They need you. Wake up Kirana, Wake up!_

 

 

Kira opened her eyes, blinking at the sudden invasion of light on her sensitive pupils. She groaned in discomfort as she became aware of the condition of her body. She was bruised almost from head to toe, from the long fall into the cave beneath Haven. She had no idea _how_ she had been able to find it, but she suspected a certain unnerving spiritual voice having something to do with it.

 

Letting out a huff she tried to sit up, but her back hurt so much that she just flopped back into the mattress, before she even got halfway into a sitting position. A sharp pain accompanied her breathing for a moment. She was sure she had at least a cracked rib. Reaching under the blanket she fingered at the bandages around her chest, wincing as her fingertips brushed over a very tender spot, someone had obviously tended to her wounds. They must have found her where she had finally collapsed in the snow, unable to take one more step. Well, at least they did not leave her to die in the snow, that was something.

 

She still felt a sharp pang of sorrow when she remembered the templars words, instinctively she reached for her magic, but it hadn't recovered enough to shield of the pain.

 

_Damn it!_

 

If Kira couldn't endure one thing, it was being weak. And all the events that happened this night had weakened her immeasurably, physically as emotionally.

 

 _Pull yourself together, this isn't over yet._ She chided herself in an effort to clear her mind.

 

She needed to get up and moving, she needed to find out what they planned on doing with her.

 

_They won't hurt you. Relax._

 

Damnable spirit! Easier said than done! She tried to get up again, forcing herself through the pain, biting her lip to stay silent. She wouldn't want to alarm anyone that she was awake, not yet, not like this. The blanket slid down from her chest to pool at her hips when she finally managed to sit up, revealing her bandaged chest, her breast band had remained untouched. So at least no one had seen her completely naked. What a relieve.

 

Not that she felt ashamed of her body, on the contrary, she new she had very well formed curves, but the long scars winding up from her stomach, over her hips and waist, almost artfully curving towards her back, were a completely different matter. The Templar who tortured her was dead, probably still rotting in the clearing where she had left him to choke on his own blood, but the scars would remain.

 

She trailed a finger a long one of them, feeling the roughness of it in comparison to her otherwise smooth and soft skin. How many scars would she have to gain until this all came to an end?

 

_Probably a lot more._

 

Kira pulled the blanket away from her legs, she looked even worse than she felt, her skin was purple and blue in many places and her muscles ached with every movement. Still she forced one of her long legs over the edge of her bed. How should she be able to dress herself like this?

 

Her gaze took in her surroundings, it was a makeshift tent, the side cloth of it rippled in the wind that still blew harshly outside. She caught sight of her clothes, unceremoniously draped over a chair beside the bed. She reached out, stifling another groan at the movement. When she had managed to drag them towards her, she inspected them closely. They were torn in many places, absolutely ruined. A blanket would cover her more than this.

 

She flung them aside, taking in a sharp breath at the pain that laced through her. Taking a moment to recover, she finally stood up. Ignoring her aching muscles entirely. At least her boots were still alright, she put them on quickly, looking for something else to cover her half naked body.

 

A heavy black cloak hung across the tent on a hock, she limped towards it. Reaching out she stopped the motion inches away from the fabric. She new that cloak, it was Cullen's. Had he been the one to save her from freezing to death? No, impossible. He hadn't cared about her in the Chantry, why would he care now?

 

Kira pulled the cloak down, wrapping it around her. It was warm and heavy and it smelled like him. She drew in a deep breath, face buried into the rough fabric, oddly comforting. She wished it would have been him, finding her and carrying her back to this tent.

 

 _Silly girl, no knight in shining armor will ever come for me_. She thought resigned.

 

Voices carried through the thin cloth of the entrance to the tent, angry voices, familiar angry voices.

She looked up from the cloak, taking in another deep breath. Once again she tried to reach for her magic to cover herself, it slipped away like before, leaving her bare and vulnerable. It couldn't be helped.

 

She straightened, forcing herself _not_ to limp nor show _any_ sign of her condition. When she was satisfied with herself, she took another breath, wrapping Cullen's cloak tight around her, she stepped outside into the cold.

 

…

 

“I'm not having this dis-” Cullen froze mid-sentence, finger still pointing straight at Leliana, when he saw Kira emerge out of the tent.

 

The mages that still stood guard around the tent, watched her silently, each one of them inclined their head in respect, some of them even bowed down before her.

 

For a moment she looked confused, even shocked at their behavior. Leanna stepped out of the crowd of mages, placing a hand on Kira's arm she whispered into her ear. Kira's eyes widened even further, her eyes found his and held them for a long moment, as Leanna continued to talk to her.

 

Some of the people of Haven saw their Herald standing before the tent, more and more people gathered around them. Looking at her and whispering. It wasn't the same as in the Chantry, there were no frightened whispers, only voices filled with respect and awe. Kira looked at them in utter disbelieve.

 

“So many faces, why do they look at me like this? Pain and sorrow, old and new. Mother's eyes were full of tears, when she kissed me goodbye. 'You have to hide it my child'. Voices in the darkness, tears hot on my cheeks, the Templars are on patrol, 'Don't let them see the glow, please let them pass by.'”

 

Cole stood beside him talking rapidly as if in trance, before Solas was beside him. Touching his shoulders lightly he fixed the boy's concentration on him.

 

Cole blinked several times, looking sorrowful “She was so scared.” he whispered, wringing his hands. How did the boy know all this? It sounded like he had plugged the things he had said out of Kira's memories.

 

Solas nodded at him “She did not confide in many people about her past, or herself.”

 

“You knew it?” Cassandra burst out, glaring at the elf.

 

He nodded once more, his calm expression never changed. “Yes Seeker, I knew. Every mage can feel the difference in her, but many are too afraid to simply ask her about it. She was shunned for what she was, is, by ignorant fools. She had no one to guide her, or comfort her. Even when the Circles rebelled she couldn't just be herself.” his gaze swept over all of them, making sure everyone listened to what he had to say, before he went on.

 

“Then she dropped out of the Fade with a strange Mark on her hand, to be found by the Inquisition. All you did in the beginning was to distrust her, mostly because she is a mage, what would you have done if you knew it then? You blamed her for a crime she didn't commit. She would never kill an innocent, she wouldn't be able too, but then again, how should you know?” his gaze rested on Cassandra for a moment, there was no blame in his eyes or features, but still his words seemed to cut through all of them.

 

“That's part of who she is. I know you had your reasons to do so, but still it wasn't right. She came to me when she could no longer bare the weight of responsibility you placed on her shoulders. And she told me about herself, not everything, but enough. I already knew it for certain by then. But what really impresses me is not her magic, it is her _indomitable_ will to survive, to keep on going. Her good heart and her gentleness.” His gaze swept over them as again.

 

“To come out of all this mess, distrust, and fear, the way she is, still trying her best to keep everyone alive, _even_ if they hate her, is almost unbelievable. A lesser mage, a lesser human, would have been broken under the pressure.”

 

Soals eyes went cold “And now you stand here discussing her value and usefulness to your cause, without even considering to ask her about _her_ opinion on the matter. But then again, she is only a pawn in a giant chess game!” with this said he turned to march out of the camp. Leaving them standing, all looking dumbstruck.

 

Suddenly the full extend of Kira's former life crashed down on him. How could he have been so blind? Of course she would have thought they would reject her. She had to hide what she was all the time, never falter, never stumble, never slip, in fear of discovery. Always the need to control her magic, to control her emotions, when what Dorian had told him was correct. The sympathy he felt for her couldn't be described. How could he have doubted her?

 

“It must have been very hard.” Cole whispered.

 

They all looked at the ground, shuffling their feet uncomfortable. Even Leliana seemed to be ashamed of what she had said before.

 

A voice drifted over to him, apparently Mother Guiselle was singing an old part of the Chant of Light. More voices fell in, rising and falling around him. Leliana joined in with her clear and high voice, he was sure he could even hear Varric mumble the words under his breath. With a last look at Kira he closed his eyes joining the rest of them, all his doubts, fears and insecurity underlining his voice.

 

….

 

The people of Haven dropped slowly to their knees, while Kira let her gaze sweep over the crowd in front of her. The song they sang echoed back from the mountains around them. Even Cullen had joined the singing, his clear and low voice rippled through her like the small waves in pond. She had expected _many_ things when she had stepped out of the tent, but this? THIS? Never.

 

She reached out to take Leanna's hand in hers, needing something to remind her this wasn't a dream, she wasn't sleeping, this was reality. The people of Haven, the soldiers of the Inquisition, the mages and templars, her friends and even Cullen, had seen what she was, what she really is, and they accepted it?

 

Leanna squeezed her hand in return, she had told her what had happened before. That Cullen had found her buried in the snow and brought her back. That thought alone thrilled her, but that he stood up against the templars that called her a demon in the Chantry. He threw them out of the camp, it was more than she could have ever have hoped for.

 

_A knight in shining armor.._

 

She had already admitted to herself that she felt something for him, more than friendship, much more. Her pulse was racing, eyes unable to look away from him, she felt that familiar tingling in her stomach she had tried to ignore for so long.

 

_Maybe there is a chance._

 

...

 

The song came to an end, and Cullen opened his eyes to see her looking right at him, a warm smile curling her lips, it was the same she had given him the moment after they had kissed. His heart leaped up in his chest at the sight. He loved that smile he realized, he would do everything to see her smile like that.

 

His breath hitched when she took an uncertain step towards them, sapphire blue eyes fixed on his. Was she wearing his cloak? He was so occupied by everything said and done, that he hadn't realized _what_ she was wearing. Her clothes had been torn, barley more than rags covering her soft skin when he had found her. A strong breeze moved the fabric to reveal her bare legs. _Only_ his cloak?

 

A sudden, very deep, possessive growl rumbled through his chest at the sight of her approaching him like this. He blinked, surprised at the unexpected notion, and flushed instantly. His heart hammered against his chest, and the _longing_ , the desire to touch her, to _feel_ her pressed against him, almost overwhelmed him.

 

He griped the hilt of his sword for support, in an attempt to regain control over himself again, and to _not_ be tempted to _act_ on the fire that ran through his blood at the sight of her.

 

Leliana had missed nothing of his reaction of course, she followed his gaze with a smug smile tugging at her lips. Oh, _how_ he hated her in that moment.

 

“Oh my my, you look awful dearest. You should have slept at least a few hours before attempting to get up.” Dorian said from beside him.

 

Was the man _blind_? She looked absolutely _stunning_. With her red hair flying around her, like living flames, her brilliant blue eyes so clear and unguarded. And not to mention _his_ cloak to cover her soft and delicate, _naked_ , figure. Damn he was in trouble.

 

_Maker...She is so beautiful._

 

“You should use all the time you can get to rest, Herald.” Cassandra chided, though she shoot a confused look towards Cullen. Cullen could only nod, absolutely unable to take his eyes off her.

 

Dorian chuckled, mumbling something that sounded very much like _hopeless._

 

…

 

_Haven't I told you?_

 

_Oh shut up_

 

A faint smile curled around her lips and for a moment she did not feel the pain in her limps and chest, she only felt relieved as she approached her advisors. Kira was thoroughly confused by all this, she didn't even notice the look Cullen gave her when she stepped closer. What did they expect from her now? What could she say to them?

 

“Thank you.” was everything that came to mind. “I don't know...just...Thank you.” she stared at her feet, now that she stood before them she felt a little uneasy and embarrassed.

 

The wind that blew around her, now that she stood in the open, made her shiver and her sore muscles ached in the cold, sending another wave of pain rippling through her. She swayed a little on the spot, not quite able to hide her condition any longer, though she tried.

 

Her eyes swayed up as she recognized Cullen's boots just in front of her. He was so close, her heart started racing and her mouth went suddenly dry, should she say something else?

 

She fixed her gaze on his broad chest, his breastplate was clean again, glittering in the light of the moon. Now that she was close to him, she was afraid to meet his eyes. He had been the one finding her in the snow, he had been the one coming to look for _her_. She shivered again, not entirely caused by the cold.

 

“Leanna told me you've been....you've found me...T-Thank you for...coming for...me?” She squeezed her eyes shut, this definitely sounded very self-confident. By Andraste's knickers, could this get any more embarrassing?

 

“I'll always come for you.” she heard him say, his low voice was gentle and barley audible.

 

Kira's eyes snapped up to meet his warm golden one's. The honest emotions she could read in them caused her legs to tremble. The world began to spin before her and she had to brace a hand against his chest to steady herself. One of his hands came up to hold her by the elbow, keeping her upright. Though his touch was gentle she couldn't keep herself from inhaling a sharp breath when his fingers curled around her arm.

 

Cullen's eyebrows drew together at her expression. Of course he had noticed. Without a word he bent down and swept her off her feet. She started to protest, but he ignored it and carried her back to the tent.

 

“You're injured.” was the only thing he said when he slipped through the entrance of her tent.

 

“I'm fine.” she retorted heatedly, it wasn't that convincing, she couldn't suppress the shaking of her arms and legs any longer.

 

“Your not.” he placed her gently on the bed. The fabric of his cloak slipped aside, revealing her bare skin. His eyes fixed on the long scars curving around her waist and he froze.

 

“Not very pretty, I know.” Kira mumbled, tugging at the blankets beside her to cover herself. Cullen caught her hand before she could do so. Sitting down beside her, he tugged of his glove with his teeth, and trailed with his fingers over the tender scar tissue. The sensation sent heat waves running through her from where he touched her bare skin.

 

“You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.” he whispered softly.

 

Kira thought her heart would explode. Did he just call her beautiful?

 

Cullen's eyes roamed over the rest of her half-naked form, he winced when he saw the many purple and blue bruises, covering her skin. His fingers trailed up, brushing over the bandages at her chest. She flinched when he found the tender spot on her broken ribs. His amber eyes met hers again.

 

“You think I'm beautiful?” she asked shyly.

 

The smile that tugged at his lips made him look so handsome she wanted to bury her hands in his golden hair and kiss him senseless.

 

The thought of his soft lips against hers.. _Oh Maker_...She bit at her bottom lip, letting it slide through her teeth. Cullen's eyes dropped down at the motion, he licked his lips in respond and leaned in closer, but not close enough.

 

“Kiss me.” she whispered softly, unable to stop the words from spilling out.

 

Cullen's eyes widened in surprise. Kira reached up to run her finger through the stubbles covering his cheek, he shivered at her touch. Sliding her hand to the nape of his neck she tugged him gently towards her. He went willingly, cupping her face with both of his hands he pressed his lips against hers in a heated kiss. This felt entirely different from the first, there was no magic surrounding her, nothing to protect her, and strangely it didn't even bother her.

 

She only felt her racing heartbeat, the raging heat running through her veins. She responded to him in a way she had never responded to anyone before. His tongue glided longingly over her bottom lip and she parted her mouth eagerly, he licked against her tongue once, then started to nip at her bottom lip, sucking away the sting his teeth left on her.

 

One of his hands left her cheeks and slid over her collarbone to her shoulder and down her side, leaving a trail of fire burning on her skin. Her arms circled around his neck, drawing him closer. His thumb flicked over her hipbone, strong fingers spanning her sensitive skin. She rolled her hips in respond to his touch and he gasped. Abandoning her mouth he trailed soft and hot kisses down her jawline to her neck. Kira moaned when his ruff stubbles brushed over her cheeks and she shivered.

 

“Maker you're so beautiful. I thought...” he whispered in her ear, nipping at her neck. Her fingers curled up in his hair and she tugged. His head came up again, the desire she could read in his eyes matched hers. It was all too much, too much and not enough. She wanted more, she needed more. He bent down again kissing her gently this time, lips brushing over hers sweet and gentle.

 

“You really should rest.” he whispered against her lips, before he kissed her once more. He started to rise.

 

“I don't want to rest!” she protested as his hands left her body. She tried very hard to keep him from sitting upright. As if she could stop him. He nearly dragged her up with him she held on so tight to his neck, but her arms weren't strong enough to hold on for long, and she flopped back into the blankets with an irritated huff.

 

He chuckled, eyes flashing up at her pouting expression. He covered her in his cloak again and tugged the blankets over her.

 

“Sleep.” he commanded softly, bending down to place a kiss on her forehead. “I'll come back later.”

 

Despite her efforts to stay awake her eyelids became too heavy and she blinked owlishly up at him.

 

“Don't go.” she whispered. “I'll sleep better when you are around.”

 

Cullen smiled at that, a warm and happy smile.

 

“I need to arrange some things, I won't be gone for long. Sleep, you're save now.” his voice was low and pleasant. He rose up and walked to the entrance.

 

“Cullen?”

 

He turned around once more, but she had already fallen asleep. He watched her sleeping, for a long moment before he left the tent, with the most foolish grin on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me so long to release this chapter cause I broke up with my boyfriend and moved out into my own little apartment, kind of a really crazy time right now. And I am enjoing every minute of it. Thanks for reading and sorry again.
> 
> ****  
> IMPORTANT NEWS: (April 2017) This fic is currently being rewritten and will be published as a collection to this one.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your support. I couldn't have done it without you. And I hope to see some of you enjoying the reworked version of this little piece of mine.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow congratulations you made it through....thank you so much for reading.
> 
> You may have guessed (of course you have) I'm not a native speaker but I simply can not write this stuff in any other language 
> 
> If anyone out there is willing to help me with it please let me know. I did my very best..but I am far (faaaaar) from perfect.
> 
> Many thanks to MINION54 for her invaluable help.


End file.
